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Parent Emeritus
Pregnant 30 year old
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 724145" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>You have to do what you can live with, and I know it's hard to think of not taking your daughter in, but, I believe, in your heart of hearts, you know that taking her in will destroy you and your husband's lives, and it will not change her.</p><p></p><p>I've had to do this hard thing, and it hurts, and I struggle with guilt and fear, but I have done it. Like you, our daughter was raised well, but undiagnosed mental illness (Borderline (BPD)) and addiction emerged in her early adulthood. She is on baby number two and has left both abusers. We have taken her in, bank-rolled her, and on, and on. None of it has worked.</p><p></p><p>This last time we did not take her in. She has cut all contact because she says we are horrible parents. I have to live with that, but I will not live with being abused in my own home.</p><p></p><p>Taking care of yourself and your husband is essential for your well-being, and ultimately for all. You didn't cause your daughter's bad behavior, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. Only she can do that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 724145, member: 19832"] You have to do what you can live with, and I know it's hard to think of not taking your daughter in, but, I believe, in your heart of hearts, you know that taking her in will destroy you and your husband's lives, and it will not change her. I've had to do this hard thing, and it hurts, and I struggle with guilt and fear, but I have done it. Like you, our daughter was raised well, but undiagnosed mental illness (Borderline (BPD)) and addiction emerged in her early adulthood. She is on baby number two and has left both abusers. We have taken her in, bank-rolled her, and on, and on. None of it has worked. This last time we did not take her in. She has cut all contact because she says we are horrible parents. I have to live with that, but I will not live with being abused in my own home. Taking care of yourself and your husband is essential for your well-being, and ultimately for all. You didn't cause your daughter's bad behavior, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. Only she can do that. [/QUOTE]
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Pregnant 30 year old
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