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Power struggles
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 753413" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think RN's situation and yours are different. Her son went through an intensive program which was nearly a year long. He committed himself to recovery and he followed through. He transformed himself morally and socially. He matured. He came home humble and focused.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter has not engaged in anything similar. She seems to refuse to own up to any responsibility for herself beyond her schoolwork. This is not a criticism. But I don't see your daughter in any way trying to make this work for anybody but herself, according to her (presently) skewed value system, which is to consume medication, seek sympathy and controlling others.</p><p></p><p>I would not rule out that she has some kind of substance abuse problem, but I think the main issues here are immaturity, self-indulgence, and seeking power over others in ways that are covert and destructive. This is what has to change. She needs to get into another environment where she can't do this anymore. No other environment besides in your home would accommodate her in the manner she seeks to impose. This to me is what needs to stop. What will give her the incentive and impetus to change while she is at home?</p><p></p><p>The horses are already out of the barn. What would rein her in, her caustic and totally disrespectful speech. I went through this too. There is no way my son would have curbed this without having to leave, suffering, and maturing some. He still does it occasionally but nowhere near like in the past.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter wants independence. She wants to mature. She is capable. She has great strength. Right now all of this is twisted up like a corkscrew and turned against herself and you. Help her shoot straight. And not at you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 753413, member: 18958"] I think RN's situation and yours are different. Her son went through an intensive program which was nearly a year long. He committed himself to recovery and he followed through. He transformed himself morally and socially. He matured. He came home humble and focused. Your daughter has not engaged in anything similar. She seems to refuse to own up to any responsibility for herself beyond her schoolwork. This is not a criticism. But I don't see your daughter in any way trying to make this work for anybody but herself, according to her (presently) skewed value system, which is to consume medication, seek sympathy and controlling others. I would not rule out that she has some kind of substance abuse problem, but I think the main issues here are immaturity, self-indulgence, and seeking power over others in ways that are covert and destructive. This is what has to change. She needs to get into another environment where she can't do this anymore. No other environment besides in your home would accommodate her in the manner she seeks to impose. This to me is what needs to stop. What will give her the incentive and impetus to change while she is at home? The horses are already out of the barn. What would rein her in, her caustic and totally disrespectful speech. I went through this too. There is no way my son would have curbed this without having to leave, suffering, and maturing some. He still does it occasionally but nowhere near like in the past. Your daughter wants independence. She wants to mature. She is capable. She has great strength. Right now all of this is twisted up like a corkscrew and turned against herself and you. Help her shoot straight. And not at you. [/QUOTE]
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