I hope you don't mind my copying this over here, but I think it is a cry for help. You HAVE to find a way to take some time for you. Even just and afternoon a week while the kids are at grandma's or husband watches them. You are in crisis. You need to ask about respite services from you doctor or your children's docs. Please work on a way to stop blaming your son. Blaming him only makes you fill up with unpleasant emotions. You are able to control how you feel, though it takes practice. A therapist can helpyou with this. You are taking medications to deal with YOUR feelings, not to deal with your son's behind. Yes, your son's behavior is not what it should be. It is embarrassing to you. But it isn't God punishing or forsaking you. God gave you your son. He thinks you can care for him the way God cares for all his children. REad the Explosive Child, give the methods a try. If they don't work, try Love and Logic. If your son is dangerous to himself or others (including you and your husband and daughter) then get him into a hospital. Whatever you do, yelling and hitting are only going to amke things worse. As it stands, you are going to have to do a lot of work to retrain yourself and your husband to use more effective methods, AND to retrain your son to respond to the new methods. If you like Occupational Therapist (OT) listen to audio downloads, http://www.loveandlogic.com has some downloads for parents and teachers. They are both useful. And they are FREE, which is very very helpful. Take care of yourself, Susie ps. If possible, could you break your posts into parqagraphs? No one here is going to red pencil you (they wouldhave run out of red ink with my typos!!LOL) but it si easier on our eyes to have things a bit more broken up than one solid long paragraph. Thanks.