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PLEASE someone be online...this is LONG
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 67099"><p>You could have been describing Wynter at that age. Finally, at the age of 12, it's gotten better.</p><p></p><p>Her room would be so bad you couldn't see the carpet or even open the door all the way. And it didn't take weeks or even days to get that way; it was a matter of hours. Initially, I cleaned it myself. But after several 4 hour cleaning sessions just to have it destroyed again, I was done with that. The thing is, it becomes overwhelming. It was overwhelming for ME...there was no way she could do it all by herself. So, break it down like you did and supervise. (I didn't say it wasn't frustrating OR meltdown free...sigh...) When I was so sick before the heart attack, I just didn't have the stamina for it. Her room was disgusting. She would lose brand new clothes. The kid never had socks. And you know what, that's called natural consequences. I had a hard time coming up with any sympathy when she had a hamper in her room, I have a hamper in my room and I did the laundry. She cleaned her room a few months ago (took 14 hours) and found 24 pairs of socks. </p><p></p><p>I would take some of the stuff out of her room. I did this with my daughter at one point. If she has so much stuff that it can get so messy like that, then she has too much. Also, if she really valued it, she would take care of it and not leave it all over the place. I would make a rule of no toys outside her bedroom without permission...and then only one at a time and she has to put that away before getting another.</p><p></p><p>As far as the way she talks to you....don't engage. Completely ignore it. She's looking for a reaction and she's getting it. I also wouldn't be so inclined to do anything for her if she's bad-mouthing.</p><p></p><p>I have wondered the same things about my daughter...how did she get control of the house? My son never talked to me that way or engaged in the behaviors that she did. </p><p></p><p>(((HUGS))) It's so much harder when you're sick.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 67099"] You could have been describing Wynter at that age. Finally, at the age of 12, it's gotten better. Her room would be so bad you couldn't see the carpet or even open the door all the way. And it didn't take weeks or even days to get that way; it was a matter of hours. Initially, I cleaned it myself. But after several 4 hour cleaning sessions just to have it destroyed again, I was done with that. The thing is, it becomes overwhelming. It was overwhelming for ME...there was no way she could do it all by herself. So, break it down like you did and supervise. (I didn't say it wasn't frustrating OR meltdown free...sigh...) When I was so sick before the heart attack, I just didn't have the stamina for it. Her room was disgusting. She would lose brand new clothes. The kid never had socks. And you know what, that's called natural consequences. I had a hard time coming up with any sympathy when she had a hamper in her room, I have a hamper in my room and I did the laundry. She cleaned her room a few months ago (took 14 hours) and found 24 pairs of socks. I would take some of the stuff out of her room. I did this with my daughter at one point. If she has so much stuff that it can get so messy like that, then she has too much. Also, if she really valued it, she would take care of it and not leave it all over the place. I would make a rule of no toys outside her bedroom without permission...and then only one at a time and she has to put that away before getting another. As far as the way she talks to you....don't engage. Completely ignore it. She's looking for a reaction and she's getting it. I also wouldn't be so inclined to do anything for her if she's bad-mouthing. I have wondered the same things about my daughter...how did she get control of the house? My son never talked to me that way or engaged in the behaviors that she did. (((HUGS))) It's so much harder when you're sick. [/QUOTE]
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