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Parent Emeritus
Possible Borderline (BPD)
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<blockquote data-quote="carefree" data-source="post: 702381" data-attributes="member: 21004"><p>So can I please ask for more advice? You all have been so helpful. After my previous above mentioned conversation with my daughter, I decided after advice on here, much thinking, prayer and council, to write my daughter a letter. In it I wrote complimentary things, and I also put a much needed boundary of sorts up: I stated that she can feel free to talk to me as long as the discussion stayed respectful and calm. If not, we would have to end the conversation and try again at a later time. I also told her in the letter that if she limits contact with me or de-friends me on social media, that is her decision and that I would respect it (not chase her like she apparently expects me to). I also did not apologize for any generalized parenting mistakes like I usually do because she hadn't mentioned any to me. (Our previous phone call ended badly, and she specifically said, 'Don't text me unless you're going to call me to apologize.' (For what I don't know.)) She may or may not have received my letter as I haven't yet heard from her. Here is the current situation, we are making a 6 hour road trip with my children to Disneyland, including her, on 11/16. I'm concerned because not only do I not know where we stand, but I've just put up this boundary about not letting her verbally pummel me that I'm not sure I can uphold in the van. I'm concerned she will try to have a discussion or argument with me, and I could use some practical advice, in case of a worse case scenario. I'm anxiety ridden. Thank you all for the help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="carefree, post: 702381, member: 21004"] So can I please ask for more advice? You all have been so helpful. After my previous above mentioned conversation with my daughter, I decided after advice on here, much thinking, prayer and council, to write my daughter a letter. In it I wrote complimentary things, and I also put a much needed boundary of sorts up: I stated that she can feel free to talk to me as long as the discussion stayed respectful and calm. If not, we would have to end the conversation and try again at a later time. I also told her in the letter that if she limits contact with me or de-friends me on social media, that is her decision and that I would respect it (not chase her like she apparently expects me to). I also did not apologize for any generalized parenting mistakes like I usually do because she hadn't mentioned any to me. (Our previous phone call ended badly, and she specifically said, 'Don't text me unless you're going to call me to apologize.' (For what I don't know.)) She may or may not have received my letter as I haven't yet heard from her. Here is the current situation, we are making a 6 hour road trip with my children to Disneyland, including her, on 11/16. I'm concerned because not only do I not know where we stand, but I've just put up this boundary about not letting her verbally pummel me that I'm not sure I can uphold in the van. I'm concerned she will try to have a discussion or argument with me, and I could use some practical advice, in case of a worse case scenario. I'm anxiety ridden. Thank you all for the help. [/QUOTE]
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