My very limited experience with these places is they don't answer their phones--everything automatically goes to voicemail or an answering service. The reason for this is that most parents become very anxious helicopter parents the first time their kids go away. The forced separation is as much for the parents as for the kids. You don't realize how warped your life gets by the child's problems; you don't realize how you've lost yourself.
I find it funny that a doctor won't give you a sedative. You don't need a whole prescription, just one pill to calm you down and let you sleep.
These next two months are going to be good for you, very good. They will make you a better parent when you have contact with your boy again.
These places are experienced with your kids' problems. They don't want to hurt him. They really do want to help. And there's nothing, nothing, nothing, your son will do in his worst moments they haven't seen before.
They aren't just ONE single mother dealing with a problem, they are several experienced professionals. Your son has a meltdown, and there are two, three, four people there RIGHT away. There's a psychiatrist and a psychologist immediately available. There are special rooms, special diversions, a variety of personalities, and surprisingly enough, other children just like him in various stages of stability. There will be absolute stability in his environment; it's so hard for a tired, weary, pulled to pieces parent to provide that.
Your son won't be the odd one here. Maybe for the first time in his life he will be surrounded by people just like him; people who rather do understand; everyone around him will have been where he is, no matter where he is at any one moment. Maybe for the first time in his life he will be in an environment other than his home where he won't be judged for his lapses. They'll just be dealt with matter of factly. After all, who among the others haven't been in his shoes?
They are horses. How wonderful. New experiences are about to open up for him. He's going to have fun; what other things are there? Swimming, a pool, a lake? Obstacle courses, games rooms? There will be chores. Fun ones: raking hay and brushing horses and giving them apples and water. Maybe air hockey, air darts, kick ball, a pool table? Tents and bon fires and hiking trails and making dinner over a fire in aluminum foil.
Will he have meltdowns? Yep. Will anyone be shocked and appalled and angry? Nope. Will he be rude and talk back and break things and refuse to do his share? If he does that at home, he'll do it there too. He'll know beforehand exactly what the consequence will be and how to get the consequence to end.
When toddlers throw themselves on the floor and tantrum, parents step around them and go on with their day. Or they scoop them up and put them in their cribs for a safe quiet place to tantrum and recover. The same thing will happen here.
These people KNOW what they are doing. They've seen it all. They do not want him to fail, they do not want to hurt him. Remember if you hear nothing, that means everything is going well.
I know you are worried that he's homesick and acting out. He won't be the first; if so, he might be in the majority. You are worried that he will be miserable. Maybe, but only for a while. There are horses and activities waiting. Read up on horse therapy, it's very, very interesting and will be reassuring to you.
He's okay. Have the doctor who messed up contact the place and let them know. It's his responsibility; and his liability. Remember if you hear nothing, his health is good. They WILL tell you if he's ill, injured or hospitalized. If you hear nothing, he's fine.
That's a big change. Your experience up to now may be if you hear nothing, trouble's about to explode. If you haven't heard anything, you are about to. As a parent of a difficult child you are likely sooooooooo tired of hearing people complain about him, telling you what he did NOW and expecting you do DO SOMETHING about it--ASAP. But that's not going to happen for the next two months. Nobody's going to come complaining to you about his meltdown, his back talking, his throwing food or shoving another kid, his defiance. Inspite of his problems, there will be people who like him.
AND...
Nobody's going to expect you to do ANYTHING.
This is your turn. It's likely your soul has been shredded by this long journey with your son. Pamper yourself. See old friends, friends are so good for the soul. Go out to dinner, have your hair cut, styled, frosted, streaked or shaved off completely. Get caught up at work. Clean out the closets. Fix up Matt's room so he has something special to come home to and will know you were thinking of him and loving him while he was gone. Go to the beach. Get a message.
It's YOUR turn. He'll be fine; it's your turn.
