Pretty or ????
- Thread starter susiestar
- Start date
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Well maybe it doesnt come in a size 6x or lower which is what we have been buying. I doubt girls that size are learning algebra.
H
HaoZi
Guest
Hmmm just did laundry and Kiddo has a "Smart girls rule" sweat shirt. 
hearts and roses
Mind Reader
I hate those!! Feels like my head is going to explode when I see kids wearing them!!!
LittleDudesMom
Well-Known Member
Well, I'm biased and think my easy child is pretty.....but really, I have raised both my girl AND boy that beauty within is what counts in life. I have tried my best, from a very, very young age, to have my children participate in helping others, teaching empathy, etc. It's the major part of beauty in a person, at least that's my opinion. And using the phrase "beauty within" is something my son understands as well.
Sharon
Sharon
southermama3
New Member
Janet that's the only kinds of shirts I've seen too. My girls wear PS aeropostal shirts more than anything and all that says err sales is their logo.
Now their walmart shirts say stuff like "BFF" like outer sayings and their Disney shirts usually say princess or something.
Now my sons clothes say stuff like "my daddy rocks" or "if u think I'm cute u should see my mom"
I'm going to go out on a limb and hopefully I don't start a battle on here.
First let me start i try to be open minded and non judgmental to things.
Tell me how u all feel about this.
A few weeks ago I passed a family in walmart they were lesbians and had twins. Their shirts said "gay and proud with the rainbow" the other said "I'd rather have two mommies than a daddy any day" ---ummm what do y'all think is that appropriate for a toddler to wear?
Now their walmart shirts say stuff like "BFF
" like outer sayings and their Disney shirts usually say princess or something. Now my sons clothes say stuff like "my daddy rocks" or "if u think I'm cute u should see my mom"
I'm going to go out on a limb and hopefully I don't start a battle on here.
First let me start i try to be open minded and non judgmental to things.
Tell me how u all feel about this.
A few weeks ago I passed a family in walmart they were lesbians and had twins. Their shirts said "gay and proud with the rainbow" the other said "I'd rather have two mommies than a daddy any day" ---ummm what do y'all think is that appropriate for a toddler to wear?
H
HaoZi
Guest
Toddlers puke and get dirt all over their clothes and generally aren't reading yet. I don't think it's the toddler that's affected by what their shirt says.
We all force - or at least, urge - our beliefs on our children. It's part of parenting. As they get older, hopefully we're open to hearing their beliefs, too.
Just as toddlers can't read, they also can't understand the beliefs they are being required to project. But others can, and some adults and other children will treat the babies differently because of the words on their shirts. So I don't think kids should wear any political message (which fundamentally this is), even in most cases if they've chosen it themselves.
Meg learned this the hard way as an older teen. The liberal stickers on her VW made her a target in the small town we lived in. Her car was secretly sabotaged (lug nuts loosened) and we had to take severe precautions. She was outraged that she was asked to "suppress her beliefs" in her words ("tone down the car" in ours), but her safety was paramount. She's still an activist, and we're proud of her, but much more aware of the impact of her public beliefs on her kids' relationships.
Of course, I did get DGD a "Make Art, not War" tee - but that's pretty innocent, don't you think?
Just as toddlers can't read, they also can't understand the beliefs they are being required to project. But others can, and some adults and other children will treat the babies differently because of the words on their shirts. So I don't think kids should wear any political message (which fundamentally this is), even in most cases if they've chosen it themselves.
Meg learned this the hard way as an older teen. The liberal stickers on her VW made her a target in the small town we lived in. Her car was secretly sabotaged (lug nuts loosened) and we had to take severe precautions. She was outraged that she was asked to "suppress her beliefs" in her words ("tone down the car" in ours), but her safety was paramount. She's still an activist, and we're proud of her, but much more aware of the impact of her public beliefs on her kids' relationships.
Of course, I did get DGD a "Make Art, not War" tee - but that's pretty innocent, don't you think?
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
I dont think its inappropriate for children for to wear shirts about their parents whether they are straight or gay. Straight parents have little shirts about their baby's so its no different but I am sure they are a bit harder to find.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
That is completely political and not a subject for this board.
Susie--
I answer to your question:
Do I think that there is a new emphasis on "pretty" and focusing on one's appearance - (setting the feminist movement back several giant steps) ?? Absolutely!
I do think that we (as a society) are objectifying our daughters worse than ever before.
How to fix it? For starters - turn off the TV once in a while! We don't need to watch any more shows about how we need to look, or dress, or impress the judges with our appearance.
Second - get kids involved in "real world" activities that benefit the community. Scouts is good. Volunteer opportunities are good.
Third - make sure kids get to experience many different kinds of people in many different kinds of situations (see "volunteer opportunities" above). It's hard to emphasize appearance and "pretty" when one is collecting toothbrushes for kids in other countries at risk of losing their teeth due to non-existant dental care.
Just my $.02
I answer to your question:
Do I think that there is a new emphasis on "pretty" and focusing on one's appearance - (setting the feminist movement back several giant steps) ?? Absolutely!
I do think that we (as a society) are objectifying our daughters worse than ever before.
How to fix it? For starters - turn off the TV once in a while! We don't need to watch any more shows about how we need to look, or dress, or impress the judges with our appearance.
Second - get kids involved in "real world" activities that benefit the community. Scouts is good. Volunteer opportunities are good.
Third - make sure kids get to experience many different kinds of people in many different kinds of situations (see "volunteer opportunities" above). It's hard to emphasize appearance and "pretty" when one is collecting toothbrushes for kids in other countries at risk of losing their teeth due to non-existant dental care.
Just my $.02
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
One can do all those things and still be pretty. At age 3, Keyana was the Mini Miss Peanut Ambassador and collected over 250 cans of food for the local food bank. She also collected money for breast cancer at a dollar a signature for the Susan B Kolman walk and she walked over a mile herself. At 4 she went to the state NC Princess Pageant , won Most Beautiful, and sold $150 worth of candles to go towards Victory Junction. She also won Robeson County Pretty in Pink and brought in over $200 when walking for the Walk for a Cure.
All this doesnt count the fact that she plays in the sand, swings at the park, goes to school like any normal kid, rides her bike, fights with her brothers, goes fishing with her papa and loves NASCAR and Pro Football. Oh and she can help skin a deer. She is a normal girl who just happens to be pretty, and nice. I dont think its a crime to be pretty and for her to know it or for us to tell her. She has told me she wants to grow up to look like me when she becomes a grandma because I am the best kind of grandma so she cant be all bad.
All this doesnt count the fact that she plays in the sand, swings at the park, goes to school like any normal kid, rides her bike, fights with her brothers, goes fishing with her papa and loves NASCAR and Pro Football. Oh and she can help skin a deer. She is a normal girl who just happens to be pretty, and nice. I dont think its a crime to be pretty and for her to know it or for us to tell her. She has told me she wants to grow up to look like me when she becomes a grandma because I am the best kind of grandma so she cant be all bad.
Janet--
If she is doing all those things...then she is "beautiful" inside and out. There is nothing wrong with being pretty.
It becomes wrong when "pretty" is the end-all be-all. As though being "pretty" is some sort of accomplishment.
It is great to hear your opinions on this. I don't disagree with the overall feeling that pretty is overrated. I DO think praising good hygeine and taking care of yourself is excellent but NOT the only worthwhile goal.
Hound, the snacks thing seemed to be a mom trying to steer the girl from one sugary unhealthy brand name snack to a less expensive sugary unhealthy not brand name snack. Or at least that was the action being taken. It made NO sense to me. I guess if you were trying to teach your daughter to model or something where looks were huge then you might use it to steer them to fruits and veggies, but to do it to get the kid to pick a cheaper box of sugary whatevers? I don't get.
Jess was an incredibly beautiful baby. We had people giving us business cards for modelling agencies and pageants and all sorts of stuff. Those are not bad things, but they also are not something we were interested in. Because Jess never seemed interested also, we mostly thanked them and went on. When she was about 18mos old I noticed that the ONLY thing that non-famly members said to her was about how pretty she was. It really bothered me. So I started calling her my "strong smart girl" because those are things we value more than pretty. I think it has been a good thing.
Janet, JC Penneys came out with an entire LINE of clothing with sayings like the ones you haven't seen. They are designed for juniors. I find them as horrible as I have many of their past attempts at "cool", like the homeskool shirt they came out with and were crucified over - it had more than that word but all I remember is that and that it was horribly misspelled. I have a HUGE problem with ANYONE telling a girl that they are too pretty to learn or do homework or algebra or almost anything else. It is a MAJOR reason that I won't go into Penney. Ever. At least not in my town. I have used the bathroom at one in the mall because it was the closest one and I couldn't walk to the other one.
Hound, the snacks thing seemed to be a mom trying to steer the girl from one sugary unhealthy brand name snack to a less expensive sugary unhealthy not brand name snack. Or at least that was the action being taken. It made NO sense to me. I guess if you were trying to teach your daughter to model or something where looks were huge then you might use it to steer them to fruits and veggies, but to do it to get the kid to pick a cheaper box of sugary whatevers? I don't get.
Jess was an incredibly beautiful baby. We had people giving us business cards for modelling agencies and pageants and all sorts of stuff. Those are not bad things, but they also are not something we were interested in. Because Jess never seemed interested also, we mostly thanked them and went on. When she was about 18mos old I noticed that the ONLY thing that non-famly members said to her was about how pretty she was. It really bothered me. So I started calling her my "strong smart girl" because those are things we value more than pretty. I think it has been a good thing.
Janet, JC Penneys came out with an entire LINE of clothing with sayings like the ones you haven't seen. They are designed for juniors. I find them as horrible as I have many of their past attempts at "cool", like the homeskool shirt they came out with and were crucified over - it had more than that word but all I remember is that and that it was horribly misspelled. I have a HUGE problem with ANYONE telling a girl that they are too pretty to learn or do homework or algebra or almost anything else. It is a MAJOR reason that I won't go into Penney. Ever. At least not in my town. I have used the bathroom at one in the mall because it was the closest one and I couldn't walk to the other one.
Malika
Well-Known Member
??? I fear you miss the point of my post. I was saying nothing about whether it is right or wrong for gay people to adopt children. I was saying that THAT is the important issue here, not what is written on a t-shirt, which is just a reflection of that reality. Oh well...
