pre-trial hearing coming up for difficult child

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by barneysmom, Mar 18, 2010.

  1. barneysmom

    barneysmom Member

    Hello all,

    Gfg16's pre-trial hearing is coming up Mon. He's been in an unlocked step-down facility for two months. He's been a model detainee, which scared us. He's in juvie for third assault on a family member. Our home was a cycle of violence and all of us who remained have had mental health issues as a residual.

    Since last week Wed. I've seen that difficult child's thinking becoming more chaotic and disorganized, and many other symptoms that indicate he is not coping, not holding it together. Staff at the facility, who are dedicated, caring and professional, have confirmed this. They're not mental health professionals. Their job is to keep the kids safe. But in my opinion they might as well be professionals because of the way they work with the kids. They're very invested in difficult child.

    I called the P.O. to let him know. He called back and said he just saw difficult child, and difficult child is fine. difficult child was talking and laughing. He said we should prepare for difficult child to come home in a week or two. I told him what the staff had said and what I had seen. He ignored it. "I don't want to get in a dispute with you," he said.

    We saw difficult child again last night -- same deal. Apparently P.O's don't read the staff logs about the detainees. Today I called the P.O. and gave him a piece of my mind (on his voice mail). I was sure it was the right thing to do at the time, but now, I'm scared and feel I was impulsive. But I shouldn't second guess myself. I won't when I talk to the P.O. next -- I'll have my warrior rhino skin on. (Big fake -- terrified mom inside).

    Does anyone have any advice on how to educate myself on the legal system? Essentially difficult child has a mental illness and had several trips to the psychiatric hospital last year. No one helped us coordinate a plan. So he ends up in juvie. I don't know how to get into the system -- he is almost 17. I feel like I'm on Jupiter. I wish I was on Jupiter.

    Also, difficult child is a great player. I'm not sure what is true, and what is complete BS on his part. Master manipulator, great actor.

    It's scary that he's a temporary ward of the court but at the same time it's a relief. I'm still in shock at the level of chaos, violence and destruction of property in our home.

    Thanks for listening. Big hugs to all.
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    {{{Hugs}}} It sounds like the PO has a vested interest in opening up a bed. I haven't had to deal with juvie detention but it does seem to me that mental health issues are often ignored or minimized. I don't know what to suggest except to have a safety plan for the other family members. Does your difficult child 12 have a therapist? What does he/she think about difficult child 16's impact on your younger child?
  3. barneysmom

    barneysmom Member

    TM, thanks for answering. I can see where the PO would have a vested interest in opening a bed.

    Gfg12 has a therapist -- my todc too. difficult child 12 went into a big depression and regressed seriously, needing quite a but of therapy (me too). We've both had EMDR and I'm going to need it again just at the thought of gfg16.

    Meanwhile I've been looking into our options in residential for difficult child. I've read a lot here in the archives. Doesn't look good for SSI or Medicaid.

    I guess I'll just have to trust and state my case to the judge. It is a mental health issue, after all.

    I'm shoring myself up to stay out of the victim mode, whatever happens. Cleaning and painting the house to restore it to some kind of normalcy. Doing affirmations and trying to live in the present moment.

    Hugs to you and all
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wish I had some great words of advice. It sounds like you have been through so much. Sending gentle hgus and prayers your way.