Please say some prayers, rattle beads

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tpcmom, Oct 26, 2007.

  1. tpcmom

    tpcmom New Member

    It's beem a while since I posted, I have not much to say or help, life has been very very hard and difficult all I do is cry most of the time. With my baby killed and now my oldest facing jail time.

    We have court on the 30th and I'm pleading with you all to send some good thoughts, prayers, etc. my way that things come out as best as possible, if that really is possible. My son has many drug problems and made many mistakes but he is not a bad person, what he did was a bad thing and he needs consequences and help. I want him so badly to get help but it looks like it may jail instead. He is not doing well at all, he is grieving for his baby brother and with court he is a mess. He thinks he will die in prison, and he knows he won't be able to cry for his brother once this happens. He is a mess, I'm so afraid for him, I wish he went and got help that he really needed before this court date but he cannot seem to see past his substance abuse.

    I need all the strenght and courage to get thru this and also be there for him and for my other son who has been such a trooper, God Bless his soul. I feel like I've neglected him all these months and I always tell him how sorry I am for not being there and he always tells me yes you are mom, I know that and it's ok. What an angel he is. I pray my baby is in heaven and is watching over us too, and be there for his brother like a guardian angel thru this terrible time.

    Thank you Janet (Ant's mom) for being there for me in all this terrible mess I am in. I think you are a remarkable woman and I hope I can be as brave as you are.

    Thank you all for being here for me, even though I haven't been around I know you guys will keep me in your prayers. You are all wonderful people and I'm blessed to be able to come here and ask for special prayers and know it will happen.

  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Bette, I am sending you all my strength and sending all my positive thoughts out to your oldest son. I hope whatever happens he is safe and on the mend from his addiction.

    What a sweetie your middle son is to tell you that you are there for him. He is probably worried about you.

  3. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Sending out all the thoughts I can for you.

  4. Catwmn

    Catwmn New Member

    I don't know what your situation is because I am new here but I will be praying for you and your family. My heart breaks for you reading this....I'm so sorry....

  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sending many good thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

  6. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    You have more strength than you know. It shows in your posts, in your love for all of your boys. I hope things get resolved soon for your eldest and, more importantly, that the court considers all that has been going on and orders rehab rather than jail.

    Your middle son sounds truly amazing. For now, lean on each other.

  7. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    Bette, prayers to you from New Jersey!
  8. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Hugs and prayers from Chicago, Bette. May God's will be done.
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911


    I am so sorry to come back to the board and read all that has happened to your family. My heart and prayers go out to you all.

    Really at a loss for words for your grief.

    Many many hugs
  10. tpcmom

    tpcmom New Member

    Thank you so much, it means so much to me. It's been very hard and the pain is overwhelming sometimes. Nights I cry and cry all the time. Tonight I picked up my middle guy and my sis called on my cell when we got home he got out and I just started sobbing on the phone, with my head down, he came back into the car and put his arm around me and just layed his head on my shoulders. I cried harder. I feel so helpless. My oldest has not been doing well at all, I tried to get him to get some help but as my therapist told me he is playing the victim, and he will never get out of that victim mode until he gets the help he needs. Substance abuse is definitly a disease, his dad is an alcoholic and never there for my boys their whole life, even after his baby was murdered, he still hasn't called them to see how they are doing, if they need anything, just once he called. I know my oldest calls his pop-pop because he is older and he is afraid that he will die while he is away, it breaks his heart, he even tells me about our cat who is 12 y/o. He wants to cut a lock of his fur just in case. It's sad, he isn't a bad person, just troubled and addicted. I pray God intervenes and gets him help, he desperately needs it. I need it, I need peace, I need to grieve for my baby, I miss him so much and am not so strong to go thru this more turmoil. I have had this going before Timmy was killed and now it's just gotten so much worse, the burden has become so unbearable. I feel that all my energy is wasted and I cry for him and then I have all this other stuff to deal with I feel that I will never get better I want to get better for my two other boys because they need me, but I can't seem to because so much is going on. He was such a sweet boy, and I miss him so much and now I'm facing my oldest going away and the holidays are coming and birthdays. Timmy's b/d is New Year's Eve and my middle guy is Christmas Day. It will be double pain, double loss all at once. And if my oldest isn't there he will be devestated alone and in despair. I pray God has mercy on him really I want him to get help, he needs to go away and get help, not prison.

    Thank you for thinking of me and sending all your good wishes and prayers. We need them

  11. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Beads rattling, candles lit, prayers from Down Under, for you and yours... it IS going to be a difficult holiday time for you, just take it one day at a time, one step at a time, don't think too hard about the might-have-beens, just deal with each day. Try to arrange to be distracted on those days, surround yourself with people and activity if you can. The pain doesn't go away but it does get easier.

  12. KateM

    KateM Member

    Bette, I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.It is good you have a thearapist;I'm hoping your oldest is able to reach out for the help he needs.
  13. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    ask them for the IPP (intermediate Punishment Program) it is new in PA and for first time offenders, focusing on substance abuse.

    You are going to make it for easy child's sake, for Timmy's memory and in the hopes that Joey grows a brain.

    God bless and keep you in his tender care. May he send the right people with the best ideas to help Joey. May his angels surround you with their wings to comfort you while you sleep, and may his Holy Spirit fill you with the peace that surpasses all human understanding.
    Cousin Janet
    lol Bette and I have the same maiden last name, but are not sure if somewhere back there we are of the same lineage.
  14. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I sending good thoughts for you during this difficult time.

  15. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I won't forget prayers of support for the 30th. You can count
    on it. DDD

    PS: Are you connecting with Compassionate Friends or the other
    respected site for parents who have lost children? The net
    message board would be there for you, I think, 24/7. Hugs
  16. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I'm saying a special prayer for you and your family. Know that you'll be in my thoughts and prayers on the 30th. I'm so sorry.-Alyssa
  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Strength and peace for the 30th, for b4 the 30th, and after the 30th.
    In our city, we have drug rehab programs that kids can go into instead of jail time. It's an either/or. You cannot opt out. The rehab program is 70% effective! I wish you had one.

    I've got my fingers crossed.
  18. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Adding in more prayers.
  19. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Saying a special prayer. And I'll also be praying hard come the 30th.

  20. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Sending strength & prayers your way. It's a most difficult time for you & yours...I hope the right decision is made on behalf of your difficult child.