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Praying for that day......
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 677184" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I don't know about jealous, it is more that I am "in the way." I think she feels <em>betrayed</em>......like I am looking for attention and pity, by posting here. <em>It is her story</em>, too, as well as mine. This is not something one wants broadcasted. I do not think she has any idea of how devastating this is for me as a mother, how much it hurts. I do not think she understands that writing here, <em>is not for exposure</em>, it is a way to release the anguish.</p><p></p><p>I have always had to be the one that has to "be the bad guy" and put my foot down, set the boundaries.</p><p></p><p>It is usually when hubs is not around, so he does not get to see the interaction, and all of the disrespectful behavior. It is really<em> hateful. </em></p><p>As the first born, she has always been her fathers favorite. She is usually more quiet, like he is. I also think, it is hard for a father to see his daughter go through this.</p><p>It is hard for me, too, but we are at different places on this road. I understand that helping, is not helping.</p><p>She is 36, she has got to figure this out. She is living a very dangerous life.</p><p> I wish that too, but he is not the "counseling" type. Old-fashioned. Think Archie Bunker, without the prejudice. Or, Fred Flintstone. I do not mean to sound disrespectful, just real. He is a mans, man. That sort of thing.</p><p>He does not see any value in "talking things out."</p><p>It is what it is.</p><p>For now, she is not allowed to be here, when I am home. Huh. Not much of a solution, it still makes me seem like the "bad guy". At least it will avoid confrontation. I can compromise with that. Maybe her love for her father, will help her to see the light? Maybe this kindness he offers her, will help her see. </p><p>It is <em>loving detachment</em>, this does not mean we have to cut our d cs off, completely. </p><p>They need to know, that we love them, <em>and we do.</em> </p><p>They are hurting just as much as we are, more. They are ill. </p><p>She is able to have a decent relationship with her father. Not me.</p><p> I am not able to sit silently and listen to the story of her being beaten, and held captive. </p><p>She has been very disrespectful to me, to our home. It is unacceptable. It has become such an <em>antagonistic</em> relationship, I cannot be around her, while she is using. </p><p></p><p>I just pray, before it is too late, that she will find a way to choose recovery.</p><p></p><p> I really don't even think that crosses their minds, what <em>we go through</em>. I do not think it matters to them, as long as they are using. The only thing that matters, is the next fix. </p><p>Everything else, is just in the way.</p><p>As for the badge, it is affixed o<em>n my heart</em>.</p><p>I feel a bit stronger, then the last encounter, but am haunted by the sight of her, in such a state.</p><p>I am saddened, that she <em>despises me.</em></p><p>I miss my daughter.</p><p>I love her.</p><p></p><p>Thank you IB</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 677184, member: 19522"] I don't know about jealous, it is more that I am "in the way." I think she feels [I]betrayed[/I]......like I am looking for attention and pity, by posting here. [I]It is her story[/I], too, as well as mine. This is not something one wants broadcasted. I do not think she has any idea of how devastating this is for me as a mother, how much it hurts. I do not think she understands that writing here, [I]is not for exposure[/I], it is a way to release the anguish. I have always had to be the one that has to "be the bad guy" and put my foot down, set the boundaries. It is usually when hubs is not around, so he does not get to see the interaction, and all of the disrespectful behavior. It is really[I] hateful. [/I] As the first born, she has always been her fathers favorite. She is usually more quiet, like he is. I also think, it is hard for a father to see his daughter go through this. It is hard for me, too, but we are at different places on this road. I understand that helping, is not helping. She is 36, she has got to figure this out. She is living a very dangerous life. I wish that too, but he is not the "counseling" type. Old-fashioned. Think Archie Bunker, without the prejudice. Or, Fred Flintstone. I do not mean to sound disrespectful, just real. He is a mans, man. That sort of thing. He does not see any value in "talking things out." It is what it is. For now, she is not allowed to be here, when I am home. Huh. Not much of a solution, it still makes me seem like the "bad guy". At least it will avoid confrontation. I can compromise with that. Maybe her love for her father, will help her to see the light? Maybe this kindness he offers her, will help her see. It is [I]loving detachment[/I], this does not mean we have to cut our d cs off, completely. They need to know, that we love them, [I]and we do.[/I] They are hurting just as much as we are, more. They are ill. She is able to have a decent relationship with her father. Not me. I am not able to sit silently and listen to the story of her being beaten, and held captive. She has been very disrespectful to me, to our home. It is unacceptable. It has become such an [I]antagonistic[/I] relationship, I cannot be around her, while she is using. I just pray, before it is too late, that she will find a way to choose recovery. I really don't even think that crosses their minds, what [I]we go through[/I]. I do not think it matters to them, as long as they are using. The only thing that matters, is the next fix. Everything else, is just in the way. As for the badge, it is affixed o[I]n my heart[/I]. I feel a bit stronger, then the last encounter, but am haunted by the sight of her, in such a state. I am saddened, that she [I]despises me.[/I] I miss my daughter. I love her. Thank you IB leafy [/QUOTE]
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