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Post Rehab, Brother 31, Living at Home Doping, Mom Enabling. Family Split. point of view: Concerned Daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 700650" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Wow, Even, that is a lot of gobble de gook going on with your brother. I am sorry for your heartache over this and I can see why you would want to try to help. Problem is, we have no control over what adults choose, your bro, and parents <em>are in deep</em>. I agree with the others that you have been scapegoated, you are like the little boy yelling that the emporer is buck naked, and of course, your brother is going to turn the tables and make you the bad guy. He's got a perfect situation of enabling, why would he want you to come over and mess that up for him? Sadly, nothing changes, unless something changes. This is dysfunction beyond infinity.</p><p>You are not the fixer upper here, dear. Though you would like things to be better in your parents home, they have to want that for themselves. You can still have somewhat of a relationship with your folks, but really at what cost?</p><p>The detachment article is a good read for anyone who has dealt with an addicted family member and the resulting entanglement that comes along with that. Addiction is an illness, it not only affects the one inflicted, but also <em>everyone</em> that comes in contact.</p><p>I am sorry you have been subjected to such craziness.</p><p>The good thing is that you don't live there, have stability in your life, and a loving husband. Focus on you. That's what we have to do as parents of d cs. We all don't have any control over anyone else.</p><p>Maybe you could see Mom or Dad occasionally on neutral ground, lunch, dinner?</p><p>Hang in there and keep posting.</p><p>I voted for avoid contact. This sounds like a very unhealthy situation. Take good care of you, pull back a bit and learn as much as you can. You deserve a peaceful life.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 700650, member: 19522"] Wow, Even, that is a lot of gobble de gook going on with your brother. I am sorry for your heartache over this and I can see why you would want to try to help. Problem is, we have no control over what adults choose, your bro, and parents [I]are in deep[/I]. I agree with the others that you have been scapegoated, you are like the little boy yelling that the emporer is buck naked, and of course, your brother is going to turn the tables and make you the bad guy. He's got a perfect situation of enabling, why would he want you to come over and mess that up for him? Sadly, nothing changes, unless something changes. This is dysfunction beyond infinity. You are not the fixer upper here, dear. Though you would like things to be better in your parents home, they have to want that for themselves. You can still have somewhat of a relationship with your folks, but really at what cost? The detachment article is a good read for anyone who has dealt with an addicted family member and the resulting entanglement that comes along with that. Addiction is an illness, it not only affects the one inflicted, but also [I]everyone[/I] that comes in contact. I am sorry you have been subjected to such craziness. The good thing is that you don't live there, have stability in your life, and a loving husband. Focus on you. That's what we have to do as parents of d cs. We all don't have any control over anyone else. Maybe you could see Mom or Dad occasionally on neutral ground, lunch, dinner? Hang in there and keep posting. I voted for avoid contact. This sounds like a very unhealthy situation. Take good care of you, pull back a bit and learn as much as you can. You deserve a peaceful life. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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