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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 631061" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>dtsc_, I see your problem with your difficult child is that you make rules, then give her a lot of leeway and often give up. I think (JMO) that she has way more privileges than she should considering she doesn't work, and her dad doesn't help any. Again, don't take offense. This is all just my own opinion...take what you find useful and leave the rest.</p><p></p><p>At her age, why does she have access to a car for fun without paying you for the gas and insurance? She has no job? In my house, she'd also have no fun. She'd have to get a job or sit at home being bored and whining and tantrumming and threatening would go in one ear and out the other or I'd take a jog down the street or a drive to the store, but I am pretty good about not giving in or listening to my kids disrespect me. She'd be on alert too...keep it up and I don't care where you live, but it won't be here, and I won't give anyone money to take care of you. I wouldn't have paid my parents a dime...if they wanted to house her, their decision/their issue. Again, remember, we all think differently.</p><p></p><p>This is just my opinion. I think you let her get away with way too much mouthing off and doing very little that is productive. Now I was like that once too and I wish I had cracked down on 36 way before he turned 36. However, even 36 had a job. No job, no money. I never did feel too sorry for lazy kids, even my own, who whined that I was mean for not giving them money. I wanted them all to have good work ethics. and although I'm quite sure 36 would rob banks if he thought he could, he's afraid of jail so he does have a good job, pays the mortgage, and does pay his bills, although not always wisely. He knows MY bank is dry. He often hits my rich ex for money, but that is between them. As long as he leaves me alone and I can keep my serenity intact, I'm good with whatever ex decides to do. I refuse to listen to either ex or 36 talking about it though. I just say it's none of my business. Sometimes ex wants to talk to me and complain about giving out money and I just tell him that it isn't something I should hear or that should be shared with me. And when 36 complains that his father is mean about giving him money and that he has to put up with verbal abuse to get it, I just say the same thing and stay out of it. If he persists I say, "Then don't ask him for money." And COM"s wonderful ending conversation statement, "Now this conversation is over." And it is or I will hang up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 631061, member: 1550"] dtsc_, I see your problem with your difficult child is that you make rules, then give her a lot of leeway and often give up. I think (JMO) that she has way more privileges than she should considering she doesn't work, and her dad doesn't help any. Again, don't take offense. This is all just my own opinion...take what you find useful and leave the rest. At her age, why does she have access to a car for fun without paying you for the gas and insurance? She has no job? In my house, she'd also have no fun. She'd have to get a job or sit at home being bored and whining and tantrumming and threatening would go in one ear and out the other or I'd take a jog down the street or a drive to the store, but I am pretty good about not giving in or listening to my kids disrespect me. She'd be on alert too...keep it up and I don't care where you live, but it won't be here, and I won't give anyone money to take care of you. I wouldn't have paid my parents a dime...if they wanted to house her, their decision/their issue. Again, remember, we all think differently. This is just my opinion. I think you let her get away with way too much mouthing off and doing very little that is productive. Now I was like that once too and I wish I had cracked down on 36 way before he turned 36. However, even 36 had a job. No job, no money. I never did feel too sorry for lazy kids, even my own, who whined that I was mean for not giving them money. I wanted them all to have good work ethics. and although I'm quite sure 36 would rob banks if he thought he could, he's afraid of jail so he does have a good job, pays the mortgage, and does pay his bills, although not always wisely. He knows MY bank is dry. He often hits my rich ex for money, but that is between them. As long as he leaves me alone and I can keep my serenity intact, I'm good with whatever ex decides to do. I refuse to listen to either ex or 36 talking about it though. I just say it's none of my business. Sometimes ex wants to talk to me and complain about giving out money and I just tell him that it isn't something I should hear or that should be shared with me. And when 36 complains that his father is mean about giving him money and that he has to put up with verbal abuse to get it, I just say the same thing and stay out of it. If he persists I say, "Then don't ask him for money." And COM"s wonderful ending conversation statement, "Now this conversation is over." And it is or I will hang up. [/QUOTE]
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