POLICE

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by pasajes4, Oct 4, 2017.

  1. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    My son tried to break into my house this morning. He broke the door frame and the door cannot be closed and locked. I am so sick of all of this garbage.
     
  2. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Oh no. I'm so sorry!

    How scary that must have been for you.

    Did you call the police? Where is he now?
     
  3. so ready to live

    so ready to live Active Member

    Pasa-I'm so sorry for this stress. Continue to keep him accountable-he needs to know that trying to break into your house is the same as trying to break into someone else's-a crime. Here's hope that he will learn that before he tries it somewhere else...My heart goes out to you, many times I don't feel safe in my home, it's the worst thing isn't it? We're here, keep posting. Prayers.
     
  4. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Yes, the police came and I am filing criminal mischief charges. He had made up his mind that I said he could come home. What I had said was "What would be different if I did let him come home. That it would take a lot of proof on his end that he was doing what needed to be doing and not just saying he was going to do those things. He apparently made 1 phone call spoke tp someone, but did not set up an appointment. Can you say half hearted attempt and gas lighting.
     
  5. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    So Ready, I do not feel safe in my own home. My grandson does not feel safe.
     
  6. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Even if you had allowed him to come home but didn't trust him enough to give him a key, that doesn't give him the right to kick in the door or break a window to get in.
     
  7. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    i am sorry pasa.
     
  8. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Pasa, I'm so sorry.

    Do whatever is necessary to protect yourself.

    Sending hugs.....and warm wishes for your peace of mind to return......
     
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, Pasa. Many hugs.
     
  10. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Again this is enough! Passa I am so very sorry for you and your Grandson. How frightening. My nerves are jangled when my cell phone rings, I can not imagine how you feel.
    A huge hug to you.

    :staystrong::notalone:
     
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  11. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    This all started when I did not take his many calls the day before. I was with my mother and did not feel like engaging in another round 0f his endless badgering. He went to the house on Tuesday and was in the back yard. He sent a text saying he needed to go the hospital. I called 911 and told them where he was and that he was either hurt, sick, or having a mental episode. They sent an officer to evaluate the situation. They did take him by ambulance to be evaluated. He then sent a barage of emails cursing me out for calling the police instead of rushing home to take care of him myself. He was apparently not that sick. He was released from the hospital and came straight to my house and had the strength to break down the door while screaming " You are going to pay for this you fing B." He left when he heard me call the police.

    He has lost two living situations in the last 5 months due to his behavior. The first one ended when he put his hands on his girlfriend. He was charged with domestic violence. The second one ended when he did not pay his share of expenses and snuck another person into their house and things came up missing.

    This does not seem to be a person willing to live by the rules of anyones house. I hate that he is homeless, but not enough that I want to live with someone who uses threats of violence to get their way.
     
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  12. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Passa
    You have the right to a peaceful and safe home. The chaos from your sons addiction and lack of care for his health issues will follow him wherever he goes until he chooses to seek help.

    Stay safe and take care of yourself. We hurt when we make the right choices becossue we live our children. Doing what's right is not always what's easy.
     
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  13. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Pasa

    How scary that he is saying that to you. No way would I want him near me until he is sober and sane.

    I have really detached from my own son and I hate that I had to do that but it helps me to live my life without a constant pain in my gut.

    We are only human and can only take so much.

    Keep us posted.
     
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  14. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The endless cycle of addiction and mental illness. I'm so sorry.

    Our kids have no idea of the way we suffer, how our hearts hurt, how much pain their behavior causes us. And, how much they can scare us, with their threats and behavior....and even more scary......how they live.

    I hope you and your grandson can put these episodes behind you and find peace. Sending prayers for your family, including your son......hugs....
     
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  15. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Oh Pasa! I'm so sorry you are going through this. With all we went thru, I was never afraid of our son. My heart breaks for you knowing that you are in this position. Be kind to yourself and stand strong. You aren't alone. We're all here for you.
     
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  16. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Pasa, I am so, so sorry you are having to deal with this. My goodness, you have had enough!!

    It's good that you called the police. I know what it's like to feel afraid of your own son and it's such an awful feeling. Do you think getting a restraining order would help? It may not keep him from coming to your house but it would give the police more reason to hold him.

    If it were me I might even consider moving. We should never have to feel unsafe in our own homes. My heart is breaking for you.

    I'm sending you love, hugs and positive energy!! Be good to yourself Pasa.
     
  17. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Tanya, I have considered moving many times. I should not even have to think this way. I worked hard to pay off the mortgage and just spent a fortune to update and remodel. I'm also too old to take on another mortgage.
    I am weighing my options. If I could rent out my house to someone I know that would take care of it, I would move in a heartbeat.
     
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  18. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Let's hope that your son will grow tired of trying to get you to help him.

    Again, I'm so sorry you are going through this. It is my hope and prayer that you will be able to find peace in your home, that you will once again feel safe and secure there.

    :group-hug::group-hug::group-hug::group-hug::group-hug::group-hug:
     
  19. Sam3

    Sam3 Active Member

    I'm joining in the group hug. This is awful. In so many of these episodes, these guys sound like abusive boyfriends -- but to their mothers!
     
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  20. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Sam, Funny you should say that. My therapist assumed that I wanted to discuss my abusive husband/boyfrend relationship. When I informed her it was my adult son, her head did a little bobble while she was doing her best to not show any reaction.