Please send wishes, prayers, naked chicken dances so husband agrees to send difficult child to a ...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Jul 17, 2012.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    special place in the mtns for therapy, diagnosis, and outdoor stuff. No video games! I got a call today that difficult child was accepted. They emailed me a letter to show to the judge when we go to court.
    It's expensive but it's only for 6-9 wks. They will help us determine where to send difficult child to school.
    I have already decided he will not attend the local public HS. No WAY.

    I have a call in to our accountant, to see if any of this can be deducted for medical or educational purposes, and also to our ins. company to see if they will cover it and pre-approve it.

    The detective called and said he finally filed a report and we will get a subpoena in the mail later this week. He will get the same subpoeana so he doesn't know the date or the judge; that's determined by the court.
    He is not going to pursue charges against the other kids because it's too hard to prove. GRRR.
    And the woman who pawned the stuff did it in another city, so I have to filed a police report there and start from scratch.
    The ins company does not have the rings listed separately (only my wedding ring) but we can use our regular policy. I don't know if they write us a check and we pay them back if we ever get money from the Pawn Woman so I am awaiting a return call from them, as well.

    In the meantime, difficult child's lithium is working, (to a point; he still is who is is) and I am requesting that we start him on either klonapin or buspirone, as per his testing results, that showed his anxiety to be off the chart. Well, close to off the chart. It was a big spike that went nearly to the top of the page.

    He is at computer camp right now (yaaaayyy!). It is so nice to be able to go from room to room and not have to lock doors behind me. And I've been eating wheat in plain sight. :)
    Today I am purchasing a locking fridge (easy child told me that they are sold that way for dorms), and I am looking for someone with-a truck so I can pick up a new bedroom door for easy child. The entire door frame will have to be rebuilt.

    I have to convince husband today that sending difficult child to this place is worth the money. It is not the huge amt I was thinking of for residential treatment so maybe he'll go for it. Fingers crossed!!!!:panicsmiley::future:
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2012
  2. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Your son is lucky to have such a committed Mom, you are sure doing everything you can for him, I applaud you for all your efforts for him. I'm sending all the good vibes and prayers that husband goes for it. Hugs to you too!
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you! It's easier to make plans when he's not around. It just sucks out my brains when he's here.
    Thank you for that neat adrenal burnout list. Awesome and on-target.
  4. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    If you don't have your rings "scheduled" the most they will probably pay is $2,500 (usual for policies here in CA). But I don't know if they will pay out seeing it was done by a family member living there, If you get the rings back, they sometimes take them in exchange because they have paid out. Check with your insurance agent.

    I wish I had stock in the company that sells doors - I finally replaced all of mine with solid wood ones - one punch to those seemed to have cured Danny of punching any more doors.

    Fingers crossed everything goes smoothly

  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Marcie.
    Yes, I spoke with-two of my agents and they both said the max will be either $2,500 or twice that amt, depending upon how we can configure it. They were fine with-a family member stealing it because we filed a police report and gave them the report #.
    And they know we will follow through.
    I am typing up a list of comparable items so I will spend the next cpl days doing a bit of research.
  6. TERRY - Doing a naked chicken dance for you. (I collect chickens so I'll get all of my chickens dancing for you). Sure hope husband goes for this place - it sounds great!!

    Glad the lithium is working for difficult child too.
  7. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Hugs to you and difficult child! I hope you can get your husband see the benefits of this camp. Maybe after seeing difficult children reaction to the changes you have made? That reaction will be noticed much stronger after experiencing this peaceful period.

    I hope once you find the right medications to get the anxiety under control that difficult child will find the confidence to work on being the person he wants to be. That cool person you know that is hiding within him. It will take time for him to change behaviors since they have become habits and automatic reactions. However, once he commits to doing so and with you by his side anything is possible.

    I don't know why, maybe because our kids are the same ages? But I have a special place in my heart for your difficult child. I am always rooting for him. Like almost all difficult children, I can see pass his frustrating behaviors and see a cool personality.
  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Crossing everything and doing dances with chickens for you- and we do have chickens in the yard that the landlord hasn't taken to their new place yet!

    Have you thought about how you're going to present the idea of this camp to the judge? Have you hired an attny for difficult child? I'm assuming it was a felony charge given the amount of value stolen so that requires an attny for a juvenile in VA. Although since my son's offenses weere committed against me (the person legally responsible for hiring him an attny), the judge assigned a court apptd attny to save me the dilema but also assigned a GAL, so I'm not sure the court apptd attny was worth having to deal with the GAL.
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you all. (And thank you, Andy ... I know there's got to be a good kid in there somewhere. B4 he went to camp, he said he wanted to get back to the happy little kid he was before, the one in the pictures ... )

    I had the admissions counselor from camp type a ltr to give to the judge and it has already been emailed to me.

    I have not gotten a guardian ad litem yet because we won't know the court date or the judge until I get the summons in the mail. Then, I'm right on it. Thanks for the reminder.
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Holding good thoughts!
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    husband says fine, if you can get the ins company to pay for it.
    Yeah, whatever.
    I'm moving forward, no matter what.
  12. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    keep praying and sending good vibes your way. One step at a time.
  13. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending positive vibes and juju! You're awesome!
  14. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Good on you Terry for working so hard for your son. I send you good vibes and hope it all comes out well!
  15. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    Best wishes and many prayers that you can find some awesome help for difficult child.
  16. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you, I need it. And more than that, difficult child needs it.
  17. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Pretzeling, praying, and yea, I'll give the nekkid chicken dance a try (no cameras allowed), that all goes well and works out the way you need it to.
  18. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Aaaargh! The mtn place is $6000 more than I thought! They "forgot" to tell me that there is a $3000 application fee. And I don't where the other$3000 came from.
    I have to figure out something ...
  19. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    Getting here late. Hoping so much you get that job at TJ's!! I know how determined you are to get your difficult child the help he needs. You are a true warrior mom!!

    After having sent difficult child 1 to an expensive sleep-away camp for three seasons, paid for many services over the years that insurance wouldn't cover, and having been involved in a lawsuit with the school over difficult child 2's placement, I know first hand how financially draining it can be to try to get our difficult children the help they need. It infuriates me!! It shouldn't have to be this way!! Better get off my soapbox before I really get going!!

    One word of advice although I'm sure you're already aware of this - Balance the financial needs of the rest of your family with those of your difficult child. I feel guilty that I can't give difficult child 3/easy child (she might be back in total easy child status soon!) as much financially as I gave to her brothers. Although her issues are minor compared to those of her brothers, I would have liked to have been able to help her more then I can with her college education. Not sure if I'm getting the point across that I'm trying to make. Sometimes I have trouble expressing myself in writing. Anyway, just my two cents...

    Praying that things work out for you, your difficult child... Hugs... SFR
  20. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    I truly hope it all works out ...