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Possible Borderline (BPD)
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 702383" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I agree with SWOT. </p><p></p><p>If you do decide to bring her, it may be prudent to practice the art of refraining....DO NOT ENGAGE. Find a phrase you can offer no matter what she says, something that will keep you as detached as you can be on a 6 hour drive with a young woman who may be Borderline. "yes honey, thanks for sharing, isn't the scenery beautiful?".....or just "thanks for sharing" and move on......</p><p></p><p>A counselor once told me, "when you engage with crazy people, you too become crazy." Excuse the judgmental word crazy, it was the way it was expressed to me.....but you get the drift. It made a lot of sense to me since I grew up with much mental illness and I was at a point where I could finally see that quote as being true. Remember that your daughter is living in a skewered reality, it is NOT your reality.......and you do not have to convince her of the true nature of reality.......let it go.....whatever she says, let it go. </p><p></p><p>If she becomes abusive, tell her you'll drop her off at the nearest police station and she can find her way home. (that's a bit tongue in cheek......) Don't let her abuse you. Perhaps think of a consequence you can live with before the trip and let her know that if she pulls anything that is disrespectful or abusive, you will ...???.....take her to the nearest bus station and buy her a ticket back.......but if you say that, <u>you have to keep your word and follow through</u>.</p><p></p><p>Be present with boundaries.....don't engage.......practice deep breathing.......bring along peaceful music or fun games you can play with your other kids if they are young.....bring your "tool box" (the resources that work for you)......put the serenity prayer on the dashboard.......prepare yourself as best you can.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there......we're here for you....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 702383, member: 13542"] I agree with SWOT. If you do decide to bring her, it may be prudent to practice the art of refraining....DO NOT ENGAGE. Find a phrase you can offer no matter what she says, something that will keep you as detached as you can be on a 6 hour drive with a young woman who may be Borderline. "yes honey, thanks for sharing, isn't the scenery beautiful?".....or just "thanks for sharing" and move on...... A counselor once told me, "when you engage with crazy people, you too become crazy." Excuse the judgmental word crazy, it was the way it was expressed to me.....but you get the drift. It made a lot of sense to me since I grew up with much mental illness and I was at a point where I could finally see that quote as being true. Remember that your daughter is living in a skewered reality, it is NOT your reality.......and you do not have to convince her of the true nature of reality.......let it go.....whatever she says, let it go. If she becomes abusive, tell her you'll drop her off at the nearest police station and she can find her way home. (that's a bit tongue in cheek......) Don't let her abuse you. Perhaps think of a consequence you can live with before the trip and let her know that if she pulls anything that is disrespectful or abusive, you will ...???.....take her to the nearest bus station and buy her a ticket back.......but if you say that, [U]you have to keep your word and follow through[/U]. Be present with boundaries.....don't engage.......practice deep breathing.......bring along peaceful music or fun games you can play with your other kids if they are young.....bring your "tool box" (the resources that work for you)......put the serenity prayer on the dashboard.......prepare yourself as best you can. Hang in there......we're here for you.... [/QUOTE]
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