PMDD and Duct tape...
- Thread starter Star*
- Start date
I want a roll in that sparkly pink and purple camo pattern my husband will look so unlovely in (pink is just NOT his color). Can you have the right words printed on it in a repeating pattern?
You know, these words, "I am sorry darling. It is all my fault, I will try to NEVER do that again."
I live in happy anticipation of my much more peaceful, happy home life after the marital aide arrives.
Is there a child version? with Mommy instead of darling, and maybe even a hug printed on it?
You know, these words, "I am sorry darling. It is all my fault, I will try to NEVER do that again."
I live in happy anticipation of my much more peaceful, happy home life after the marital aide arrives.
Is there a child version? with Mommy instead of darling, and maybe even a hug printed on it?
Star*
call 911........call 911
So this morning -
I got up early - and was in the shower first. Now ladies ......follow me here for a minute. Because I may have to call Angela Lansbury......
THere are ONLY two people in the house.
THere is ONLY (at present) one bathroom.
The shower water was running. Even if he is deaf?
The ONLY door to the ONLY bathroom is LOCKED.
And yet? HE tugged, pulled and pushed and finally knocked on the door and said (ready? You may not want to read this at work)
"HONEY ARE YOU IN THERE?"
=no...........I"m outside pretending to be in the shower with the door locked.
Get out of the shower - and I"m looking for my coffee cup - you know the one I mentioned above? (SO OKAY STAR GET OVER THE PLASTIC CUP ALREADY) and I do - but sitting on the counter is my beloved mug - with a BROKEN LID.
There were NO poptarts. Okay DEAL WITH IT SISTER and **** it up....I do.
I'm about out of the door and then I hear it......"Man! I didn't hardly sleep at ALL last night."
At this point I'm sorry - I have enough whine of my own to rival the best cellars in California - and then he says "Well, I guess we have to get more poptarts tonight after you get home from work - I ate the last one yesterday. Oh and I'm really sorry I dropped that gray mug and broke the lid....(and like a 3 year old) he says "I brought the mug home." (proud of his kill I'm sure). I just smiled and nodded that "older, wiser, woman smile" (kinda like that woman who asks Steve what the box of Cheerios says) and I walked out. SO he comes after me and says "You're awfully quiet." (as opposed to what; screaming banshee?) and I said "YUP.....just lookin' for my new line of decorative tape." and then (being the helpful person he is) comes out to meet me in the driveway with a roll of his duct tape and then asks "Is this what you needed?" And when I looked I was thinking - YUP Mustang was right - Silence is Golden - DUCT TAPE IS SILVER.....Please feel free to tear me off a piece - And Call ANgela Landsbury.
Some days I SWEAR to you I'm Gods marionette. 
I got up early - and was in the shower first. Now ladies ......follow me here for a minute. Because I may have to call Angela Lansbury......
THere are ONLY two people in the house.
THere is ONLY (at present) one bathroom.
The shower water was running. Even if he is deaf?
The ONLY door to the ONLY bathroom is LOCKED.
And yet? HE tugged, pulled and pushed and finally knocked on the door and said (ready? You may not want to read this at work)
"HONEY ARE YOU IN THERE?"
=no...........I"m outside pretending to be in the shower with the door locked.
Get out of the shower - and I"m looking for my coffee cup - you know the one I mentioned above? (SO OKAY STAR GET OVER THE PLASTIC CUP ALREADY) and I do - but sitting on the counter is my beloved mug - with a BROKEN LID.
There were NO poptarts. Okay DEAL WITH IT SISTER and **** it up....I do.
I'm about out of the door and then I hear it......"Man! I didn't hardly sleep at ALL last night."
At this point I'm sorry - I have enough whine of my own to rival the best cellars in California - and then he says "Well, I guess we have to get more poptarts tonight after you get home from work - I ate the last one yesterday. Oh and I'm really sorry I dropped that gray mug and broke the lid....(and like a 3 year old) he says "I brought the mug home." (proud of his kill I'm sure). I just smiled and nodded that "older, wiser, woman smile" (kinda like that woman who asks Steve what the box of Cheerios says) and I walked out. SO he comes after me and says "You're awfully quiet." (as opposed to what; screaming banshee?) and I said "YUP.....just lookin' for my new line of decorative tape." and then (being the helpful person he is) comes out to meet me in the driveway with a roll of his duct tape and then asks "Is this what you needed?" And when I looked I was thinking - YUP Mustang was right - Silence is Golden - DUCT TAPE IS SILVER.....Please feel free to tear me off a piece - And Call ANgela Landsbury.
Some days I SWEAR to you I'm Gods marionette. 
mstang67chic
Going Green
It's a good thing I don't drink coffee in the morning.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Im gonna start printing off these threads. There is just too much hilarious material here. I think we have material for a sitcom folks. We can call it Around the Watercooler. If they can have one called Surviving Suburbia then this one will fly!
Abbey
Spork Queen
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
Starbie I nominate YOU for sainthood. Two days in a row?? Is he getting senile?? OMG!
Janet.....go for it.....I hang out here already because it's much more entertaining than most tv programming these days. lol
Abbey........yes, I had 100.00 bill stashed in my purse. I'm a money stasher. I was supposed to go for food. (that stuff husband complains there is never enough of) I thought he hadn't caught on to my new hiding place.
Evidently I have to change it again. grrrrrrrr
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
PMDD....premenstrual dysphoric disorder
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Lisa....good stash place is inside medicine bottles. Especially medicine bottles for female problems...lol.
trinityroyal
Well-Known Member
Star, you DO have the patience of a saint. I would have torn him limb from limb.
Lisa, the best stash place I've ever found for money is a neck wallet, sort of like this one.
http://www.llbean.com/webapp/wcs/st...&categoryId=31920&productId=422591&qs=3009655
(Kept my allowance safe from difficult child-brother and his friends when I was young.)
Star*
call 911........call 911
This is the fallout of Methadone use for his back pain. We're both laughing when we can because our banter as a couple has gone from chatty, interesting, educational and current to wondering seriously how many more years before we hide our own Easter eggs.
Perfect example - last night that AFV show comes on. WHY anyone would TAKE a dog on a snow covered mountian as a companion for down hill skiing is beyond my grasp. So the video starts and the dog tumbles nearly 1/2 mile tail over teakettle, down, down, down and lands in a heap. The first time I saw it I was horrified. HORRIFIED and angry at the idiot who took the dog. We both were just sickened by it.
Last night I'm flipping through channels and it's on again - same dog, same stupid owner, same snowy mountain - and I tried to quickly flick through and DF says "WEll if you didn't want to see what happened to that dog you should have just changed the channel!" I sat there blinking in though, and said "We saw that LAST WEEK - same video same everything and luckily the dog was okay, but WHY would you want to see it again?" and he shoots back "NO I DID NOT I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT VIDEO BEFORE." so I remind him of the video, the night of the week, what we were eating for dinner....and its' a total blur.....gone....from his mind. LIke so many things. Then I said "Would I LIE to you about it?" "No." "Well WHY would you want to watch it again??" and he looked at me with his tongue in his cheek and those little slits of crystal blue eyes and with that smirky face he says "Well if I don't remember it - it WOULDN"T be like watching it again, now would it?" AHHHHHHH the great debator.
The Doctor said he can't give him GABAPENTIN - but offered him Morphine. Oh JOY - less conversation and even MORE sleep. FUN!!!! Somedays I think it's the laughter that gets us through.
Perfect example - last night that AFV show comes on. WHY anyone would TAKE a dog on a snow covered mountian as a companion for down hill skiing is beyond my grasp. So the video starts and the dog tumbles nearly 1/2 mile tail over teakettle, down, down, down and lands in a heap. The first time I saw it I was horrified. HORRIFIED and angry at the idiot who took the dog. We both were just sickened by it.
Last night I'm flipping through channels and it's on again - same dog, same stupid owner, same snowy mountain - and I tried to quickly flick through and DF says "WEll if you didn't want to see what happened to that dog you should have just changed the channel!" I sat there blinking in though, and said "We saw that LAST WEEK - same video same everything and luckily the dog was okay, but WHY would you want to see it again?" and he shoots back "NO I DID NOT I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT VIDEO BEFORE." so I remind him of the video, the night of the week, what we were eating for dinner....and its' a total blur.....gone....from his mind. LIke so many things. Then I said "Would I LIE to you about it?" "No." "Well WHY would you want to watch it again??" and he looked at me with his tongue in his cheek and those little slits of crystal blue eyes and with that smirky face he says "Well if I don't remember it - it WOULDN"T be like watching it again, now would it?" AHHHHHHH the great debator.
The Doctor said he can't give him GABAPENTIN - but offered him Morphine. Oh JOY - less conversation and even MORE sleep. FUN!!!! Somedays I think it's the laughter that gets us through.
mstang67chic
Going Green
Methadone huh? I bet THAT'S why my mom calls me three times a day to tell me the same thing each time. 
I'm not sure about the morphine either for Df. My stepdad is/was on it for his prostate issues post radiation and it's been quite the trip. (pun intended) At the height of it, Mom didn't dare leave him for more than an hour tops and would have to hide his cigs and lighters so he wouldn't set himself on fire. He was like a serial sleepwalker even when he didn't get up. You could almost tell what he was dreaming about by his hand motions. Apparently, he hung a lot of clothes on the line in his sleep. Granted, his dose was inordinately high....so high in fact that the prescribing doctor told them to take the bottles to other appointments so the other staff would believe what his dose was. But then again, each person is different. I can get slightly loopy on Advil but when I was given a shot of Morphine? Made my arm warm for a minute or two but didn't touch the pain they gave it to me for.
I'm not sure about the morphine either for Df. My stepdad is/was on it for his prostate issues post radiation and it's been quite the trip. (pun intended) At the height of it, Mom didn't dare leave him for more than an hour tops and would have to hide his cigs and lighters so he wouldn't set himself on fire. He was like a serial sleepwalker even when he didn't get up. You could almost tell what he was dreaming about by his hand motions. Apparently, he hung a lot of clothes on the line in his sleep. Granted, his dose was inordinately high....so high in fact that the prescribing doctor told them to take the bottles to other appointments so the other staff would believe what his dose was. But then again, each person is different. I can get slightly loopy on Advil but when I was given a shot of Morphine? Made my arm warm for a minute or two but didn't touch the pain they gave it to me for.
mrscatinthehat
Seussical
for two days now I have read this. For two days I shake my head as I think of all the things I can relate to with the coffee cup and morning routines. Sigh. What can ya do with em.
beth
beth
KTMom91
Well-Known Member
Glad you found a matching lid...hoping the pop tarts show up soon.
Miss KT was reading over my shoulder, and got all fired up, wanting to know when it was going to ship. I asked her when what was going to ship..."The duct tape, Mom! Your friend Star must be so cool to make such awesome duct tape, and I'm going to totally redo the ceiling of my car with it. Nobody else has such cool stuff!"
Miss KT was reading over my shoulder, and got all fired up, wanting to know when it was going to ship. I asked her when what was going to ship..."The duct tape, Mom! Your friend Star must be so cool to make such awesome duct tape, and I'm going to totally redo the ceiling of my car with it. Nobody else has such cool stuff!"
Star*
call 911........call 911
Step22 -
You know, I hadn't thought of that - lol.....poor dear. I guess some of me is quirkier than others. (I KNOW hard to believe). but what a thought. thanks - I get so humbled by thinking like that - maybe he DID by another cup. lol
KT - tell baby girl I have an even cooler project for her headliner - we saw this and it's awesome - you take a photo, scan it and then it is put ON to the head liner - I have no idea how much it costs - but we're working on it. and yes, (ahem) buffing nails on chest.....I am a cool friend...lol ROFLMCool off. Had to wait until I was 44 to be cool to a teenager....lol
You know, I hadn't thought of that - lol.....poor dear. I guess some of me is quirkier than others. (I KNOW hard to believe). but what a thought. thanks - I get so humbled by thinking like that - maybe he DID by another cup. lol
KT - tell baby girl I have an even cooler project for her headliner - we saw this and it's awesome - you take a photo, scan it and then it is put ON to the head liner - I have no idea how much it costs - but we're working on it. and yes, (ahem) buffing nails on chest.....I am a cool friend...lol ROFLMCool off. Had to wait until I was 44 to be cool to a teenager....lol
