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Post Rehab, Brother 31, Living at Home Doping, Mom Enabling. Family Split. point of view: Concerned Daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 702353" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I disagree that you don't need therapy. You don't have it figured out yet. I just started learning in my 30s. I am in my 60s Ive gone full circle. I am not angry at anyone. Not anymore. Anger hurts us. It really does.</p><p></p><p>I had no family of origin support. My husband and kids are my support. I had nowhere to go in an emergency either. This makes us stronger people. We must be self sufficient.</p><p></p><p>Your mother, whether or not she is a narcissist (I don't do online diagnosing...and this is the newest trendy diagnosis) is not and never did cause your brother's condition. He is an adult and is choosing to use drugs and manipulate weak family members to enable him. This behavior is his choice. You grew up with the same parents, but you made better choices. You function well, which makes you an outsider.</p><p></p><p>Do you really want to be an insider to this mess? It is to your credit that you are on the outside. The price would be too high for you.</p><p></p><p>Mourn the parents you wish you had, the brother you wish you had. But go on to live a great life. You are free now, not a part of constant drama. Celebrate your own life. Love yourself. Be proud of you. You are strong and you will make it, probably better off outside the fray.</p><p></p><p>Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 702353, member: 1550"] I disagree that you don't need therapy. You don't have it figured out yet. I just started learning in my 30s. I am in my 60s Ive gone full circle. I am not angry at anyone. Not anymore. Anger hurts us. It really does. I had no family of origin support. My husband and kids are my support. I had nowhere to go in an emergency either. This makes us stronger people. We must be self sufficient. Your mother, whether or not she is a narcissist (I don't do online diagnosing...and this is the newest trendy diagnosis) is not and never did cause your brother's condition. He is an adult and is choosing to use drugs and manipulate weak family members to enable him. This behavior is his choice. You grew up with the same parents, but you made better choices. You function well, which makes you an outsider. Do you really want to be an insider to this mess? It is to your credit that you are on the outside. The price would be too high for you. Mourn the parents you wish you had, the brother you wish you had. But go on to live a great life. You are free now, not a part of constant drama. Celebrate your own life. Love yourself. Be proud of you. You are strong and you will make it, probably better off outside the fray. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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Post Rehab, Brother 31, Living at Home Doping, Mom Enabling. Family Split. point of view: Concerned Daughter
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