Please pray for my Young difficult child...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by lovemysons, Jan 20, 2012.

  1. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    daughter in law called me a short while ago in hysterics.
    She just talked to young difficult child's attorney and was told that young difficult child will likely be sentenced this next wednesday for 5 yrs in prison.

    I am calmer is daughter in law.

    She also said that young difficult child had not been honest with his attorney about his alcohol use. Now attorney will talk to young difficult child again tomorrow regarding this...and hopefully be able to sway the prosecutor into giving young difficult child a sentence to Prison Rehab like oldest difficult child was in at one time.

    daughter in law would like she and I to go to Amarillo and be there for the sentencing to support young difficult child. We will find out on Monday if we will be able to actually testify to the judge re: young difficult child's character.

    I thought I would collapse at first...but I am okay. I thought daughter in law had lost the baby when she first called me this afternoon...she was so upset and crying.

    She told me that the other night Grandson wanted to write a letter to daddy. He scribbled something and daughter in law asked him what he wrote he said "Daddy I love you and miss you please come home and give sister and I hugs and kisses forever".

    Meanwhile I have opened up my "Today a Better Way" book from Families Anonymous. Page 224 reminds me that... "When I allow fear and insecurity to dominate my thinking, I become an obstacle to my own growth and the growth of my children. My Higher Power really does guide others as well as me."

    Young difficult child is my most Sensitive child. He loved to play legos when he was little with me...I can see us on a Saturday morning with hundreds of lego pieces spread out on the living room floor directions in front of us as we set out to build spaceships or robots, etc.
    Since young difficult child was around 10 yrs old he has been obsessed with the weather. He would rather watch the weather channel than cartoons then...He still is obsessed with weather except now he can read elaborate weather models from all over the world.
    Young difficult child loves the winter snow...Loves the mountains of Colorado.
    Young difficult child loves His mamma, his wife and his children with all his heart. (tears)

    Please pray for him.
    Thank you,
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I will pray for him LMS. Please take care of yourself and continue with your own recovery.

  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh I am so sorry. Q loves weather too and watches the weather channel. He also loves building legos. I can picture it and can feel it when you describe it. He is more than his difficult child-ness... he is your beautiful son. I am sorry he has such a harsh time ahead. That seems a long time. I hope it does not go down like that but if it does I am glad you have a relationship with the mommy of his babies and his kids...

    That will be of comfort to him.

    I will be thinking of you. Praying for peace in your family. I pray too that he can be in the rehab program there... that sounds much more appropriate. HUGS, Dee
  4. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    {{{hugs}}} - I am with you in spirit and we can lean on each other. One day. he will come around and he will have the memories of those lego filled afternoons to fall back upon - because they are a part of the strong foundation you gave him. Believe it - I know I do and we need to hold on to that.
  5. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Hugs to you and saying prays for difficult child
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Oh, my friend, I am so saddened by your post. I'm sure you are struggling to wrap your head around this possibility...but there is still some hope that he will get appropriate placement and help to turn his life around. Prayers are being sent your way and as always I hope for the best for your family. As always, DDD
  7. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I'm praying for all of you. My heart is breaking for you as well. (((hugs)))
  8. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Thank you all...You have no idea how much it means to me that you all are praying for my young difficult child. Please no matter who replies please just take a moment and say a prayer for him. He is a good person with a sensitive soul...He feels so much more deeply than my other 2 children. I know he is hurting and scared.

    daughter in law will be over in a bit...Her mom is watching the kids for us. She and I are very good friends now. We need each other.

    On a somewhat positive note...husband and oldest difficult child think that my young difficult child will only do around 2 yrs not the full 5 yrs.

    Buddy, Please oh please don't fear the worst for your difficult child. He is still a little guy and you have been so very Proactive in getting him the help he needs while he is young.

    Thank you all so much for caring about my son. He is a special person. One day he may fully walk into the light ya know, and be healed or healing from his addictions and Bipolar Disorder.
    I am feeling alot of self-blame for both at the moment.
    May G-ds power be greater than the genetic damage done to my young difficult child.

  9. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Thank you, that is really sweet. I am not worried for that at this time, I simply can really imagine the feeling of those good times, playing legos and smiling as he watches the weather channel (everyone thinks it is so funny because my grandpa used to do that, and so they called Q an old man...little did they understand it was his autism stuff, lol).... They are people with unique interests and complex personalities and they are loved for their whole beings first--outside of the difficult child stuff. I can imagine you thinking of those special times and that it must break your heart he is where he is now.

    Prayer has been said and I will continue. This board has actually adjusted my prayers, they are not so hit and miss anymore. I believe it has helped me for one...and I hope the collective thoughts/prayers/whatever one chooses to send to the universe==do help support our difficult children.
  11. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    You know after all these years of sharing, LMS, I think your #2 is as Aspie. Yes, I know he has s.a. problems and sadly I understand those but I'd forgotten his childhood interests and behaviors. Being AS would explain why he wouldn't share with his Attorney properly. I wonder if he's not like our difficult child#2 and really doesn't get the give/take of social interaction. Obviously it won't help his situation but thought I would share with you what I've been thinking. Hope your visit goes well and helps you both relax a bit.

    It is possible that his Attorney said "you could get up to five years" and difficult child "heard" the five years and focused in on it with-o picking up the details. Unlike a CD friend of mine, lol, I am not a gambler but I would bet a nickle or two that five years is the "max" for his offenses. "the system" is more cautious now with the $$'s they spend. Gee, lol, if he were in Ca. he would have been home months ago. :) Hug. DDD
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    LMS...Im sorry it is coming down to this but maybe it will be what it takes to turn him around. I have faith he will be safe and at least he will have a roof over his head even if it isnt the best.
  13. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Definitely prayers for him and all of you!! This may be an answer to another prayer for him to get help. (((hugs)))
  14. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    I will also pray for you and your difficult child. HUGS...
  15. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hugs and prayers going out.
  16. buddy

    buddy New Member

    DDD-I assumed he must have, I guess I didn't even check the signature... but now that you say it I looked and now wonder the same.... Is there a chance??
  17. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    How are you doing today, LMS? I was thinking of you last night and hoping you felt better. Hugs. DDD
  18. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Thank you for asking about me...Honestly I feel very comforted by ALL of the prayers that I know were lifted up for my young difficult child last night, thank you all again.

    daughter in law and I went to the casino to get away from it all. On her way over, she HAD to call she said she would break into tears while just alone with her thoughts.
    We did not "do well" at the casino but we were a great comfort to each other. She loves my young difficult child So Much!

    Yes, young difficult child does exhibt obsessive single interests: the weather paranormal stuff and politics. He can go on and on and on about any of the subjects without realizing that "we" are not nearly as excited by them.
    Last night I googled AS symptoms etc and shared them with daughter in law. She is not real comfortable with the Bipolar Disorder or Autism scale discoveries. She has noted to me in the past and recently that my grandson, young difficult child's son, lines up his toys. I shared with her that THAT is also a characeristic of AS. Now, when young difficult child was at Drug Rehab for 4 months at age 13/14 I did have a psychiatrist there look into this matter. She told me that there was absolutely no way that young difficult child had Asperger's as he was "too social". I think having an extremely outgoing social charmer for a brother helped young difficult child in this capacity.

    I think you are right that young difficult child has not shared with his attorney the "true nature" of his problems because he in his mind thinks that it will make his situation worse as part of his original probation requirements demanded that he stay away from drugs and alcohol. So I think he thinks if he "admits" to these things that it will make the case against him even worse.

    It was his attorney that told daughter in law that the prosecutor is asking the judge for 5 yr sentence. However, you are more than correct that young difficult child hears a thing and jumps to the most Extreme Conclusions. That is how he operates for sure.

    I have said my prayers today that young difficult child will "fess up" in regards to his problems with his attorney visit today.
    My mother has been on a Cruise all this past week. I just briefly spoke with her (she is still on the ship) and told her that there were developments concerning young difficult child and that I might need her help this next Tues/Wed. I have spoken with husband and he will take the grandbabies Tuesday night for us...and am hoping that daughter in law, My Mom and Myself can make the trip to Amarillo Tuesday night and be there to either testify on young difficult child's behalf or simply be a show of support at 9am Wednesday morning for Court.

    I am hanging in there...and all of your support, hugs and most definitely your prayers are a comfort...and am hoping that G-d see's it in his infinite wisdom and good will to help the powers that be find it in their hearts and reason to put young difficult child into a treatment facility such as Safe P where he will be able to recieve counceling, medication, AA meetings etc as Opposed to just straight incarceration.
    We shall see.
    I am remembering Ant'smom's "phrase"..."G-d has a Plan".
    I am holding onto that hope right now.

    Thank you all so much again.
    It means everything to me.
  19. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Glad to read that you had a break, even if you did lose your weekly play money. Fingers crossed that difficult child realizes that his attorney can only work with what he has and if he has nothing..well the Prosecutor gets a big check mark next to his name in his office...ugh!

    I'll continue in my support. You know that. Hugs DDD
  20. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    You, Youngest and the entire family are in my prayers. I know htat this is a very difficult and scary week for you. I can still remember clearly how scared we were when my bro was in prison years ago with very serious charges and NO willingness to admit he had a sub abuse problem. I hope and pray that this will help him get the help he needs, and that he can begin to fight for his life as hard as you have fought for his life and as his young daughter in law has fought.

    He is a really really cool person. He has a very interesting mind and that psychiatrist is just plain wrong, in my opinion. He actually had a lot of traits that remind me of Wiz when he was his own worst enemy and refusing to admit that his actions were very wrong. Way back when I visited you I saw some serious Aspieness in him, but I did not think saying anything about it would help anything. It was clear that the diagnosis wasn't the problem as much as getting him to admit a problem existed was. I figured that there would be a time later to say something. I also knew it would not help anything for you to try to throw another diagnosis into the entire situation. I truly enjoyed him as a person and I hope and pray that at some time he can conquer his problems by admitting them and accepting/embracing help - regardless of what name those problems have.

    There is a plan, and I am sure that this is part of it.

    You have my hugs, love and prayers today, tomorrow, Wed and every day. (((((hugs))))))

    I do hope that they can get him into the prison rehab program that he cannot walk away from. At this time that might be best for him and for his family too.