Please pray--difficult child jumped today

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mog, Jan 29, 2010.

  1. mog

    mog Member

    difficult child called and asked me if the asst. principal had called me yet and I said no and he told me that I had to come pick him up. Right away you start thinking oh no what now. Did he yell at a teacher, start a fight, leave campus or what. I asked him are you going to jail and he said no just come get me. I got to the school and the asst. prin. could not be found. I asked his credit counselor and she said she hadn't seen him but her office is next to the ass. prin. I went to the attendance office and they did not know where he was. Off to the security office (I don't know what the heck is up with today but they had about six different groups of kids in there that were in fights this afternoon) they didn't know where he was but that they had already taken his statement but not tell me about what. I went to the nurses office and found him there. The nurse told me that he had come to the office to take his medications because he was really upset and covered in blood. I went back to check on him but he was in and out of consciousness. I tried to talk to him to find out but I couldn't hardly understand him. After about an hour and 10 mins. the ass. prin. came in and told me that he had been jumped. He sat up and was trying to give her more information but he wasn't making sense.She said that they will try to get to the bottom of it on Monday but that difficult child is not in trouble. So from what I have put together is that this kids that was in Difficult Child with difficult child about a year ago before he went to treatment and foster family was harassing him, calling him names and wanted to fight. difficult child asked him if they could talk things out and agree to just stay away from one another so he told him to meet him. difficult child went (why I don't know-I would have said no) Well difficult child asked his friend who is a girl to go with him and her friend went to. difficult child tried to talk to him but this kid had three guys with him and he had two guys hold him while he hit him and the third guy video taped it. By the time I got there the kid had run from campus, a security guard had found difficult child and took his statement and sent him to the nurse. They had everyone looking for this kid. difficult child had called the lady that is in charge of his ankle braclet and his JPO. The lady in charge of the bracelet came to the house to check on difficult child and told him not to go to sleep cause he has a pretty good goose egg on his forehead and his right shin is all scraped up. She told me that she was here to make sure that difficult child was ok and that he is not in trouble. JPO called and asked about difficult child and said that the other kids mom has just been informed and that they put out a warrant for his arrest and they will let me know when they take him into custody. I also got a phone call that we have court on Monday at 1 and I freaked but JPO said that it was already scheduled just so that the judge can check on difficult child's progress now that he is at home. difficult child keeps falling asleep cause of his medications so i keep waking him up. I will just keep a close eye on him tonight. I ask that everyone pray that that this incident will not affect him in court on monday. All in all he is doing better and trying really hard. Thank you
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm sorry this happened. Actually, it can work in his favor though. For one, it might help him to stay out of trouble- it's weird but sometimes things like this can help teach our difficult child's a lesson. Secondly, I hate to say it this way, but the fact that he was a victim in this case and not the cause or contributor works in his favor to the courts and if he doesn't try to get back at them , may even help him get off earlier. I know that doesn't help your mommy heart though.
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator


    Prayers being said.

    Has he been seen by a doctor to rule out a concussion? If not, I'd get him to urgent care or the emergency room just to be safe.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Good idea- and if you wanted, you could probably sue those parents for any medical costs.
  5. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I agree with TM. I don't like the sound of his symptoms. Please have him evaluated by a doctor tonight.
  6. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Mog, I'm so sorry that this happened - I agree with the others, I'd take him to the er. A CAT scan should be run to ensure that he doesn't have a concussion - I don't like the sounds of the injuries - not to worry you, but when people describe an "egg" on his head, all I can think of is that they really need to be seen. Tell the school that you need the names of the other kids parents and that you would like to send the bill to the school for them to forward to the parents.

    You don't want ANYONE to give YOU the address because you don't want anyone to be able to blame difficult child if these kids get into trouble.

    I'm so proud of what a great job he did trying to go the peaceful route. He showed an incredible amount of self-restraint, self-respect AND the utmost maturity that he possibly could. Tell him his board aunties are proud of him (unless he's not aware of the site - then just tell him your friends are proud!).

    Praying hard at this end for you!

  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I think he ought to be checked out as well. Many hugs...hope he's all right.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Another who votes for having him checked out-saying prayers here.
  9. Farmwife

    Farmwife Member

    I am praying for your difficult child.

    I am horrified. I am sure you are very upset.

    When the dust has settled and he is able to speak well I would immediately go file a report with the police. In my opinion an assault was committed not just by the one kid but also by the two that held him. I would personally press charges and follow up with the court/prosecutor to make sure that they are punished to the full extent of the law. busy courts drop cases that no one cares about...

    Then I would march my police report and difficult child who is able to speak clearly to the principal and insist the kids are not just suspended but expelled. If I didn't find satisfaction there I would very politely approach the superintendant and the school board.

    6 fights in one day at one school sounds like a law suit waiting to happen. The trios behavior cannot be tolerated. They should be used to set an example. If that didn't work I would consider filing a civil suit against the school. They are responsible for the kids safety while they are on campus. 6 fights in one day looks very very bad indeed. Your difficult child has enough life difficulties to add to that is despicable.

    The aggressors in this incident not only acted in an obviously sick and depraved way they also

    Conspired and planned the event before hand
    Brought a camera to record the event (look on myspace for a copy)
    Attacked your difficult child without provocation and with very unfair advantage

    Two testosterone pumped boys fighting one on one is one thing
    3 boys viciously attacking another who had no interest in fighting is a whole different thing.

    I would probably been arrested myself for doing medievel things to those boys parents just to drive home my message. I DO NOT compromise when it comes to protecting my bear cubs, EVER.

    Sorry to get so pumped up but if it were my difficult child I would be losing my mind with rage at the 3 kids right now. I'm sure you all can sense that through the screen.

    Sorry. That stuff just aint right, aint right at all.
  10. mog

    mog Member

    Thank you all for your concern about difficult child. I watched him very closely for several hours then he starting coming clear from his medications and is very coherent. He ate well and was very alert. He watched some T.V. and really did not want to talk anymore about it tonight he said he would tomorrow. He now has taken his regular medications and is sleeping. I'm sure I will be up and down all night checking on him bad weekend to be here without help. The lady in charge of the ankle bracelet said she was going to check on u tube and my space. I don't have a my space but I will be looking a u tube. She said she will be looking for the video to find the boys that held him down.
  11. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Glad difficult child appears to be physically ok - keep that close eye on him this weekend - I know you will.

    I hope they are able to get to the bottom of this. Hoping difficult child can give you more information today. I think you should mention pressing assault charges.

  12. Jeppy

    Jeppy New Member

    See if your assistant district attorney's office has a victim advocate who can help you. I'm so sorry this all happened to your difficult child and of course to you and the rest of the family by extension as you are also worried and traumatized by it.
  13. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    The one who filmed it is also equally culpable.

    difficult child did well. He showed a great deal of maturity and class. Good for him! I hope when he appears before the judge on Monday, someone explains why he looks a bit of a mess and tat not only was he NOT the aggressor in any way, but he tried to resolve the aggression in a responsible way.

    I would get him seen to, to get a formal medical report. Take photos. Document it all, so there can be clear, easily verified evidence of the damage these thugs did. It can mean the difference between "Actual Bodily Harm" and "Intimidation".

  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm so glad that he is doing so well. What a relief! Personally I think it wise to let the authorities do their thing and wait to see what happens.
    Obviously they are not ignoring the situation and from personal experience I would guess that your difficult child will get (and apparently already it getting) the message that wrongdoers are punished by the authorities and victims can trust that protections are in place. If he keeps his dignity and does not discuss and share his experience with others, in my humble opinion he will feel respected for his maturity. You should be so proud. Hugs. DDD
  15. maril

    maril New Member

    mog: How awful. Prayers are being sent your way.

    I hope he slept well last night and that things go well on Monday. Hugs.
  16. Farmwife

    Farmwife Member

    I don't want to seem contrary or snarky but my experience has been different. I think it varries from school to school and police department to police department. Unfortunately I have seen many crimes go unpunished and not pursued. This includes a murder/manslaughter case that was never investigated even with calls to the detectives, an assault case with clear evidence but the perpetrator was let go with no fine, no jail time...nada. I repeatedly "ran into" the fist of a 6'2" 260 lb. muscle bound body builder.

    I am glad that you still live in a place and reality that you feel safe and protected by authorities and law enforcement. I on the other hand do not. (prompted my move to the middle of nowhere) Hold on to that sense of security and pray you can keep it. I learned that once that feeling is gone it can be a very scary world feeling as if you are on your own.

    How this all applies to kids. Well, my difficult child has had lots of kids bully him. He has been literally stuffed into a garbage can in 6th grade. Had a kid and his older cousins jump him in 4th grade they threatened to kill him and I with a hammer, had a bully hit him sometimes daily during 6th grade. In all of those instances I spoke up politely and was summarily dismissed. The time he was jumped I found out a week later via mail. difficult child was ashamed to tell me himself and was scared the entire week. Each of those incidents were by different kids at different schools.

    At the end of 6th grade I told difficult child he didn't have to let the bully hit him that he could stand up for himself. Bully confronted him with a crowd for back up. difficult child broke his hand on the kids face and had he been any older would have been arrested for the part where he started stomping the kid after he hit the ground. After a year of intimidation and mocking difficult child had enough. Had the school acted like they cared difficult child would have been spared a suspension and reputation.

    ...that kid still picks on difficult child?!?!?! and many other kids. He still gets away with it too. The school is too busy to care and too unconcerned to have a serious discussion with the parents.

    After the school shootings and all the videos online of kids getting beaten down it's about time we as parents all get outraged. A lot of the kids who commit school shootings are victims of bullying.

    I don't mean to be snarky, like I said. Me and mine have just happened to be victims enough times to know the system doesn't always work.
  17. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry! (((((hugs)))))

    This just hoovers. He was trying to talk it out, to use the tools he was taught, the way he was told that people work things out instead of fighting. Attaboy to him!

    If you PM me the search terms I can search youtube also, if you need help, that is.

    PLEASE get him to the doctor. Even a couple of days later this should be checked. You also need that documentation to prove how hurt difficult child was. It will help in court, both in filing and pressing assault charges and in his court cases.

    WIthout the doctor's evaluation, the attackers can argue it was just for show, like a fight in a movie using stuntment. That doctor report is crucial in showing that it was assault and not a choreographed stunt like in Hollywook.

    It is also important to have it documented in his medical records in case problems come up in a week or 6 that are caused by the attack or made worse by the attack.

    Please tell difficult child that I am so PROUD of him. Not for getting beaten up but for trying to settle things using his words. For going to the adults to get help, trusting that they would realize/believe that he truly IS a victim here.

    Sending hugs to the whole family.
  18. maril

    maril New Member

    mog: I hope all went well in court today and that your son is feeling better. Best wishes to all.
  19. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh! I am so sorry!
    I have been offline for a while so am just catching up. I will look for an update from you.
    Hugs to you all.
    And justice.
  20. Star*

    Star* call 911


    What happened to your son is awful and I'm sure you are shaken. I'm very sorry for you both.

    I agree with the ideas that the thugs that did this should be prosecuted-no doubt about it, but I have to tell you I agree with Farmwife. She's not giving you a bit of snarky attiude, she's really telling you how it is. Today's world in school and today's kids are obviously NOT like it was for us 20 years ago. Our kids have a lot more violence to deal with so don't be surprised if your son just shrugs this off and begs you to forget this entire instance.

    Dude has had guns shoved in his mouth and had it not been for the fact that Dude has been in and out of the "system" and known so many kids? When the 2nd car pulled up one of the boys he was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) with just happened to be in the gang that was going to kill him - and stopped it. Dude told me "You have NO idea what goes on in our world daily Momma, it's NOT the 1980's. You can't even walk down the street any more without someone pulling a gun on you in our nice neighborhood."

    I'm really sorry this happened mog - I wish the best for your son in court on Monday. I don't see this as being a negative for him, and hopefully in some weird way it did something to help him not want to be around violence. Prayers going up.