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Pretty sure this is my worst day ever!
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<blockquote data-quote="WhereIsTheLight" data-source="post: 39426" data-attributes="member: 3673"><p>Amber, my difficult child has been restrained and sedated. I held her head in my lap for two hours at the psychiatric hospital one night while she begged to go home, promised to be good, and said she loved me, all the while crying, sobbing. All while we were being monitored by the nurses station by closed circuit TV. It was heartwrenching to tell her I couldn't take her home and fix her pain, that she needed to go through with her treatment and that, yes, I promise, I will be back. She was nearly the same age as your son.</p><p></p><p>That was over four years ago. She returned to the psychiatric hospital once after that, having swallowed all her anti-depressants because she was mad at me. When she arrived, the staff told her basically, "Cut the crap. We know you are better than that and you'll not get attention from us". She hasn't been back since (although there were days I would have liked to put her there).</p><p></p><p>I guess I can offer you this: you say you're son is smart and you have a tight bond. I think this will pass. Someday, it'll be a month ago, a year ago, four years ago since this horrible episode. It hurts now, don't I know it, but it just seems to be part of the program for our difficult children, and the letting go part is just as much tough love for us as it is for them. I remember from my Al-Anon days that just because it's the right thing to do doesn't mean it feels good. So many of us and our difficult children have survived the darkest hours. And even though I've just evicted my difficult child because of her attitude, I can tell you with an honest heart, that nothing, absolutely nothing, was as bad as when she was actively and acutely depressed and cutting. Not when she was in juvy, and not now when she is out on her own nursing a broken jaw. </p><p></p><p>I pray for your strength and health. I began seeing a counselor when this was going on - I hope you have some support, because I went through this basically on my own, broke and in a lousy, low-paying job, and with a DEX that was very, very angry at me for divorcing him and he did everything to twist the knife at the time. </p><p></p><p>You and your son will get through this because you have the basics: a strong bond and intelligence. And whatever good that will come out of this experience just won't be apparent to you for a very long time. God Bless.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WhereIsTheLight, post: 39426, member: 3673"] Amber, my difficult child has been restrained and sedated. I held her head in my lap for two hours at the psychiatric hospital one night while she begged to go home, promised to be good, and said she loved me, all the while crying, sobbing. All while we were being monitored by the nurses station by closed circuit TV. It was heartwrenching to tell her I couldn't take her home and fix her pain, that she needed to go through with her treatment and that, yes, I promise, I will be back. She was nearly the same age as your son. That was over four years ago. She returned to the psychiatric hospital once after that, having swallowed all her anti-depressants because she was mad at me. When she arrived, the staff told her basically, "Cut the crap. We know you are better than that and you'll not get attention from us". She hasn't been back since (although there were days I would have liked to put her there). I guess I can offer you this: you say you're son is smart and you have a tight bond. I think this will pass. Someday, it'll be a month ago, a year ago, four years ago since this horrible episode. It hurts now, don't I know it, but it just seems to be part of the program for our difficult children, and the letting go part is just as much tough love for us as it is for them. I remember from my Al-Anon days that just because it's the right thing to do doesn't mean it feels good. So many of us and our difficult children have survived the darkest hours. And even though I've just evicted my difficult child because of her attitude, I can tell you with an honest heart, that nothing, absolutely nothing, was as bad as when she was actively and acutely depressed and cutting. Not when she was in juvy, and not now when she is out on her own nursing a broken jaw. I pray for your strength and health. I began seeing a counselor when this was going on - I hope you have some support, because I went through this basically on my own, broke and in a lousy, low-paying job, and with a DEX that was very, very angry at me for divorcing him and he did everything to twist the knife at the time. You and your son will get through this because you have the basics: a strong bond and intelligence. And whatever good that will come out of this experience just won't be apparent to you for a very long time. God Bless. [/QUOTE]
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