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Potetial confrontation coming up
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<blockquote data-quote="HereWeGoAgain" data-source="post: 39931" data-attributes="member: 3485"><p>Hi friends, I haven't been on the board in a while. Thanks again for all the encouragement and wisdom.</p><p></p><p>DDD you have a point there. Basically she has never spent a dime of money she had to work for on supporting her child. She has helped out by way of non-cash benefits she has qualified for from time to time, i.e. food stamps and state-paid medical. (This all ended once wife and I became guardians.) Cash benefits such as this EIC payment have always evaporated.</p><p></p><p>Well anyway, in the end I did not withdraw the remaining cash (after the fine) and hand it to her. But I did back off of making her justify every withdrawal. So, five days ago the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) let her out with two other clients so she could go to the county hospital to pick up her refills on her psychiatric medications. The night before she had called and asked to stop by my office and get $20 for this and that. Fine by me. She then called in the morning and said really she needed $50 because she needed some "personal items" and I said, well, it is your money (technically, if not morally) but remember when it's gone it's gone and I hope you're thinking clearly about the future. Well when all was said and done I handed her $100, with her repeatedly assuring me that she was going to be very very careful and make it last (not that I demanded an explanation, but just because I let her know I was worried).</p><p></p><p>My fears were justified. Of course. We found out last night that her group went to the flea market the next day -- I presume in order for the moms to find clothes and things for their kids (many of the clients have their kids there in the center with them) -- anyhow at the flea market she goes and spends her money on... getting her tongue pierced. I was so disgusted I about threw up. One step forward, one step back. She says she knew it was incredibly stupid but she went and did it anyway. Not very encouraging on her prospects of making it this time. At least she was aware that it was stupid, but what good is awareness if it doesn't stop her? Zip. Somehow she's going to have to figure out how to use that awareness to stop herself, and it's not happening and the program does not seem to be helping her in developing the ability.</p><p></p><p>To me this piercing business seems like a legally sanctioned (and socially acceptable, nowadays) form of self-mutilation. It's cutting in a different form, as far as I'm concerned. The center said that they provide psychiatric services, but she has yet to see a p-doctor since she went in 5 weeks ago.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HereWeGoAgain, post: 39931, member: 3485"] Hi friends, I haven't been on the board in a while. Thanks again for all the encouragement and wisdom. DDD you have a point there. Basically she has never spent a dime of money she had to work for on supporting her child. She has helped out by way of non-cash benefits she has qualified for from time to time, i.e. food stamps and state-paid medical. (This all ended once wife and I became guardians.) Cash benefits such as this EIC payment have always evaporated. Well anyway, in the end I did not withdraw the remaining cash (after the fine) and hand it to her. But I did back off of making her justify every withdrawal. So, five days ago the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) let her out with two other clients so she could go to the county hospital to pick up her refills on her psychiatric medications. The night before she had called and asked to stop by my office and get $20 for this and that. Fine by me. She then called in the morning and said really she needed $50 because she needed some "personal items" and I said, well, it is your money (technically, if not morally) but remember when it's gone it's gone and I hope you're thinking clearly about the future. Well when all was said and done I handed her $100, with her repeatedly assuring me that she was going to be very very careful and make it last (not that I demanded an explanation, but just because I let her know I was worried). My fears were justified. Of course. We found out last night that her group went to the flea market the next day -- I presume in order for the moms to find clothes and things for their kids (many of the clients have their kids there in the center with them) -- anyhow at the flea market she goes and spends her money on... getting her tongue pierced. I was so disgusted I about threw up. One step forward, one step back. She says she knew it was incredibly stupid but she went and did it anyway. Not very encouraging on her prospects of making it this time. At least she was aware that it was stupid, but what good is awareness if it doesn't stop her? Zip. Somehow she's going to have to figure out how to use that awareness to stop herself, and it's not happening and the program does not seem to be helping her in developing the ability. To me this piercing business seems like a legally sanctioned (and socially acceptable, nowadays) form of self-mutilation. It's cutting in a different form, as far as I'm concerned. The center said that they provide psychiatric services, but she has yet to see a p-doctor since she went in 5 weeks ago. [/QUOTE]
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