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Please respond - Mother in Guatemala
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 57936" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I go to see him every day, pay for his food, his transportation, his home, everything. He never calls me to see how I am doing. He just asks for money. The only thing is that we do not sleep in the same house. But still I feel terribly guilty and this is how he manipulates me.</p><p> </div></div></p><p></p><p>He is 21 years old!!! It is time for this to stop. He is manipulating you and playing on your guilt.</p><p></p><p>Tell him that he is old enough to pay for his own expenses and that you will no longer be treated like this. He will fly into a rage but you need to simply walk away. He will only stop treating you this way when you make it clear that you will simply not tolerate it any longer.</p><p></p><p>I know that this advice probably hurts to hear but many of us on the PE forum have been through this. My husband and I got to the point where we had to tell our difficult child that she had to leave. We made the mistake to let her come back once but then found pot in her room and made her leave for good.</p><p></p><p>It was hard but it was the best thing that we could have done. She is living on her own, working, planning to go back to school (which I will believe when I see it), but most importantly, treating us with respect and rebuilding her relationship with us.</p><p></p><p>It is time to be strong. It will get easier with time. Keep posting to let us know how it goes.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 57936, member: 1967"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I go to see him every day, pay for his food, his transportation, his home, everything. He never calls me to see how I am doing. He just asks for money. The only thing is that we do not sleep in the same house. But still I feel terribly guilty and this is how he manipulates me. </div></div> He is 21 years old!!! It is time for this to stop. He is manipulating you and playing on your guilt. Tell him that he is old enough to pay for his own expenses and that you will no longer be treated like this. He will fly into a rage but you need to simply walk away. He will only stop treating you this way when you make it clear that you will simply not tolerate it any longer. I know that this advice probably hurts to hear but many of us on the PE forum have been through this. My husband and I got to the point where we had to tell our difficult child that she had to leave. We made the mistake to let her come back once but then found pot in her room and made her leave for good. It was hard but it was the best thing that we could have done. She is living on her own, working, planning to go back to school (which I will believe when I see it), but most importantly, treating us with respect and rebuilding her relationship with us. It is time to be strong. It will get easier with time. Keep posting to let us know how it goes. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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