Prayers Urgently Needed
- Thread starter Hound dog
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Liahona
Guest
Sending prayers for your family and the family of the 1 yr old.
I am so sorry. I don't know how a mom could take this any way but exceptionally hard. To think that the child you gave birth to and lovingly raised could be even on the periphery of something like this would be so painful and heartbreaking, and to have your child actually arrested for something like this? The pain would be devastating.
PLEASE encourage easy child and her husband to just be there as she mourns. In some ways this may be one of a mother's worst fears because they are taken from you and put into a terrifying world where anyone who knows what they are accused of will be out to get them, and there are not many ways to protect yourself. There is no way for a parent to protect a child in this situation, and that is still one of our first instincts. If easy child's mother in law is part of a church, maybe the pastor can help her through this. otherwise, at some point a therapist will likely be a very good thing. I hope and pray that in time the family will heal.
I am so very sorry.
PLEASE encourage easy child and her husband to just be there as she mourns. In some ways this may be one of a mother's worst fears because they are taken from you and put into a terrifying world where anyone who knows what they are accused of will be out to get them, and there are not many ways to protect yourself. There is no way for a parent to protect a child in this situation, and that is still one of our first instincts. If easy child's mother in law is part of a church, maybe the pastor can help her through this. otherwise, at some point a therapist will likely be a very good thing. I hope and pray that in time the family will heal.
I am so very sorry.
Marguerite
Active Member
That's awful, Lisa. Hugs to you all. It's horrible not knowing, fearing the worst - and then even worse happens. They ran - it's not looking good for them.
We have had a couple of cases a bit like this in Sydney. They're still playing out in court but especially where drugs are involved, some awful things can happen to kids.
Marg
We have had a couple of cases a bit like this in Sydney. They're still playing out in court but especially where drugs are involved, some awful things can happen to kids.
Marg
S
Signorina
Guest
Hugs & prayers
trinityroyal
Well-Known Member
Oh Lisa, I am so very sorry. Sending prayers and strength.
everywoman
Well-Known Member
Prayers!
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Prayers coming in your direction for everyone who is hurting from t his horrible incident.
Californiablonde
Well-Known Member
Saying prayers for everyone involved. Very sad.
How is sister in law doing? So many times we hear about a crime and think/say awful things about the accused/convicted, but we forget that they have loved ones who are devastated. Sadly, violence leaves more than just the obvious victims, and very little support is ever offered to the family of the accused. I hope and pray that that sister in law and his family are able to find support and refuge during the very long ordeal that has just begun. I would recommend that sister in law's family esp the immediate family and all children stay FAR away from social media of all kinds. People tend to be cruel and if they are cruel over someone's hair or skin color (as we have all seen), they will be so much more vicious over this. It isn't healthy to see all the things that people will post if they can, and it sure is not healthy to see that garbage.
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
Susie sister in law is in over protective mode of his family, has been since it started. He's not quite sure what to do with himself, as there isn't much one can really do to "help". easy child and he did bring his little sister home with them yesterday to spend the day so his mom could have a break and let her hair down as needed.....and go visit his difficult child brother in ky perhaps for an explanation...something to make this nightmare not quite so horrible. I don't think that is possible, but I think it is a normal reaction.
This is a very painful confusing time for the family. sister in law's little bro was a difficult child that had some issues hinting at mental illness in the past, he got into some trouble, had some anger issues but nothing too serious. He met a ditzy but decent girl, found out he was going to be a father......and suddenly began turning his life around. For several years he was a good husband, doting and devoted loving dad to his two kids. His ex wife decided she couldn't handle him being military or in Afghanistan and filed for divorce while he was overseas. Yet it was a somewhat friendly divorce with her staying close to the family. He returned from Afghanistan on leave some time ago.......and the family noticed nearly immediately he had changed. He hooked up with the girlfriend nearly as soon as he returned. She is also a difficult child with her own rather serious issues. That part is quite involved as they'd dated years ago and it was just not a good combination.......2 difficult children whom dxes were actually making each other more severe....add in drugs......and it was awful. This time around it was just so much worse.
I've just about had it completely with CPS. This is another case of them totally dropping the ball.......AGAIN. It doesn't excuse whomever is guilty but they share that guilt. easy child's mother in law had concerns over the girlfriend's children welfare. The girlfriend's family had concerns over their welfare. There was evidence of physical abuse. The gfs sister contacted police and cps and the children were removed and placed into their aunts custody. (I'm guessing there were some issues with the biodad as well) For some idiotic reason, CPS returned the children to the girlfriend some time later, despite the concerns of both families for the children's welfare. I guess I should make that 3 families to include the bio dads family of 2 of the kids. (difficult child fathered the eldest child)
As far as I'm concerned, there needs to be a way to hold cps responsible for their irresponsible behavior in returning children to potential serious situations. This has got to stop. They are as much to blame in my opinion for what happened.
girlfriend is taking all the blame for the child's death at this point. Details of that are not known.
easy child's husband's parents are just beside themselves and torn apart. There is serious concern over difficult child, yet there is heart wrenching grief over the loss of the child whom they'd come to view as a grandchild. They're confused at difficult child's sudden drastic change in personality/behavior. He does not even look like himself if you know what I mean.... Their difficult child had made such amazing progress......even achieved easy child status for quite a lot of years, only to suddenly do a 180 back into gfgdom while also being drastically more severe than before. Drugs only made it that much more severe. But I don't think it was just "a drug related" crime........the girlfriend has some serious mental illness behaviors and has for years. Drugs just made it that much more volatile.
Charges are abuse of a corpse and tampering with evidence. For difficult child, he also has to face charges for going AWOL ect from the military. More will be added as the investigation continues.
I feel for all of the families involved. Such a horrible nightmare for all of them.
This is a very painful confusing time for the family. sister in law's little bro was a difficult child that had some issues hinting at mental illness in the past, he got into some trouble, had some anger issues but nothing too serious. He met a ditzy but decent girl, found out he was going to be a father......and suddenly began turning his life around. For several years he was a good husband, doting and devoted loving dad to his two kids. His ex wife decided she couldn't handle him being military or in Afghanistan and filed for divorce while he was overseas. Yet it was a somewhat friendly divorce with her staying close to the family. He returned from Afghanistan on leave some time ago.......and the family noticed nearly immediately he had changed. He hooked up with the girlfriend nearly as soon as he returned. She is also a difficult child with her own rather serious issues. That part is quite involved as they'd dated years ago and it was just not a good combination.......2 difficult children whom dxes were actually making each other more severe....add in drugs......and it was awful. This time around it was just so much worse.
I've just about had it completely with CPS. This is another case of them totally dropping the ball.......AGAIN. It doesn't excuse whomever is guilty but they share that guilt. easy child's mother in law had concerns over the girlfriend's children welfare. The girlfriend's family had concerns over their welfare. There was evidence of physical abuse. The gfs sister contacted police and cps and the children were removed and placed into their aunts custody. (I'm guessing there were some issues with the biodad as well) For some idiotic reason, CPS returned the children to the girlfriend some time later, despite the concerns of both families for the children's welfare. I guess I should make that 3 families to include the bio dads family of 2 of the kids. (difficult child fathered the eldest child)
As far as I'm concerned, there needs to be a way to hold cps responsible for their irresponsible behavior in returning children to potential serious situations. This has got to stop. They are as much to blame in my opinion for what happened.
girlfriend is taking all the blame for the child's death at this point. Details of that are not known.
easy child's husband's parents are just beside themselves and torn apart. There is serious concern over difficult child, yet there is heart wrenching grief over the loss of the child whom they'd come to view as a grandchild. They're confused at difficult child's sudden drastic change in personality/behavior. He does not even look like himself if you know what I mean.... Their difficult child had made such amazing progress......even achieved easy child status for quite a lot of years, only to suddenly do a 180 back into gfgdom while also being drastically more severe than before. Drugs only made it that much more severe. But I don't think it was just "a drug related" crime........the girlfriend has some serious mental illness behaviors and has for years. Drugs just made it that much more volatile.
Charges are abuse of a corpse and tampering with evidence. For difficult child, he also has to face charges for going AWOL ect from the military. More will be added as the investigation continues.
I feel for all of the families involved. Such a horrible nightmare for all of them.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
That sounds like some serious PTSD going on if you ask me. So many soldiers are coming back just not the people they were when they went into the military. Heck, Jamie never even went overseas and he isnt the same boy he was after serving in the military. It changes them completely.
Lisa, CPS in your area is one of the worst of anywhere. When we lived there I made MANY complaints about a neighbor when the evidence was OVERWHELMING for many crimes and instances of child abuse that we heard or saw happen or saw the aftermath of. The ONLY response from the cops was to accuse ME of threatening the neighbors. I still believe that someone was paid off to allow it all to happen. We moved as soon as we could.
I also knew a lady who worked for CPS there. She said that unless there are feces lying dried and very old all over, someone has seen a beating that used more than a hand or foot or belt, or a child was hospitalized or dead, they were not permitted to do ANYTHING. If they did? They got fired or threatened with arrest for custodial interference and child abuse because it is so traumatic to remove an abused child from their loving parents. The day we talked she had just gotten a warning from her boss over this and had paperwork that said all of this. It was sickening.
So I am not at all surprised that the families had gone to CPS. I am surprised we don't hear stories like this every day and twice on Sundays. It is sick and horrible, and I am so sorry for all of the devastated families left behind who tried to do what they could and were turned away at every door. I am sure the media will be asking why the families didn't do more, and in my opinion that is the wrong question.
My thoughts and prayers are still with you and the families. this is going to be so difficult, and especialu for all the family who tried to prevent this.
I also knew a lady who worked for CPS there. She said that unless there are feces lying dried and very old all over, someone has seen a beating that used more than a hand or foot or belt, or a child was hospitalized or dead, they were not permitted to do ANYTHING. If they did? They got fired or threatened with arrest for custodial interference and child abuse because it is so traumatic to remove an abused child from their loving parents. The day we talked she had just gotten a warning from her boss over this and had paperwork that said all of this. It was sickening.
So I am not at all surprised that the families had gone to CPS. I am surprised we don't hear stories like this every day and twice on Sundays. It is sick and horrible, and I am so sorry for all of the devastated families left behind who tried to do what they could and were turned away at every door. I am sure the media will be asking why the families didn't do more, and in my opinion that is the wrong question.
My thoughts and prayers are still with you and the families. this is going to be so difficult, and especialu for all the family who tried to prevent this.
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
Susie that is exactly what I ran in to with cps when Katie was first here...........only evidently the whole feces thing didn't matter at that point either.
In cases such as these in my opinion cps should also be charged with gross neglect and child endangerment........only I'd take it even further to involuntary manslaughter. Just because they are a govt agency does NOT mean they are not guilty as well. Enough of that and we might see some real changes to the system.
