Poor K

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by totoro, Apr 18, 2009.

  1. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    We had the Orienteering Race today. Just her and I.

    For those of you that don't know, Orienteering it a race against yourself of others, timed, using a compass and map.
    You find set spots that have tags or markers that punch your card with and then race to the next location.

    It can be very challenging.
    They have decoys set up so you can't "see" one and go back and mark your card.

    You use a compass and distance etc.

    This was through her School and was also supporting a family whose children had been killed during a rock climbing accident.

    So we go there and we were having such a good time. She was struggling a bit, but it was her first time.
    The Principal was there and had done it.

    About halfway through K says to me, "I think I pooped my pants".

    The poor kid was just heart broken. I had to take her around the corner and check, she was just confused and knew she did but wanted me to check.

    She knew we had to leave, but wanted to avoid people.
    I saw the Principal and we went up to her and I told her that K's medications were making her feels not so good and could she turn in our sheet?

    She hugged K, (so I am sure she knew what was up).
    Principal Y came running out and gave K the bracelet that said she finished race! :D

    She was just so sad.

    The thing is, K has been having issues with wiping, she won't wipe her butt. Her underpants have been a mess. I had to throw out a pair the other day.
    I just hope this is not all leading up to her having bowel issues in general.
    She hates telling us if she goes poop, because I ask if she has wiped well.
    Only because she gets bad rashes and then she comes to me crying with blisters on her bottom.
    We have had the talks about hygiene etc.
    I have Kandoos and the wet wipes in every bathroom.
    She told husband the other day that she only wipes the side of her butt.

    She is going to be 8 in 2 months and I would hate for this to become a issue especially at school.
    She is already talking about how she feels fat.

    Any ideas?
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I wish I had an answer for you. Poor kid. Hugs.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Have you asked K what would help? Maybe problem solving togehter would help the situation.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hugs for poor K. I do think the principals handled things really well and so did you.
  5. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I would be concerned that K is starting to develop encopresis... is it possible that one of her medications may be adding to the problem?

    Duckie was a candidate for encopresis when she was two - three years old. She developed fissures and began holding her stool... she would often go a few days between bms and finally pass it. It would hurt and she would hold it again. We finally put her on lactulose for several months, this kept her stool soft enough to easily pass. We also made her take potty time everyday and she eventually started having more normal habits.

    I would talk to her pediatrician and possibly have her evaluated by a gastroenterologist. In addition, make sure her teacher and the nurse are aware of what's going on. You can bring a change of clothes and extra panties to the nurse's office in case of accidents.

    {{{Hugs}}} I can imagine just how upsetting this is to you.
  6. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Thanks ladies

    We talk a lot about it. I am hoping the pooping was just a one time thing, fingers crossed.
    But, I had just mentioned to husband the other day that I was afraid K's fears of touching her butt and wiping might lead to issues such as holding her BM's.

    She says that she just does not like wiping, it is gross, she doesn't like touching her bottom.

    I am going to wait a bit before I get too worried. We have a psychiatrist apt on Wednesday so I will bring this up.
    As far as her medications, I don't think they would be affecting her. She is still only on Abilify and it has not changed. Her PRN is the same and I actually have not given it to her in awhile.
    Who knows? I am just trying to always be aware...
  7. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Hi Totoro--

    My son went through this at about the same age. Just refused to wipe. Period.

    Then he would try to explain away the smell and the condition of his underwear...

    I did not make a big deal out of it....I just said that if he was not going to wipe himself, it was really unfair to make me (his poor mother) have to touch that nasty underwear. I made him wash the "waste" out of it before he put it in the laundry basket to be washed in the machine.

    First time he had to do that, he was horrified! He didn't want to touch it. He didn't want to deal with it. He was crying and upset.

    BUT--he quickly decided that it was better to wipe than to wash underpants all the time.

    That's what worked for us...

    Not sure if the same thing would apply to K.

    Good luck!

  8. Jena

    Jena New Member


    I'm so sorry poor baby, give her a hug for me!

    I go through this regarding urine alot with difficult child. This is going to sound odd what i'm giong to say and maybe a bit off. I got to the point where i had to take the focus off of it because she was just so incredibly distraught and she still is. her urinating problem stops her from hoping to ever have a sleepover that is if anyone ever even invited her which they haven't.

    i got pull ups, i popped them on her when she was home. i hated doing it with-her being 8 and all. she was at the time, now she's 10. by me putting the pull ups on her she was able Occupational Therapist (OT) just take them off and handle it herself throw them out and change them herself.

    i get the poop is an issue if she simply wont' wipe it. yet what would happen if you didnt' wipe it? just bare with me here, i had to totally ignore this with difficult child at one piont because it got to the point i didnt' know what to do anymore she was covered in pee all the time.

    not saying this would work, yet by me removing the focus off the problem she troubleshooted it herself. now things are getting better, yet when her anxiety is peekign it happens again. granted i agree with-others regarding checking out if the medication has anything to do with it also. which very likely may be.

    what if you did a reward every 3 days i've been diong that with difficult child and seems to be working. whereas if every 3 days or 2 depending on how long you think she can last if she handles it herself you reward her with something. you guys come up with a list of rewards (within range lol) like with difficult child we do a bagel every friday a.m.

    just a thought.

    so sorry your going through this and k.
  9. ML

    ML Guest

    Not proud to admit this but I wiped manster's butt till he was about 7/8. *ducking*. Also, he only recently became comfortable sleeping alone in his room. Some of our kids just take a little longer to mature in certain areas. I hope K had a good time despite the ending (no pun intended). Love, ML
  10. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Tigger is 10 and he still sometimes needs help. Piglet still struggles to wipe correctly but she has gotten too old to want help.

    I hope you are able to find a solution.
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2009
  11. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I still have to help wee difficult child. He tries, but can't do it.

    Its always "you try, then I'll come help" just so he gets in the habit of doing it himself. Sometimes he can, then its lots of kudos. Other times, he needs the help, and we treat it just as a fact of life.

    Sorry you're dealign with this, too. Ugh.
  12. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    We had the same problem for a while with difficult child 2. In fact it got so bad that there were "presents" in the laundry. I used the "wash it yourself" method with him. Twice, and then at least the "presents" disappeared - but not the smears.

    husband finally got out of him that it hurt. We narrowed it down to toilet paper... He likes the stuff I buy (cheap stuff, too - Angel Soft) but apparently biomom likes Scott (which to me feels like tinfoil, so I understand there). She was having him treated for encopresis, but we worked out with him that if it was THAT kind of toilet paper, to use Kleenex.

    We immediately (no joke) stopped having problems except when he was at his mother's; that night would be yucky. Then that stopped too, and when husband was telling him how much better I felt about the laundry he told us that he was using the Kleenex.

    I wonder how many boxes of Kleenex they go through in a month... 'Cause difficult child 1 doesn't like tinfoil on the bum either.
  13. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Thanks for all of the "stories" LOL
    I love knowing we are not alone!

    We don't wipe her. I only have to "help" her once the rash has set in, and that is because she doesn't wipe or she only wipes he cheeks. And even with that I have been teaching her how to use the eucerin/rash ointment herself.
    We also buy the softest stuff we can.
    We did the wash out your unders when she was younger and she could have cared less.
    i don't think I would do that to her again because she has so much anxiety and such a poor self image.
    She is lying to us about pooping because she doesn't want us to ask if she wiped or if she wiped well.
    We tried backing off and that is when the rashes occur. Or that is when her unders are really bad.
    She doesn't poop her pants, this weekend was the only time. So I don't think it is the medication.
    I am just afraid she is just developing issues regarding her body and hygiene.
    The other thing that freaks us out is the fact that we tend to be early bloomers in our family... I started my period at 9. :(
    That gives me a year to help her learn about her body and how to deal with this concept, if heaven forbid she did start her period.

    I can't even think about that possibility, but it could very well happen and I have to be prepared.
    She is not prepared in any way to deal with this at all, emotionally or physically.
    I feel sick just thinking about it...

    We are going to do the rewards, I have never been a bribery kind of person, but if I can tick this issues off of my list, so be it!