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Parent Emeritus
Possible Borderline (BPD)
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 702382" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>if she is borderline, and she does have traits, she probably will use the car as a place to be unpleasant because you are trapped. I'd be leery of bringing her with because of you needing to be calm and her siblings needing to be able to enjoy the trip. Are they young?</p><p></p><p>Can she drive herself and stay in her own room? if not, you have to do what you feel is right, but expect her to be herself. She is incapable of changing for the trip. Borderline us borderline. it doesnt go away without years of intensive help and the will for the person to change.</p><p></p><p>if you feel guilty not bringing her, bring her, but do so with wide open eyes. You can always drive her to a bus station and send her home if she is abusive. Tell her in advance. Yes, she will be angry, but she cant ruin your vacation.</p><p></p><p>Most of our kids (I know mine did) laugh at our letters or twist what is in them and hold them against us. Or they don't even read them. I always advise against committing anything to paper but thats jmo. To stay sane with a borderline, consistency and firmness are mandatory. They eat weakness or timidity alive. They smell it a mile away. Without treatment they are manipulative, abusive and can spoil any event. You just never know. its always a risk.</p><p></p><p>Sorry she is putting you through all this nonsense. You may want to ask the same question on borderline central since everyone there is familar with the disorder and the game. Hugs to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 702382, member: 1550"] if she is borderline, and she does have traits, she probably will use the car as a place to be unpleasant because you are trapped. I'd be leery of bringing her with because of you needing to be calm and her siblings needing to be able to enjoy the trip. Are they young? Can she drive herself and stay in her own room? if not, you have to do what you feel is right, but expect her to be herself. She is incapable of changing for the trip. Borderline us borderline. it doesnt go away without years of intensive help and the will for the person to change. if you feel guilty not bringing her, bring her, but do so with wide open eyes. You can always drive her to a bus station and send her home if she is abusive. Tell her in advance. Yes, she will be angry, but she cant ruin your vacation. Most of our kids (I know mine did) laugh at our letters or twist what is in them and hold them against us. Or they don't even read them. I always advise against committing anything to paper but thats jmo. To stay sane with a borderline, consistency and firmness are mandatory. They eat weakness or timidity alive. They smell it a mile away. Without treatment they are manipulative, abusive and can spoil any event. You just never know. its always a risk. Sorry she is putting you through all this nonsense. You may want to ask the same question on borderline central since everyone there is familar with the disorder and the game. Hugs to you. [/QUOTE]
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