Probably have no child care.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Shari, Jun 28, 2011.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Pretty sure Wee got himself kicked out of the summer program he was in today. He struck one of the "teachers" after he got frustrated.

    I have no idea what I'm going to do with him now.

    I don't even know what to do or say to him. He wants to make koolaid and watch tv...grrr.
  2. Rabbit

    Rabbit Member

    I am sending hugs and sympathy. Rabbit
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Do you know what got him frustrated? I take it there is no hope of explaining the situation with the "teacher" and educate them on how to handle him? Chances are really good that they didn't handle the situation in a HELPFUL manner. If they are like most, THEY caused the problem. Then again, that JMHO.

  4. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I hope they're willing to keep working with him.
  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    TeDo... its the same ol', same ol'.

    This place is the early intervention preschool that he attended when he was itty bitty. They are excellent, generally speaking. Except, for their summer program, they use a lot of "regular" folks and college kids, and this year, they are having to operate under the same guidelines and rules as any other daycare instead of as a special needs school. I knew that going in.

    Today, his regular "teacher" was out (I did not know this). Strike one. He was tired. Strike two. There is a boy in his room that is impaired, probably mild MR, but I really don't know. Today, this boy wanted to play in Wee's fort, and Wee didn't want to share. The teachers told him he had to. He got frustrated and went into the bathroom and slammed the door.

    And I'm am sure you can guess from there.

    They followed, you can't do that, must come out, blah blah blah, and instead of letting him cooled off, they pushed his buttons and he got mad and hit one of the teachers.

    I can see it a mile away, but I really don't think it will do any good to point it out. It is what it is. I have not received any communication from the director, so there's a very remote possibility that she'll overlook it, but I doubt it. I knew this was the deal going in, we just hoped it wouldn't be an issue.

    It was.

    Just so frustrating. Very soon - heck, already - he can be charged for said behavior, regardless of why he explodes. I'm feeling a bit defeated tonight - if he can't stop that fundamental behavior, what good is the good fight? And while that behavior is drastically reduced? Its not gone.
  6. ready2run

    ready2run New Member

    my psychiatrist told difficult child's school that he could not be kicked out based on similar behavior because of his diagnosis, that they should have guidelines in place and should be following them and that kicking him out based on behaviors related to his diagnosis was discrimination and they would be held accountable for that. maybe something along those lines, phrased more politely could help? even if it was a normal daycare they would have to make acceptions based on a childs disabilities. they can't just expect a difficult child to go easy child on them because they don't want to use their tools.
  7. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Nicely put/good idea r2r. Give it a try Shari. It can't hurt anything. Maybe the mention of "discrimination" will help. It can't hurt, can it.
  8. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I don't think it will work, but its worth a shot. Its not a school, so they aren't obligated to keep him; and daycares aren't under any requirement to keep a child that is physically violent, regardless of why. Tho I have wondered about citing ADA....
    Will see what tomorrow brings. I had planned to work from home tomorrow part of the day, anyway. I expect I'll hear from the director.
  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Shari, I get so frustrated over these situations with Wee. I can't remember all the various things you've looked into but I know you've gone to great lengths to get him help from various sources. So just because I'm still half-asleep and my memory isn't too good right at this moment, I'm going to ask this anyway- have you had him evaluation'd at a Children's Hospital that might have some specialized treatment/therapy that goes above and beyond what typical tdocs would be able to offer? I'm thinking he needs above normal therapist therapy but REALLY specialized play therapy or something. Not that I'm saying it's Wee's fault, but I think you are correct, he's getting to an age where people ITRW will look more for ways to get him removed from their care instead of for ways to make things work out. And while I understand that you know methods that minimize meltdowns and aggression from him, as he gets older others are going to use their own methods, right or wrong, more and more.

  10. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Shari, I had to resign from one job due to day care issues & the tweedles; was let go of my last position due to the nonstop antics of kt & wm. It's frustrating when childcare & difficult children don't mesh.

    Saying that, far too late I heard of a foundation here in town that runs a special needs daycare. Would you have the same in your area?

    You have my deepest empathy ~ I feel your pain, sweetie.
  11. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    K, we've been on board with the children's hospital since we started this ride. Supposedly they are the best of the best. problem is, they won't accept his diagnosis of Asperger's from the psychiatric because they do their own testing, and their own testing says he's too social to be an Aspie. In fact, they missed the dyslexia diagnosis (multiple times) and they have only diagnosis'ed him "severe ADHD". And without their buy-in for the additional diagnosis'es, he doesn't qualify for their social skills and behavior programs, and, of course, he's not bad enough to be in-patient, where the only other groups like that are.

    And then, there's one other program that brings in a case manager to coordinate services, but there's a waiting list a mile long, and kids with medicaid get priority over kids with private insurance, so even if we've been on the list for 5 years, if any kid jumps on the list that's on medicaid, they are accepted. Needless to say, I'm not banking on that. And really, his docs and county case worker say I do as well as any assigned case mgr would. So I don't feel we're missing anything there, really, except stress off my back.

    The doctor we saw in OK was on the board of a private school created especially for Wee's, but there's nothing like that available here unless he gets a record and gets sent to a boys town type program. And then, unless he has to do residential, its a day program that generally takes the place of school. The residential facility is about 3 hours away.

    And the doctor was arrested, anyway, so who knows that status of the school he chaired and helped to form...

    Linda, I read am article a couple years ago in the Wall Street Journal about parents of kids with special needs. One of the people they interviewed for the article had a son with Autism, and he said that at first, everyone was sympathetic to his situation, but as the years dragged on, his boss started saying "Yeah, i get that your kid has problems, but when will the crisis be over?"

    In their article, they said on average, parents of children with long-term special needs lose their job after 7 years. Honestly, I have eeked and squeaked by several times already by the skin on my teeth and am shocked I haven't lost my job yet. I think of you and K...its a very broken system/world. I hope to God someday I can use what I've learned to somehow make it a little better for those to follow. It shouldn't be this hard to support your family.
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I think I'd nicely demand a re-evaluation from the Children's Hospital where it sounds like they have services that could help him, if he could get in with a certain diagnosis. I don't think I'd care what that diagnosis was at this point and at his young age. Can you tell them you have updated info and ask for a re-evaluation and them let them know how extreme this is getting? WTH re they recommending? Surely they don't think the typical therapist and psychiatrist therapy is going to have any major impact????
  13. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    They've evaluation'ed twice. And is the reason we went to the doctor in OK, which seemed a lot more competent.

    But yeah, drugs and therapist are there answers. I work with our county case worker to attempt to make play dates into little social skills sessions, but I'm not qualified. Trying to find another dev pediatrician now, since the guy in OK is out...
  14. BeachPeace

    BeachPeace Guest

    I am a RN. I left my hard-fought very successful career in healthcare administration.
    I wish I could say I had a choice, but I really did not.
    Chldcare was a nightmare for me.
    No matter who said what where - I was getting called by noon every day to come to school/come home/come to center.
    Now I stay in my PJS all day, clip coupons and rarely leave my house.
    I wish I had some advice for you..... I am sorry you are going through this.
  15. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    BeachPeace, I love your quote! I may steal it for my "collection".

    My husband, while generally a lazy butt, occassionally says things worth hanging onto, and once said there isn't a problem in the world that enough hours in the saddle won't solve. Yup...

    There has to be an answer for kiddos like ours, but where do you find it? I wish I knew. Maybe I can create it.
  16. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest