I set goals. Small goals. Over and over again. I notice that sometimes
my definition of "small" goals soon become "big" as I am accomplishing them.
Personal goals and achievements are my way of showing difficult child a
healthier life, satisfying myself, and distracting me from difficult child. There
might be a day when they use my detachment methods for themselves
with their own difficult child issues.
Some of my goals are maybe redecorating a room, planning a vacation,
etcetera. But other goals are I guess rather unusual, such as how
in the world I am going to make the grumpy old cashier at the gas
station smile, or various RAOK (random acts of kindness) for various
people, or they might be hobby-like such as cooking, gardening, fish,
or whatever topic. Sometimes I really confuse myself and tell myself
that the next accomplishment, such as making someone smile,
results in the reward of another goal such as after I make ten people
smile in one day before work, then I reward myself with the goal of
preparing to purchase a new car.
Cooking involves going to the grocery store, so that: creates small
trips after I spend a whole evening, or possibly a night planning
everything. Crafts involve going to the craft store (where I might
also create the next goal after I completed the first).
I also write this stuff down in a journal. Usually, I notice that I wrote
something in there, decipherable only by myself that shows exactly
how/why the goal came to be...(usually difficult child related).
On lighter times when difficult child's issues aren't so difficult, I find I fall
asleep to visualizing new goals. For more difficult times, I might detail
a whole week of recipes that require an hour of cooking and
an hour of desert baking or whatever.
Distraction, distraction, and distraction. Doesn't matter what it is,
as long as you can stay focused on anything besides difficult child.
Best of luck.
