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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 725645" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I am 64. If this were my late 20's to 40 something kid, I would not join the "party." I enjoy living, not dying from stress when our totally inconsiderate adult kids forget we aren't spring chickens who will live forever and try dragging us into their drama. I am done pretending I can do this stuff.</p><p></p><p>By personal advice is I would stay away. Even if she throws a toddler tantrum. Dont listen to crying and abuse. She is a grown adult and responsible for herself without your running for her or buying her anything or spending your retirement money once again. She sure won't be there for help and comfort if you spend all your money on her.</p><p></p><p>Like me, you are too old to take on babies so be peaceful that the kids are safe somewhere and enjoy your retirement and know that your daughter will quit or not (her track record is not good) and it will depend on her, not anything you do or don't do. You can't influence this.</p><p></p><p>Why on earth did you get frightened out of sleep at 2am? It couldn't have waited until morning to do this? Beware that she may only be going through the motions to get something from you, such as money or housing. I would offer neither. </p><p></p><p>by the way, I buy cigarettes for NOBODY. Not an emergency. They have hospital gowns for those without street clothes. Don't run!</p><p></p><p>At our ages it is time to relax and travel, revisit hobbies, read, ,visit kind family and friends, exercise and fortify our marriages. Our adults need to learn to be strong and smart. Or not. It is way beyond our responsibility or ability to help thrm anymore.You have done it all for her. Time for her to do it alone. You can not live forever. Then what?</p><p></p><p>You don't have to keep your phone's on or answer her calls/texts. Just some thoughts. Think of yourselves first. You earned this.</p><p></p><p>Love and hugs!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 725645, member: 1550"] I am 64. If this were my late 20's to 40 something kid, I would not join the "party." I enjoy living, not dying from stress when our totally inconsiderate adult kids forget we aren't spring chickens who will live forever and try dragging us into their drama. I am done pretending I can do this stuff. By personal advice is I would stay away. Even if she throws a toddler tantrum. Dont listen to crying and abuse. She is a grown adult and responsible for herself without your running for her or buying her anything or spending your retirement money once again. She sure won't be there for help and comfort if you spend all your money on her. Like me, you are too old to take on babies so be peaceful that the kids are safe somewhere and enjoy your retirement and know that your daughter will quit or not (her track record is not good) and it will depend on her, not anything you do or don't do. You can't influence this. Why on earth did you get frightened out of sleep at 2am? It couldn't have waited until morning to do this? Beware that she may only be going through the motions to get something from you, such as money or housing. I would offer neither. by the way, I buy cigarettes for NOBODY. Not an emergency. They have hospital gowns for those without street clothes. Don't run! At our ages it is time to relax and travel, revisit hobbies, read, ,visit kind family and friends, exercise and fortify our marriages. Our adults need to learn to be strong and smart. Or not. It is way beyond our responsibility or ability to help thrm anymore.You have done it all for her. Time for her to do it alone. You can not live forever. Then what? You don't have to keep your phone's on or answer her calls/texts. Just some thoughts. Think of yourselves first. You earned this. Love and hugs! [/QUOTE]
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