Prayers needed for two things please

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by hearts and roses, Nov 10, 2011.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    First - my closest friend is going through a really difficult time with her H. He has always been verbally, emotionally, mentally and [at times] physically abusive to her. They have been together since forever and have 5 kids together, all of whom are adults except one who is 17. I don't want to go into detail, but I am so very worried about her. She's finally at a point where she wants to walk away or have him leave, but he's one of those psychotics who may hunt her down and kill her rather than just walk away. I mean it, really. He's consumed with delusional thoughts. He wakes her at all hours of the night to badger her and beat her emotionally and verbally; she's averaging 3 hours of sleep a night, if that. She's left home and come to my house and her daughter's already twice, but she feels trapped with no where to really go. I know she's hesitant to contact a shelter for the shame it may bring upon the family. I think he may kill her - he has threatened as much. Her 17 y/o son tries to protect her when he can, but he's a kid and can't be around all the time. Plus, because all the kids grew up in this f-ed up home, what is normal for them would not be considered normal for most of us and so I think they don't realize how serious things are. I feel my friend is about to give up and doesn't care if she lives or dies - she just wants peace. But she's afraid of what he will do if she leaves. I have tried to encourage her to seek out a shelter and a lawyer. The H claims if they get divorced he will spend every last dime so she gets nothing. He said he won't be happy until she is either dead or living under a bridge with nothing. He's going around town telling anyone who will listen all sorts of horrible things about my friend from 30 years ago = before they were even married! Apparently, when she was 17 she slept with another man and he's holding that over her head. And apparently she is bad with money and he's telling everyone she stole from him. It's nuts. They've been married 28 years. My H thinks the guy wants out of the marriage but instead of just walking away he's trying to create reasons to justify not being with her anymore. I just want my friend outta there! The poor woman hasn't relaxed in God knows how long. She can't, she's always on guard and he's so unpredictable. This past week she changed her payroll so her entire check goes into her account. Prior, it was all going into HIS separate savings account that didn't have her name on it. She's trying to set herself up in case they split, but when he finds out about the money, that may be the straw for him - I think he may snap. Please pray for my friend for strength. Thanks.

    The second thing is that I have a presentation to give in class tonight (I know, not nearly as important!). With all the power outages and loss of IT at home and work, I've managed to patch together a decent presentation, but it's sort of rushed - I am hoping it's acceptable and good. Just send up a good wish for me if you can. Thank you!
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Will do.

    I've had your friend on my mind since the first time you mentioned her... I'm sending her hugs, too.
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I know that you have tried to encourage your friend to take no avail. How frightening and frustrating that must be! Is there any chance that she could "visit" you and make a call to a Center anonymously from your home? Maybe, just maybe, if she had the privacy to speak freely she might gain some insight. She remains in my thoughts and prayers.

    I'm sure your project will go well. Hugs. DDD
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I feel so badly for your friend. Can I come up and beat her H into oblivion? Now wouldnt that be a sight? Me, all 300 pounds with a hand carved walking stick, beating the tar out of that man! I might get tired and have to take an extra pain pill but I imagine the fury over what he has done to her will get me through (Just have a good place for me to rest after its over!)

    So what if she slept with someone else 30 years ago? I bet he slept with another woman too! gasp...sheesh. Is this the 1800's? And I dont think a wife can steal from a husband. Whats his is hers too. What a horses behind.

    Good luck in your class tonight.
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Adding in my prayers. I hope your friend decides on a shelter. No one should have to live the way she is living, she deserves so much more.
  6. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Y'all need prayers you got 'em. Hope she decides on a DV shelter or someplace safe that can help her.
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Prayers being sent up.... luv, Buddy
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hugs and prayers going out.
  9. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    My presentation went great.

    My friend's H has cheated on her many times pver the years, while she was preggers too! He's a real cretin. Thanks for the prayers for her. I will pitch your suggestion DDD. Janet, get in line, maybe we can tag team him-you with your cane and me with mine! I love you ladies!
  10. keista

    keista New Member

    Prayers out to your friend.

    Glad the presentation went well.