Well I know we had done too many things yesterday... I knew she would be on overload. But she was trying so hard and sometimes I have to get stuff done! Both of the girls had Dentists apts. Early, so we had to drive over and hour to get to them. So long apts... by the way K loves the dentist!!! She is weird that way... she had to have her teeth sealed, loved it. But this is still sensory, junk on her mind... So then we had to got to Target, big city store!!! We needed to pick up presents for Birthday Parties this weekend. ( I think she is partly "up" due to the 2 birthday parties today and Saturday) She started having an overload in Target... i was able to calm her... options. Threats... Telling her I know she can do this!!! Oh also we had stopped prior to Target to get them a sandwich, so they would be OK to deal... I also bought them a treat for the rest of the ride home!!! So then we had to stop at PETCO... I had laid out all of this beforehand so they knew... she had her list and was checking it off... She did great in PETCO. They love the pets. Another almost breakdown in car... So of course I see Best Buy!!! I need to but something for husband's birthday!!! One of the few times husband is not with me and I am actually in the BIG CITY!!! So I park in front, let the girls stay in the car with Clemmey. They are watching a movie... they are fine with this. I never let them do this... the big city is actually still a small town!!! So they are safe... took me just a few minutes. So we start drive home, have treats, N falls asleep on drive home. K does great reast of way home... We get home, I stop movie and am about to re-start it in the house, I say lets start it back aways so N can catch up??? K is elevating a bit by now... jumping around... but not wanting to do anything but watch the movie. I say come on K it is OK lets just let N catch up??? This way I can put the stuff away and then we can start dinner... I am even going to make burritos because they both want them!!! She loses it... starts screaming... it turns basically into a full meltdown. I tell her she can chose to either watch the show, or go upstairs with me. To help her calm down. It ends us with her hitting herself... dropping to the floor, she starts pinching herself, all over and saying she can't stop. She can't make her body stop. It is helping her calm down. She tells me she can't make her body work. I need to pinch her to help her, to make her body work again... she is stuck. The dog is swinging a ball on a rope around her head and almost hitting her... she still doesn't move. I tell her I am not pinching her and I am done talking. She just lays there sobbing begging me to pinch her... Finally I pick her up and she screams that is not the same, you need to pinch me!!! pinch my arms and legs... In the end we talk and she tells me the pinching feels like it will bring her back and help her feel calm. She has started to do more of this in the past week... pinching her mouth when I am asking her to be quiet, she will scream I can't and starts pinching her mouth. Or arms. it is so reminiscent of cutting or self abuse... it scares me pretty bad. Of course when I called husband and talked to him about it. He hadn't noticed it. i don't want to be over thinking this, but. I am going to be watching her and keeping track of this... I just know I used to pull my hair out because it was calming when I was out of control... So the pinching makes sense. I have read before when a child is almost immobilized by there mania... they become almost in a seizure like state... and they need like a slap or pain to bring them around. Not that I am going to do that!!! (They feel like they need the pain to bring them around) I also know a lot of BiPolar (BP) people myself included in the past, thrived on the adrenalin of the high of the pain... whether from an argument or pain from self infliction... I just hope she isn't doing this stuff already.