Pregnancy question

K

Kjs

Guest
Those of you who have bio difficult child's. Did you have normal pregnancies or difficult pregnancies? If you also have a easy child was the pregnancy different?

When difficult child was a newborn / infant..was the baby difficult?

I had a perfect preganacy with easy child. If it wasn't for the obvious big belly, I would of never known.

difficult child - It was 12 years later so I was older. I was sick from day one. Didn't stop at 3 months, was sick every singel day the entire pregnancy.
difficult child was very jaundice. Even after we came home had to go back everyday to get his biliruben checked. Along came colic. The baby never slept. Along came ear infections. He would get ear infections while he was ON antibiotics. (ear infections overlaped with colic). I remember once putting him in his crib, calling the pediatrician and just saying, "make him stop".
difficult child lost 30% of hearing due to fluid by 9 months, so had tubes put in at that time.
 

Lothlorien

Active Member
I was sick all the time with Missy. For the first four months I had morning sickness all day long. I craved spicy foods (huh!) and she was extremely difficult as a baby. She was not really colicky, but did not nap well and she raged even then.

easy child...other than not testing positive several times in the first two months, even though I felt pregnant, that was fairly normal, except for a couple of sinus infections and a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI). He was such an easy baby right from the beginning. Slept wonderfully. In fact, he slept almost too much. He was such a quiet baby. He developed normally. I really didn't crave much when I was pregnant with him, either. I think I had a little morning sickness, but only a few times. He had jaundice when he was born. I was in the hospital with him the morning that Sadaam's statue came down. He did have fluid in his ears and needed tubes at 10 months. He has a little bit of a speech delay, now, but it appears to improve in leaps and bounds every so often.
 

hearts and roses

Mind Reader
easy child's pregnancy was a dream. I felt healthy and energetic and although I gained a lot of weight, I felt peaceful and her birth took about 3 hours, she popped out without incident and had a nearly perfect apgar and was a pleasure from the second she was born. She had freqent ear infections, but other than that and teething pain, she was easy.

difficult child was breech the entire pregnancy. I didn't gain much weight and I felt energetic but my plans to have her at home with my midwife didn't work out because even after a DR turned her around in utero, we stared in amazement as she flipped herself back so she was hi-knee first. I was overdue and sent to the local ER, where they delivered difficult child c-section by interns. The spinal didn't take and I had to be knocked out anyway but when I awoke I had spinal headaches which were extremely painful and lasted for over a week. I even had a blood patch to help, but it didn't work. difficult child was fussy and screamed at the top of her lungs for 3.5 months. Nothing worked. I nursed her till I was sore, held her, rocked her and I even put her in the swing at 1 month. Finally with lots of pillows for support I put her in the johnny jumper and she had the mobility she wanted and that was the only time she would settle down a bit. But she woke at 7AM and screamed until about 7:30 PM - no naps. I thought I would go crazy. I sometimes had to put her in her crib to let her scream while I stepped outdoors to just get a break. I would sit in my car and just sob. Then one day about 1/2 way into her 4th month she just stopped screaming. But she was a zoomer, never stopping moving.

Definitely a difference.
 

Shari

IsItFridayYet?
KJS

I was your opposite. Like Bizarro-World on Seinfeld...

easy child 1, I was sick from day 1 until he was about 3 months old. He screamed with colic 8 hours a day, every day for months. He puked up every formula known to man.

difficult child 2, I was really tired at the beginning and had a few bad headaches. That was it. Other than I knew he was hyper when I was 5 months pregnant and asked the doctor about Ritalin then. (Little did I know...HA!)

difficult child 2 didn't like to be held much, but he was an easy baby, content, liked to be in hs carseat or bouncy seat to sleep. Later, he liked to be put down in his bed to go to sleep, etc. Perfect baby for a single mome (which I ended up being not long after he came along...) Toddlerhood was a different story, tho.... Woah. Talk about sleep problems. Wow.
 

mum2JK&TH

New Member
easy child's pregnancy was actually more difficult than difficult child's. I had a miscarriage 6 months prior so we were all nervous. I started to bleed about 2 1/2 months into the pregnancy so we were constantly at the doctors to make sure it wasn't happening again. Delivery was quick and simple. She was a difficult baby, cried all the time and had issues with the iron in the formula. I don't remember sleeping during her first 4 months.

difficult child's pregnancy was uneventful. He was faced the wrong way at the beginning of my labor but flipped over before he came out :smile: He was sooooooo good for the first two weeks of life! Then what we thought was colic struck, little did we know it wasn't colic, it was just difficult child, haha! He also had reflux, man he could spew his formula across the room like it was nothing, haha!

 
easy child was a rather easy pregnancy. No nausea, a little bit of heartburn is all. Labor was a snap. 6 hours, start to finish.

difficult child...well, I was sore from day one. Pinched cyatic nerve. Charlie horses that would wake the dead. I was drinking mylanta by the bottle. I knew when she started kicking that she was going to be a handful. The kid did acrobatics in the womb. Then there was 36 hours of labor, and no epidural (because of the pinched cyatic nerve). After suffering through labor and a pit drip, and only dilating to 4, was I given a C section.

Oh, and I very wisely had my tubes tied.
 

1905

Well-Known Member
When I was pregnant with difficult child, it looked like my stomach was boiling because difficult child was kicking nonstop-I remember say the baby is going to be hyper. Before he was born I said this, and yes....he is. on the other hand easy child kids, my next pregnancys- barely any kicking in comparison. One of them had not even kicked me at 20 weeks. But the ultrasound showed all was well. They are normal.-Alyssa( But everyone is diffrent so don't even compare, just listen to your Dr.)
 

slsh

member since 1999
thank you's pregnancy was simple, no complications other than he was a week late and by that point I had decided I wasn't going to deliver, I was simply going to explode. My first preg I delivered 10 weeks early, so a full term preg was a bit surprising, LOL. Upallnight, I had to laugh. I remember holding Boo, standing in the kitchen trying to make dinner, probably real close to 40 weeks, and thank you kicked me so hard I just about dropped everything, LOL.

He did have pretty bad jaundice - we ended up staying in the hospital an extra day because of it. But he was an absolutely *perfect* baby. Ate well, hit milestones ahead of time, was a complete joy. Maybe a couple of ear infections but really very healthy and about as perfect as they come.
 

busywend

Well-Known Member
I was very sick with my son through the entire pregnancy. He was stillborn.

With difficult child not sick at all, felt great! However, she was delivered via Emergency C Section due to her constant movement during the stress test. Suppose to get 10 minutes of movement and 10 of non-movement. I sat there for an hour and a half pushing the button because she did not stop at all. She must have been ready!
 

Steely

Active Member
Wow, interesting thread. I can't compare because I only have one child - but he is enough. I was sick the entire time with him, he kicked up a storm day and night, had the hiccups almost every day, and he would stretch his arm so far within me that I thought he might push my rib cage out. I knew from conception this child would be high energy.

The labor was fine, but he had colic for 6 weeks. The only way he would stop crying was for me to hold him upside down, with the palm of my hand pressing into his tummy. I paced the house like that day and night forever. Once he found his thumb, he was better, but I could not satisfy his appetite through breast feeding, and he would scream and cry because obviously I was not giving him enough milk. I went to the bottle, and he could chug a bottle of formula in under a minute. Then he became allergic to milk, and spit up every 5 minutes until we finally figured out the allergy and switched him to soy. I could go on and on - but you know the drill. High maintenance baby - not much has changed.
 

Martie

Moderator
I may be weird to respond since both my kids are adopted but I like to remind "y'all" occasionally about "The Parenting Experience Survey" many of you completed 18 months ago. Why? To thank you once again :smile: and remind you that two more surveys are on the way. I guess you could say they are gestating :smile:

According to the information 627 of you provided, about half your difficult child infants were "difficult" from day one and about half were "easy" babies. There was a small group whose infants had a specific medical problem, and after that was addressed....all was well.

I was surprised because infant temperament is one of the MOST stable psychological traits. Therefore, I assumed that most difficult children would have been very difficult babies....That's why research is important: it is best not to assume.

Martie
 
G

guest3

Guest
both difficult child's were 2 weeks late

difficult child I, I was 19 and he was only 5lbs 4 oz's, it was a long labor (15 hours) and he had jaundice. He was a good baby but was allergic to dairy until he was 2 (soy formula). He was sick alot as a baby/toddler/child and still gets sick alot now (sigh). I did not nurse him and he had all his vaccines.

difficult child II, I was 25, he was 9lbs 5 oz's, it was a 8 hour labor start to finish. I nursed him, he was rarely sick, still is rarely sick. But he was fussy and always hungry. He also had all his vaccines.
 

totoro

Mom? What's a difficult child?
Both of my G'sfg were easy normal pregnancies, both 3 weeks early, both the same weight (2oz difference). They were both pretty easy babies as well, K started head banging at 6 months, N became a tornado at about 11 months when she could walk. The only developmental thing was K- late potty training- 4yo.

Both started showing signs of all of their symptoms more severly around 2.5 yo.... hmmm???

Both nursed, K longer (17months and 9 months). Neither was sickly. Both immunized.
 
K

Kjs

Guest
difficult child would kick so hard (when I was pregnant) the whole bed would shake. Both pregnancies were very fast. From the time water broke to birth - 10 minutes??

difficult child didn't like to be held, cuddled. Would rather lay on a blanket on the floor, or in a chair. When he wasn't crying, which wasn't often.

He too was on a special formula. I think it was the most expensive made. I remember him breaking out in rashes so many times pediatrician made a comment early on (months old) that he was sensitive inside and out.

When I think about the awful pregnancy and first year, I think he was a difficult child from the moment of conception!
 
I remember Tink stretching her foot out (probably when I was about 8 months along). I'd be in the store with DEX and all of a sudden we'd see thing foot scrolling along my belly. He'd grab a baby shoe and put it on her foot from outside my belly. That was actually cute.

Then she's resume her regularly scheduled backflips.
 

Marguerite

Active Member
I also remember answering a lot of this in the Parenting Survey.

For me, pregnancy wasn't necessarily an indicator. I have an irritable uterus and the problems were worse with each successive pregnancy. Also, a problem I had with easy child which I didn't have with the others - placental insufficiency. Basically, the placenta started dying off before she was born. If it hadn't been for a vigilant doctor i would have lost my baby in the last weeks of pregnancy.

With the other three pregnancies, the contractions began earlier each time. With easy child is was 26 weeks. With difficult child 1 it was 24 weeks. With easy child 2/difficult child 2 it was 18 weeks and with difficult child 3 it was 12 weeks. Strong Braxton-Hicks, getting so strong they would stop me in my tracks. I was on medication to stop labour developing. They had me on salbutamol for the boys, but only on Ponstan for easy child 2/difficult child 2. By the time I was pregnant with difficult child 3 I could no longer tolerate Ponstan so I was on salbutamol, 3 mg, every three hours. I have wondered if the salbutamol could have affected their brain development and contributed to both boys having Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). Of course the doctor said no, but he would, wouldn't he? I had a different doctor for the last pregnancy and I have deeply regretted it, he did me so much damage.

difficult child 3's delivery - he should have been a caesarean birth, his head was too big. His head was moulded down to 38 cm circumference and I could find no fontanelles for the first week; he had a seam down the back of his skull where the plates overlapped. The ligament at the front of my pelvis parted and I had to wear a brace for six months afterwards to hold my pelvis together. And yet - at the time, difficult child 3 was such an easy baby, it seemed.

Early development was different for them all. There was noting abnormal apart from difficult child 1 being an incredibly insecure, sooky baby always wanting to be held - and he attached VERY fast to some people and not to others, plus he hated being the centre of attention and would wake for feeds every two hours, through the night, even at 18 months of age; easy child 2/difficult child 2 was VERY difficult to get to sleep from about four months to about 10 months - she would sit and scream in rage at having been put to bed, absolutely exhausted and eyes closing, then fall asleep sitting up and wake again as soon as she fell over and her head hit the pillow. Very exhausting. difficult child 3 HAD to have HUGE feeds as a baby but loved being cuddled to sleep until at about 3 months he taught himself how to go to sleep when he needed to - he would almost throw himself out of my arms and into his cot when he had been cuddled enough. But difficult child 3's early obsession with flickering light, then letters and numbers, was weird.
All of the kids were alert, active, clearly smart. All milestones met at the same time roughly (apart from language in difficult child 3). Toilet training was slow and difficult, for both boys. Bowel training was the worst for difficult child 1, and bladder training the worst and most delayed for difficult child 3.

Basically, this isn't always an indicator. But I do wonder about the salbutamol. I think I've asked Sara about this, I can't recall. But all thoughts welcome.

Marg
 
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