Poll: How to respond to ignorance?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Whatsername, Apr 29, 2009.

  1. Whatsername

    Whatsername New Member

    Let's start a poll. I'd like to gather as many responses as possible in relation to people who don't understand the special challenges our difficult children face each day.
    I'm sure you've all been asked why you can't control your kid. You've probably had to deal with parents of other children who refuse to let your kid play with theirs, etc.
    I also know that I'm not the only one out there that gets frustrated with how to respond to or answer questions. Maybe if we all gather our best responses, it can be a great help to everyone!!

    Thanks for participating!
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    It really depends on the other person's motivation. Some people need to be put in their place, others need to be educated and some need to be thanked for their concern. It's really not a one-size-fits-all sort of thing.
  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    (For the truly caring). Thank you for your concern. It would help a lot if right now you could (insert appropriate request eg. turn off the lights, move the other children to a different room, etc)

    (For the confused) Thank you for caring, my son has autism and today is not a good day.

    (For the obnoxious) Get the &$^%& out of my way.
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    It depends.

    If the person wants to understand, I tell them like it is, in small increments.

    If the person truly doesn't, I tell them where to go.

    If the person is on the fence, generally, I will give them a tidbit and see how they respond. If they retort with "well I don't think that's what's wrong with your kid at all" type thing, I remind them that I didn't ask them and then I tell them where to go.
  5. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    As the others have said, it depends.
    Typically, I just don`t entertain the conversation. I see no reason to justify myself to others for anything I do, including raising my children.

    If someone is genuinely trying to be helpful, I give them a concrete request that they can fulfill. "Can you please take this shopping cart while I get him into the car?"

    Otherwise, I just don`t give them the time of day.

  6. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    A lot is said with the eyes. Sometimes people don't say anything - but I'll get that "look" from them. They don't have to say a word - it's all in how they are looking at you. I simply reply with a face that is saying exactly what I am screaming in my head at that moment. (At least that's what I did last time when difficult child informed me loudly in the doctor's office waiting room, with about 7 other patients, that she is now dating a 19 year old girl who is moving here from New Mexico!) You should have seen the looks I had to combat all at once like Ninja! I now have a face for each moment, except for those people that are downright idiots - than I am screaming outside my head. I agree - it really depends on the situation.
  7. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    I think God punished me because I used to be one of those people. Come to think of it, THAT'S a good response!