I also strongly encourage you to be open and honest with the judge. Especially if your son has ever been violent with you or damaged property at home, or if you reported things to the cops and were told they could do nothing about it because he was your son. Go ahead and tell the judge about it. Let the judge know that these things happen over and over, not once or once in a while. If something happens each weekend, say that it is something that you deal with at home every weekend.
I know how hard it is to stand before a judge and tell them the awful things your child has done. Just like you, I never wanted to do it. Like you, I did it to try to save my child, to get some help. I can tell you that it is completely overwhelming. It is much worse if you don't have support. My parents were extremely unhappy that I brought this before a judge. So I know how hard it is if you don't have any support. This board was here for me, and will be here for you. KNOW, in your bones, that we are right there with you. We are standing up with you and lending you our strength as you do this incredibly difficult thing.
If your son goes home from court and damages your property or threatens you or hurts you, call 911. I know you don't want him to have a record, and you don't want him to be in trouble. But he has to learn that he cannot act out when he is called to account for his behavior. This is against the law, and he has to pay a price for that. You have every right to feel safe in your home and if he acts out when the cops come, let them take him.
As a suggestion, don't pay his fines for him. Make him do community service to work them off. If he refuses to do the hours of service, let him deal with the court. Don't give in and pay to make it easy on your kid. You didn't fight and get the ticket. You know how to behave yourself. Your son NEEDS to feel these consequences. If they keep him from doing something he wants to do, well, that is his lesson to learn, isn't it.
