posted in another room: havent had an answer

Discussion in 'Special Ed 101' started by brandyf, Nov 2, 2007.

  1. brandyf

    brandyf New Member

    "yes i sent the letter yesterday. i am scared to death of what they are going to have to say to me, and i surely hope the principal and teachers are mature enough not to let this interfere with my daughters school life, or make things harder on difficult child. but i had no other choice. like i said he spent 8.5 hours in ISS this week. His attitude is going to H%#L. he didnt even want to go trick or treating. saw our pediatrician yesterday. he referred him for sensory interogation, but this morning i called my insurance company and of course its not covered. i even made an appointment for our own neuropsychologist evaluation, which we got in less than 2 weeks, but again insurance is not going to pay for it.

    so...since i have no money because of the co-pays for our pediatrician and psychologist (weekly)...,i have to have teh public pay for teh testing. the school will not cut him a friggin break..they are triggering him... i am so enraged with them.. I sent the letter yesterday. Not sure what i should be expecting now...or if they are going Occupational Therapist (OT) call me, or what... do you think its a 100% that they will do the evaluation? Or will i have to fight for it? "

    what should i be expecting?
    they at teh school have started daily behavioral type tracking logs and let me tell you, they are so off...they are setting him up for failure. i have been tracking everything to the best of my knowledge...over time memories do fade, especially ones you dotn want to remember. i am goign to paste everything into this message for you guys to read and let me know what am i doing wrong?, what can i do better? what shoudl i be doing?
    History of Behavior


    Age 2-4-years-old:
    He did sleep and eat well but was very angry and through massive temper tantrums. He would bite, slap, swear. I was not able to let him play safely with other children. He did have strange quirks like not putting bare feet on grass, hands got dirty the world came to an end, as he got older he didn’t like certain clothes like if the tags scratched him in the back, or if the pants were long enough…list goes on…

    Andrew attended three different daycares between ages 3 and 4 before we found one that we were comfortable with. He did not have any trouble or bad remarks from any of them.

    Andrew started going to preschool at age four at our local elementary school. The entire year was horrible. I should have kept all the documents and behavior slips but I did not. He disrupted the entire class all year long and his teachers were pulling their hair out with him. I had many meetings with the teachers and principals over Andrew’s behavior.

    Finally, after the school year had ended our pediatrician Dr. Richmond set Andrew up with an appointment to meet with a child psychologist through Burrell. We as a family met with the counselor once a week for 3 months. She stated many times that he showed symptoms of ODD but was not seeing any ADHD. We were taught the importance of consistent parenting, time-outs, reward systems, 1-2-3 Magic, and using behavior charts. We were very pleased with our progress and Andrew responded rapidly to the positive disciplining techniques. Overall, I felt we, as parents had been the biggest problem in not being consistent with Andrew.

    Kindergarten began.
    On the third day, we received a call from the principal stating that Andrew and another boy (which happened to be our next-door neighbor) had been throwing rocks outside the school and busted a window. We would have to split the cost to replace the window. Andrew showed no remorse and could not even explain the situation to us when he got home, nor to the principal. After much talk, he did finally confess, but I believe he was under pressure of just wanting us to quit talking about it and leave him alone. We grounded Andrew to his bedroom for the evening. Two days later the principal called and said luckily through a recent inspection they realized the window had been documented as being cracked prior so we did not have to cover the cost of the window. Overall, the rest of the kindergarten year went fairly smooth. As I recall he had one or two incidents with other children being aggressive and had to sit in the principal’s office for a time. We were very pleased at the end of the year with all of his academics and were relieved to think he was finally “growing up”.

    Summer after kindergarten:
    Over the summer, Andrew started new habits of stealing and lying. He stole from gas stations, Wal-Mart, even his own grandfather. We finally got Andrew to confess and apologize to each individual thinking the humility would take effect. Still no remorse. He had a few fights and mishaps with neighbor kids throughout the summer, each time either denying it and blaming it on someone else, or owning up to it and saying, “I don’t care”. He was however very excited to start a new school year. Another new thing that manifested was the seams of his socks, which seems like a spoiled, wanting to get what I want situation, but he took it way further than that. It has turned into a 20-minute process of getting it socks straight lined up with his toes to be able to put the shoes on, or we were not going anywhere.

    First grade.
    On the very first day, I asked his teacher (Ms. Phillips) how his day had went. She said “Not bad, although he did punch a girl in the stomach today”. The list goes on:

    1. I let one week go by before asking the teacher again about his daily events. She mentioned that he was not paying attention and very disrespectful in class. She explained to me her classroom discipline, which is that each child starts on green for the day, then drops to yellow when misbehaving, then to pink, down to red. They do however get the chance of earning themselves back up the color wheel for good behaviors during the same day. If a child was able to remain on green all week the reward is to eat lunch with the teacher in her classroom. I began to ask Andrew everyday what color he got on. He was telling me green, yellow…so I assumed everything was going to be fine. Then the calls started. Ms. Phillips called me and said that Andrew had been caught misguiding a younger student outside the building as a joke, but did let him back in. She said it was dangerous and she could not have him endangering other students. I agreed. She said he had been nonstop misbehaving since school started. I explained that I had been unaware since Andrew was obviously lying to me about the colors he had been getting on. She said he had not been off red since school started. I asked that she either call me or send a note home to confirm his color, and if he is on red, I will ground him to his room. I was sure after a couple of times Andrew would try to do better. I explained the rules to Andrew and he was well aware of the consequences of his actions.

    2. About another week passed by and still had not heard a word from the teacher about Andrew, then a call. She had enough of Andrews name calling, lack of discipline, lack of conscious, talking out, being disrespectful, ignoring instructions and that she wanted to have a conference with the principal and Andrew. During the conference (which his father attended with him as I was in Urgent Care for a sickness), she had expressed Andrews problems, his father apologized and asked many times what we should be doing to help, with no answers. The principal mentioned that Andrew has a history of being difficult in the beginning of the school year and then he just gets over it, so that we should just hope for the best.

    3. Finally, Ms. Phillips decided the color wheel was not working for Andrew. He expressed very openly that he did not care about the colors. She decided to start sending daily behavioral charts home. I only received two in approximately a week. So that really was not very consistent either.

    4. Andrew at about the 3rd week of school starting showing massive behavioral changes at home: constantly arguing, not wanting to go to school, stating that Ms. Phillips did not like him. Has had many bouts of diarrhea and vomiting sporadically like anxiety and complaining of stomachaches.

    5. 10/04/2007: Call from principal. Had to get Andrew from school. Suspended for 24 hours for throwing a pencil at a classmate hitting him just below the eye. Andrew said that the other child had thrown it first and he was just throwing it back. I was grateful just hearing Andrew have an explanation. I had a meeting with the principal over the incident and to let him know that I thought Andrew needed some type of intervention of sorts and that we were going to set him up with Burrell. I told the principal that we were seeing increasing problems with his anxiety and depression at home by not wanting to go to school and not liking his teacher. The principal just tried to reassure me that he is not that bad yet, they have not given up on him and that he just seems defiant.

    6. We started seeing another psychologist at Burrell to try to help Andrew release or learn to release anxiety and frustration without hurting other children.

    7. Andrew got into a fistfight with a neighbor boy on a Sunday afternoon as we were putting up Halloween decorations as a family. Once we were able to break up the fight Andrew took it upon himself to run into his room and slam the door screaming, “I am never coming out”. He was obviously upset and could not deal with the emotions he was experiencing.

    8. 10/19/2007. Andrew’s teacher removed him from an assembly for bending over and crawling around trying to get a little girls lost bracelet. Around 11:30 a.m., Andrew was made to call me to let me know he had broken 12 of his classmates’ pencils and that I would have to buy more to replace them. He was not able to tell me why he had done this. Then after school, the teacher had my 9-year-old daughter hold Andrew’s hand to my car since he had been acting up so badly, clearly trying to humiliate him. After school, I called Ms. Phillips and told her I did not think his attitude was getting better at all and that he was showing depressive symptoms and that I wanted him transferred to another class.

    9. 10/22/2007. Had meeting with principal, he agreed to move him but not that day. We took Andrew home for the day. In our conference, I again begged for some information on what I should be doing as a parent. I asked if he thought he should be tested for special classes? Again, was reassured that Andrew was fine.

    10. 10/23/2007. Had a fine day with his new teacher and classmates.

    11. 10/24/2007. Still nothing to report upon by new teacher.

    12. 10/25/2007. At one o’clock p.m., call from secretary. Andrew had hit, slapped and kicked four students that day and since the principal was out, Andrew had to be removed from the school.

    13. 10/26/2007. Andrew was in ISS from 8:15 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. for the prior incident. At 1:00 p.m., Andrew was sent back to the principal’s office for punching a kid in the hall on the way to music. Still when asked why he done these things “because I felt like it”. Principal kept him in ISS for the rest of the day. After school principal called and asked to move him back to his original class. Over the weekend we implemented a new rewards program using these huge fake $100 bills. If we notice something positive and wonderful about our kids, we will give them one. As soon as they have 10 of them, we will take them to Wal-Mart or anywhere for that matter to buy them what they want. We cannot take them back, they cant give them back. Once you earn them, they are yours permanently. We also made new chore charts that are a lot simpler made homemade out of glue, construction paper, felt, puff pain and popsicle sticks. Trying to give kids new perspective to earning and a feeling of being truly important in our family.

    14. 10/29/2007. Back to Ms. Phillips class using an independent behavior slip that Andrew monitors himself hourly, approval from teacher with a star or checkmark. Okay day overall.

    15. 10/30/2007. Okay behavior report. Still a couple of outbursts like inappropriate words.

    16. 10/31/2007. Principal called at 12:30, Andrew hit a girl in the face with a fruit rollup at lunch. Sent to ISS for rest of the day and will have to spend all day tomorrow there as well. Principal stated that Andrew had no idea why he had done what he did but that he finally had gotten him to cry and felt like he was actually “getting somewhere with him” because he had never cried to him before. He said that Andrew wanted him to call his mom. When Andrew came home from school, he immediately went to the bathroom. He started complaining of a stomachache and said that he had not been able to go to the bathroom the whole time he was in ISS. I tried not to buy into the excuse too much. I explained to Andrew that he could just ask anyone to be able to go, and that it was nonsense. He made it very difficult by not even wanting to go trick or treating. I believe this was his anxiety. P.S. He tried throwing all of his earned fake dollars back at us. He has 5 at this point. Really trying to find awesome things he is doing to give them to him.

    17. 11/01/2007: He woke up in a horrible mood, barely got his clothes on and ate…he did not want to go to school knowing he had ISS. He sat the entire day in a cubical inside the principal’s office doing extra schoolwork. When I went to pick him up at 2:40pm for new pediatrician appointment his eyes were beat red, with bags under them. He had tons of energy built up. The appointment was horrible. He slapped himself 10-15 times in front of the doctor, crawled all over the floor, called me stupid. Dr. Faust finally recommended we go for sensory interrogation testing.

    18. 11/02/2007: The morning was great. He got right out of bed and done all of his activities of daily living with-o issues. He did say, “I am going to have a good day today.” He was very hopeful. When I picked him up the first thing he said was “I got on yellow today.” I told him “good job, high five”. He was very proud. Later when I went through his backpack his behavior slip, which is enclosed states that it was not a good day at all. He misbehaved, but obviously not reason to send to principal. She listed that he was falling out of his chair, speaking out while on the carpet (reading and story time), he kicked a boy in the leg the last hour of the day and she wrote “Not a good day”. Not sure they are being clear to Andrew what the standards are since he was clearly proud of himself for the day. Possibly, they just didn’t want to have to send him back to the principal???? Does not make a lot of sense since things clearly have to be laid out simply for the ODD child. To top everything off, I found out today that our $300.00 premium a month insurance will not cover neuropsychologist evaluations nor sensory interrogation testing."

    I AM NOT EASILY PUT OFF BY OTHERS INPUT. i beg for assistance. again, i dont know what the hell i am doing. i am doing the best i can do with teh knowledge i have. that is why i am constantly striving for new knowledge.

    thanks in advance. without you guys...i would be no where.
  2. Nina

    Nina New Member


    I have been struggling with my difficult child since he was 2 1/2 when I started him at preschool. First he was asked to leave Montessori for bitting which he didnt start till going to the school he was there almost a year. Then we sent him to a Baptist school for 2 - 5 year olds he was there around 6 months and we moved him to a bigger private church school that went to the 6th grade. He went there until the last month of kindergarden when we were asked to leave. He had agressive behavior especially towards authority figures. When I think about it he did go to this school for a good while, a little over 2 years. It is still a sore subject with me because a few days before the principal told us they just didn't think they could help my child a office worker at the school slapped him for spitting at her. I felt it was because that lady, who had no business even being around my child, had done something wrong. I felt they just didn't want us there anymore. I know he had misbehaved plenty while attending I just felt that the timing had more to do with the incident than his behavior. I was so upset we had to start a brand new school with a 1 1/2 months left of school. Anyway we ditched the idea of the smaller class atomosphere you get at private school and opted for a public school. We have been there from the end of kinder to know 2nd grade. Adjusting to a new school was difficult and to be honost we still have problems. He was suspended Wed for 1 day for big surpise BITTING. URRRRR.....

    Anyway, I mention this because your difficult child also seems to have problems in school mainly do to behavior. I have visited this site for about a year and find it extremely supportive and helpful. I am defintely not an expert and I'm sure others will be around shortly to give you better advice.

    I did want to mention that you should see about meeting with the counselor and have him evaluated for Special Education or a 50?, 504 I think. From what I've heard the Special Education classification is better, assistance wise. My son is in Special Education and in my opinion and I feel that the teachers and pricipals are more envolved with him.
    Its good that they dont send him home everytime he gets in trouble but he cant always be in the office he is missing out on class instruction. Maybe if you let them know your concern about him being sent to the office and its effect on his learning.

    You should defintly read up on the Special Education programs and the laws that the schools are required to go by to ensure that you and your difficult child are getting to most out of the schools.

    Good luck. You are doing all you can do. Take it one day at a time and always remember the good days over the bad.
  3. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Hi Brandy,

    So, I am a little confused. What is your exact question?

    Your son is entitled to a FAPE, free and appropriate education. He should get this by receiving whatever school accomodations he needs, based on his disorder. The school cannot implement anything, however, without a diagnosis, or labeled disability.

    Please come back to us and let us know, more specifically your questions, and whether your son has been diagnosed, and by whom. Also, filling out your profile on your signature will help us know more of about you and your family, every time you post.

  4. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Inappropriate behavior management at school can, in fact, cause many additional problems.

    As you can probably tell, I've been on OSEP's site all morning looking for some of their old behavior/discipline policy letters. lol

    I was not successful in locating OSEP's behavior/discipline policy letters I was looking for; the links I have, have been moved or archived. I have no more time to search for them.

    Positive behavior interventions are highly supported by the US Department of Education. Why schools insist on continuing to use a behavior method that clearly is not working, and clearly are making things worse, is beyond my comprehension. is sponsored in part by US Dept of Education, OSEP. "Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports (PBIS) are not just good practice, but are good policy as well. In 1997, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) was amended to include PBIS as the recommended form of intervention when dealing with behavioral issues for children with disabilities. In fact, IEP teams are required by IDEA to consider the use of PBIS for children with disabilities whose behavior impedes their learning or the learning of others.

    This portion of the PBIS website explains in greater detail the legal and policy issues around the use of PBIS; it includes a FAQ, publications, and links to other relevant information."

    Check the Sp Ed Archives also. Hopefully, at least some of the behavior info was cut and pasted from sites rather than just posting a link.

    When the letter is received, you should be contacted to sign some papers evidencing "parent consent" to evaluate. Do not let them talk you out of evaluating at this time.

    If they refuse to evaluate, they must notify you of that fact in writing -- and "because we said so" isn't sufficient.

    Keeping a log is a very good thing. Good job!

    It appears to me that you are doing all the things you should be doing. Just keep reading and educating yourself about yours and your child's educational rights.