prison gift

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Teriobe, Apr 14, 2017.

  1. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    I dont know. Part of me wants to get son a prison tv, like he had first time, for his birthday /xmas gift. I cant imagine no tv and not knowing about the world, news, and i think its better than him reading fantasy books all day for 2.5 years. But he did steal from us. He did pay back with taxes. But still. I dont know.......
  2. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    Also, he is in protective custody cuz he doesnt want to go into general population and deal with the b.s. always looking over your back. In protective custody, you cannot have a job, go to any meetings, nothing. Your in a cell 23hrs 1hr outside. He feels safer that way, but im concerned for his mental health
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Maybe I'm not the right person to weigh in on this, since substance abuse was not one of the issues we had, but I wouldn't reward him for being back in prison.
  4. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    He was abusing drugs. I just dont know if i want his head in fantasy books for 2.5 yrs.
  5. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I may be wrong too because my adult kids were mever in jail. But I tend to like them to face their consequences without softening it. I dont feel they learn if we make it easier.

    This is your sons second rodeo in prison. Not a good track record. He can go to general population like most inmates, work, go to school, work on his addiction and progress. Or he can stay locked up 23 hours and, with your gift, watch TV all day. I would send him non fiction books about AA and Addiction for his birthday. Maybe some true books about adult addicts who turned their lives around. Maybe even religious material. I would rather he read constructively,if he insists on protective custody, rather than watching reality shows and sitcoms. Do you really think he will watch CNN all day? If he likes the news, get him a newspaper subscription. A TV? No way. I feel strongly about it.

    If it were mine Id want him where he can get help rather than locked up for 23 hours where he can hide his entire sentence and not grow. How will that help him for when he gets out? You csnt fprcr him to change wherr he is, but you dont have tp reward hom for wasting all the perks that prison offers. He neefs AA, a job, school...not Beverly Hillbilly reruns.

    I vote no on the TV. It could harm him. He would do best in my opinion with exposure to healing and how to get over his addiction. You dont want him to do this another round.
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2017
  6. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    I would be tempted to stay on protective custody, too. Are books and TV the only things he's allowed to have in the cell? He could start setting goals for himself by lifting weights. Personally, I think TV makes people depressed and lazy. One thing on TV that would help his stress level and pass the time would be to turn on a yoga or exercise show and work out along with it. I assume he would be allowed to do yoga in his cell. Anything else on TV might make him more anxious and depressed.
  7. StillStanding

    StillStanding Active Member


    I often disagree with opinions I see on the forum. I don't think they're wrong, they're just not the same as my thoughts.

    I think your son is experiencing the consequences of his actions. Providing him with a TV isn't going to give him back his freedom. If I felt like giving him a TV, I would give him a TV.

    I've started using a different "test" for myself when trying to decide between enabling vs helping. If my "easier child" asked for this, would I provide it? If my "easier child" needed a ride to a doctor's appointment, I would gladly provide it. I don't need to live in the past or continue to punish my child for things he's done in the past. Obviously, it doesn't always work. I would give my "easier child" $20 if she needed and I would never give that to my addicted child. But, mostly this is working for me.

    Good luck with whichever you decide.

    You are not alone.
  8. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I wouldn't get him the TV. I think they are limited in what they can watch in prison anyways.

    I also wouldn't just send him self-improvement books. Send him some biographies of "self-made" individuals, and of historical figures from long ago. Send him books on history and politics and philosophy.

    Send him books on science (for the general public). Let him educate himself while he's in there.

    I'm self-educated. I quit attending school at around 14-15. I had a rather advanced education for my age due to the specialized programs I went through before that time, but I continued on on my own.

    Who knows? He might be inspired to learn more about one or more subjects, and in doing so, learn about himself.

    Send novels too. Not pulp, but classic novels by authors such as Pearl S. Buck, Mary Renault, and others. I got my taste for history from these authors and others that I read as a child.
  9. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    Like high school, he gets bullied because hes a skinny redhed white guy. You look at someone crooked in prison, they want to fight. And if you refuse, everyone knows it and can bully you around. If you refuse to fight the white group will tell you to fight or get off yard. Your own turn on you. He doesnt want to play the game. He had fights first time. I understand, but he will miss out on job, which only pays .35 cents and if your working in the kitchen you will be bullied into stealing sugar or stuff by others. They are animals in there and i can understand the bullying he dont want to deal with. I tell him, well you shouldnt of gone back there, duh I will think on this more
  10. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    I did send two books, NA Anonymous and another drug abuse book.
  11. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Try sending him some books that will expand his horizons instead of drumming on his faults.The NA and other drug abuse books are fine, but he's more than just a drug user. Help him to see that.

    He's more than a con. More than a skinny white kid with red hair. The right books can help him learn that.
  12. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    There are no weights allowed in prison because if riots. He can only read, exercise the old fashion way. Mind you two people in each cell, cell is small.
  13. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    See, im getting sucked in again trying to help him see the light. Damn!
  14. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    He will see the light faster if he is bored to death and never wants to go to prison again. Tv will make it more tolerable and the time will go faster and he wont have to reflect on what he did and where he is. For our pigheaded adult children, they seem to really need to (I hate to use this word but...) suffer in order to change. This is his second time. You want him to NEVER want to end up there again, not become cimfortable there and unafraid to go there a third time.

    Our adult kids tend to change the most, if there is any hope for them, whrn they realize Mom wont help them out for doing bad things. When we are no longer available to dry their tears.

    Get him a newspaper subscription for his birthday. Or something similar.
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2017
  15. StillStanding

    StillStanding Active Member

    "He's more than a drug addict..." "He's more than a con."

    Thank you for that comment.
  16. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Never been in your situation... But here is my 2 cents. How about a radio? If they let them have a TV, they probably allow a radio. Much cheaper. Less time consuming. Less negative things to watch.

    Is this something that they get to keep once they leave the prison? Or is this a fee that is charged and the prison keeps it once they are released?

    Plus, if you can do a radio, I would wait a while. It's not Christmas yet... Ksm
  17. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    No. They do not get to keep the TVs or radios. They are expensive and especially made for the prison "store" system.

    Last I heard, and this was quite a while ago, a tiny TV cost more than $300.
  18. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    Yes he got to bring tv and everything he bought home last time in prison. Arizona
    I know there are cd players with radios
  19. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    That's good, Teriobe. It's changed a bit, or more likely, varies from system to system.

    I (thankfully) don't have a lot of experience with jails/prisons, and most of what I have is with IL/WI state and county. (Milw and Cook (Chicago)) back in the 70s.

    I know Joliet, IL (penitentiary) didn't let you keep stuff "back when".