hi! I'm new here, but believe it or not, I can't find anything online about this. This'll be a long post, so I'll give history first, then place the actual issue after a "******" line so you can just scroll down. HISTORY: My only daughter, 2nd child, has always been stubborn. This could be a good thing, i.e., she taught herself to ride her friend's bike before H&I had a chance to teach her. She is smart, but she uses it to manipulate. She's always had a rebellious streak. She never did hard drugs, but she's done practically everything else. She's 30, now, and has been kicked out several times. She keeps returning home after burning bridges of roommates. While here, she makes our lives a living 7734. She treats us like she owns the house. I.e., she waits until we start sorting laundry, then takes over the machine, claiming she was just getting ready to do laundry. She has busted every appliance in the house. If she doesn't get her way, she screams to the top of her lungs a high shreak that sounds like she's being repeatedly stabbed. If we try to leave; retreat to our bedroom, for example, she follows us to the room and bangs on the door. She doesn't know how to dialogue. She only knows how to carry on a one-sided conversation. For fear of being interrupted, she doesn't pause to take a breath. If we cut her off, she screams and starts over. Yet, if we don't say anything (like, "yeah" or "I agree"), we are "ignoring her". We can't just walk away. She follows us and abuses us verbally. She doesn't contribute to anything around the house unless she decides to. When she does (such as her laundry), she kicks me out of that room, as if it's her house. H&my relationship was deteriorating. I saw signs of an affair. He began treating me with disrespect. She pulled a knife on me, and I passed out from fear, causing a broken shoulder. At that point, after surgery and PT, I bailed and moved in with friends for a couple years. I'm not proud of that, leaving my husband to deal with her, but suicide was always on my mind. We maintained a good relationship throughout my absence. But he was always calling, frazzled. She'd begin an argument an hour before he had to leave for work. He'd tell her that he had to get ready for work, but then, "he didn't care about her. He only cared about his precious job". She'd bang on the bedroom door, screaming the entire time he was getting ready for work. She'd try to block him from leaving the house. Many times, while I was away, he'd leave the house hungry. She'd be right there yelling, while he was trying to prepare dinner. I cringe now, when I think about how I left him. She couldn't keep a boyfriend. They would hit her, and she'd leave them asap (which we taught her, rightly so). Hubby has never lifted a finger to me, nor I to him. So she wasn't repeating a pattern, looking for a replacement abusive male figure. I think she brings people to the brink of physical violence. I don't agree with men hitting women...but I can understand why they do it, in her case. She could never keep a job. She had a great one with awesome benefits. But, soon, she was let go. She claimed the bosses treated her like trash, and everyone else was treated with respect. She joined the army, and was soon kicked out. She said her sergeant singled her out, and she developed headaches. I imagine they just couldn't put up with her. She returned home for a while, stole our entire nest egg, thousands of dollars, then left and went hiking with friends in a foreign country. We had raised her in a small house, and she was a pretty good kid, even though she was a bit strong headed. She'd disobey, but she didn't yell at us. That all began after puberty seemed to hit. That's when all the terrorizing began, and -between her lack of responsibility, smashing things, and my depression, - the house got very messy and worn down. She broke things that we didn't have money to repair: the washing machine, the stove, the faucets, walls, doors, windows, etc. If we weren't buying her food, we were replacing broken items she smashed in a fit of anger. After my daughter left the country, H&I decided to buy a new house and have a new beginning. It's been great! We've been spending so much time together, going on walks, preparing for his retirement. She returned to the states and moved to New York, where she found a job. That didn't last long. She must've burned her bridges, but she lost her job. Her roommates kicked her out, since she stopped paying rent. She wanted to move back home, but we denied permission. She started living in shelters, where she met her boyfriend. We were concerned for her, but she knew how to take care of herself. We figured she would land on her feet. I knew there was one manipulative card she hadn't played, yet; and I cringed when I thought about the possibility. ******************************************** About two months ago, our single 30 year old daughter showed up at our door; said her boyfriend beat her, knocked her out, so she left him. I told her to find friends and crash with them. She did that for a couple weeks, then was kicked out. Once again, she showed up at the door. This time, she tossed down that dreaded card: she was pregnant. My worst fear. I had predicted this. As very faithful Christians, we had taught her "marriage first". But she has never respected any morals we've taught her. I threw up my arms and opened the door. I am firmly convinced this was a manipulative tactic to get back in our home. I can just hear her telling her friends, "They won't let me come home...I'll just get pregnant! They'll have to let me in!" She doesn't need a baby. She can barely take care of herself. He doesn't need a mother like that. Every suggestion we've offered to help her get back on her feet has been shot down with an excuse. "Get a job"..."I have no car"...."then get a job within walking distance"..."can't lift heavy objects"..."flipping burgers isn't strenuous"..."it's stressful. Being stressed out isn't good for the baby"..."the hotel is close by. You can be a maid"..."I don't want to expose my fetus to germs"... So far, she has been so sweet. And she's been cleaning things, as if she is taking care of her own home. But that's the problem. I feel like she's waxing her own car. Her true colors have came out recently, and she kicked me out of my own kitchen. When I confronted her, she started up. I know things will get worse. She begins acting real sweet until she manages to dig in her roots. Once she's secure and confident about her permanence, she starts treating us like scum. I know it's going to get worse, when she has the baby. I'm 54 years old, been looking forward to spending the next chapter of our lives together with hubby. I know she's going to expect me to care for the baby. She's going to get a job as soon as the baby starts becoming a responsibility, and I'll be left raising him (it's a boy). We all know that a paying job is much easier than raising a kid. She's going to bail! Leave me with taking care of the kid! My psychiatrist and psychologist have already warned me that this task is too much on me at my age. My psychologist told me I should find a shelter for her. My daughter has stolen all our savings, and we haven't recooperated; so we can't help her financially. The guy who "knocked her out" is the father. She doesn't want him to know about this, due to obvious reasons. If she applies for assistance, they'll look him up for child support. Last night, I began packing my bags. Then I stood up and took back what's mine! I REFUSE TO LEAVE MY NICE HOME ONCE AGAIN!! I'm not going to put my husband through all that again. She did this to herself. I told her, regardless of what happens, I want her out before the baby is born. I already resent her and the baby. The poor fellow hasn't done anything wrong. I understand that. He doesn't deserve any of this. I'm afraid of how I will treat him, if he lives here with us. I already have a granddaughter from my son. It wouldn't be fair to him or the family if daughter and grandson ate all our recourses. Even if a he consider adoption, she would need the father's signature. She told me all his family are drug addicts. I don't even know what to believe any more. I don't even know if he really knocked her down. But I do believe she purposely got herself pregnant. I don't know what to do. Believe it or not, there are so many non factors in this novel that I've omitted. But they really don't apply. I don't like the thoughts that have entered my head, lately. Things I've always been taught against doing have been spinning around my brain. I love my daughter, but I hate the way she's treated us. I hate the way she's finally found a way to neatly tie our hands. What choice do we have now?