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Post Rehab, Brother 31, Living at Home Doping, Mom Enabling. Family Split. point of view: Concerned Daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 700648" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Welcome.ETDMO, I'm so sorry about your brother and his addictions. It sounds to me as if you are being scape-goated, which can be viewed as a broken family system where one person is singled out to take the blame for the dysfunction. Unfortunately, it sounds as if your mother and brother have deemed you with that title, so they don't have to take any responsibility. I'm sorry. </p><p></p><p>There isn't anything you can do to change this dynamic, in my opinion. Enabling your brother has become your mothers main focus.</p><p>Perhaps the best thing you can do is detach yourself as best you can and get support for your feelings, which you have every right to feel. It's a sad tale, often the difficult child gets all the attention from the parents and the other kids are left behind. </p><p></p><p>You might try therapy, a 12 step group, a place where YOU can get the support and compassion you need, you didn't do anything wrong.......it must feel terrible.........my heart goes out to you.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting, get support and if it feels right, read the article on detachment on the Parent Emeritus forum. I'm glad you're here......hang in there......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 700648, member: 13542"] Welcome.ETDMO, I'm so sorry about your brother and his addictions. It sounds to me as if you are being scape-goated, which can be viewed as a broken family system where one person is singled out to take the blame for the dysfunction. Unfortunately, it sounds as if your mother and brother have deemed you with that title, so they don't have to take any responsibility. I'm sorry. There isn't anything you can do to change this dynamic, in my opinion. Enabling your brother has become your mothers main focus. Perhaps the best thing you can do is detach yourself as best you can and get support for your feelings, which you have every right to feel. It's a sad tale, often the difficult child gets all the attention from the parents and the other kids are left behind. You might try therapy, a 12 step group, a place where YOU can get the support and compassion you need, you didn't do anything wrong.......it must feel terrible.........my heart goes out to you. Keep posting, get support and if it feels right, read the article on detachment on the Parent Emeritus forum. I'm glad you're here......hang in there...... [/QUOTE]
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