Please pray for my daughter.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by rejectedmom, Oct 6, 2011.

  1. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    My eldest child is a 37 year old mother of two. On December 7, 2010 she was hurt in a karate class. She suffered a closed head Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). For three months she could not tolerate light or sound. She was unable to stand up without getting dizzy and had word retrival problems and migraine headaches constantly. She improved a bit and the vertigo went away and she could take the sunglasses off. She had been progressing but still has migraine headaches daily cannot read, cannot listen to music and has great dificulty in noisy places. I have spent alot of time helping her with the kids doing shopping and alike.

    She managed to start driving the kids to their activities a few weeks ago. Only short distances at first and then longer ones with many rest stops. She tries to do as much as she can but life in general is overwhelming for her.

    As if things weren't difficult enough for her, sister in law now wants a divorce so he can pursue relations with other women. The savings accounts are empty and we do not know if it is ligit or if he took the money and hid it. The lawyer told her the house must be sold because she still cannot work and there isn't enough money for her husband to get a place of his own and keep the house. I offered her to live here with us but it means the kids will be moved from their friends, schools and activities. They are 8 and 12. She decided to stay in the house with sister in law untill the place is sold wich could be a long time in this market.

    All this stress has set her way back in her recovery from this injury. She is on many different kinds of medicines which are reaking havoc with her body. Steroids had packed on alot of weight and her self esteem is in the gutter due to sister in law. Your prayers and good thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you -RM
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh RM...I a so very sorry! I can empathize with all she has gone through but cannot imagine what it would be like to have to deal with such a -well I cant use those terms here- for a husband.

    You know without a doubt I will be praying for her..and you. I will even sticky note it to my wall so I wont forget!
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hugs and prayers going out.
  4. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Thank You Janet and KTmom, I am so very sad right now. I took her to lunch and afterwards we went to get her a pair of jeans because she went up a size. It was too much for her. She had a terrible headache and still had to run errands. She keeps pushing herself trying to do what she needs to do but it takes a toll.

    Janet I feel the same way about him but for the children's sake I will have to be civil.
  5. keista

    keista New Member

    So much for "in sickness"

    Prayers going out and an extra gentle but extra big ((((HUGS)))) out to both of you.
  6. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    So sorry RM - mega good positive vibes being sent her way

  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Thank you Keista and Marcy. Yes Keista it seems she took her vows much more seriously than he did his. I know she is better off without him but she can't work yet and that is weighing on her terribly. She called SS disability and she isn't eligable because he snatched her up right out of college. He had a timeline and didn't want her to work after the kids were born. So according to SS she didn't work enough and right now she is still concidered under his income which is too high.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh no, poor thing!
    What a mess. I am so sorry about her husband, too. So very sad.
    I am hoping she can get off some of her medication and find a way to keep her headaches under control. How are the kids handling it? All I can say is, poor thing. At least she has you, and new jeans. Sigh.
    I will be thinking of you all.
  9. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I'm so sorry, of course I'll keep your daughter and the kids in my prayers.
  10. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Sending prayers...
  11. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Thank you Terry and TM. The kids are devastated. They cannot wrap their heads around their father not loving their mother anymore. Especially the 8 year old. Honestly I can't either. My easy child is one of the sweetest person's on earth. She is a beautiful person and it boggles my mind that she wasn't "enough" for sister in law.
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Goodness- what a lot to have on one's shoulders! I feel for her and will keep her in my thoughts. ((HUGS)) to you and her....
  13. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Thank you Klmno. by the way i love your avatar. I am one of those who speaks their mind in a shaky voice. -RM
  14. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    It sounds more like he either entered a mid-life crisis and just wants "freedom" (cough), or he already got attracted to someone else- as bad as that hurts, it has nothing at all to do with your daughter not being good enough. I'm sure it doesn't feel that way to her or look that way to the kids right now, but someday she and the kids will see that this is his straying and wrong-doing, not a fault in her.
  15. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Will be keeping her in my thoughts, as well. Perhaps if she is away from him she can get some sort of disability or SSI or something. What's that one they have for people who never worked, like kids? I'd think a good atty could force him out AND make him pay her house payments, might be time to shop around for a real shark.
  16. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    RM I'll keep your daughter in my daily prayers.

    Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) is not an easy thing to deal with, especially in the early days of recovery. I know you said it was Dec, but trust me, it's still the "early days". Recovery takes a while. And stress does tend to make the symptoms much worse. I can empathize with your daughter wanting to stay in her home as long as possible. I'm doing the same thing. (they'll have to literally throw me out)

    As far as her soon to be ex is concerned..........good riddance to bad rubbish. I know it probably doesn't look that way to her now, but she is far better off without the heartless jerk.
  17. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Oh wow....I will be sending many prayers her way and positive thoughts. I am so sorry for all of you.
  18. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Adding in my prayers. ((((hugs))))
  19. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately, some people cannot handle "disability". It cuts both ways - not always the fellow pulling out.
    "This" is not the person he married.... she's become "someone else". He can't have her back the way she was...

    No, its not right. Its not fair. Its... well, words fail me. (not often)
    But... its really, really sad. And the biggest losers are the kids.

  20. Rabbit

    Rabbit Member

    Sending up prayers hugs Rabbit