Profile Change

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by PonyGirl, Dec 3, 2007.

  1. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Found out tonite from difficult child's girlfriend.....

    He's been drinking for almost a year now. Since last February.

    And now, he's smoking pot again, too.

    Can't give you the words to say how disappointed I am.

  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    So sorry, Pony. Such a disappointment. :frown:
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Oh, Pony I'm so very sorry! :frown:

  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I'm so sorry, Pony.

    sigh. :frown:

  5. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    Don't ya hate when the truth just smacks ya in the face??

    I'm so sorry. What a great disappointment.
  6. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    So sorry....addiction is such a powerful thing and its difficult even as an adult to battle, let alone an imature twenty something. I know your pain......
  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I'm so very sorry {{{Pony}}}.
  8. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat


    I am SO sorry.

    He'll be my "addict who still suffers" prayer for awhile...
  9. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Thanks everyone. Helps so much to come here and unload, knowing you will all carry a piece of my pain for me.

    BBK....your words mean a lot to me. My 'moment of silence' has always been for ant. It is always so powerful for me, to give that moment. Thank you for giving yours to my son.
  10. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    PonyGirl, Very sorry to hear your news. Thoughts and prayers for you, difficult child, and your family. Here We Go Again (seems more appropriate to you than me at the moment).
  11. Scent of Cedar II

    Scent of Cedar II New Member

    I know how discouraging that can be, Pony.

    How did it happen that the girlfriend told you?


    P.S. I lost my password again, and so, had to re-register.

  12. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Pony....Big hugs. I'm so sorry.

  13. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    difficult child has been telling me that he & girlfriend have been having problems since around August or so. In my talks with difficult child, I had felt he was being honest and mature in owning his feelings and trying to work thru them.

    They had called off their engagement, but continued to stay together. They live in the house they bought. (House is only in girlfriend's name, as per his nasty credit history they wouldn't get loan approval with his name on it.)

    I hadn't seen difficult child too much since the 4th of July, as I hadn't been traveling to the AA Meeting we used to go to every week. I put the lack of contact down to him working 70+ hours a week, etc.

    difficult child showed up at my house Sunday afternoon, still telling me about problems with girlfriend. difficult child having the classic Committment Issues, and also really had never been on his own, I understood where he was coming from, felt bad for the struggle he was having.

    During none of these conversations did I ever ask him if he was staying clean & sober. He did not volunteer any news on that subject. He did say, girlfriend wants to come and talk with me about stuff. I was open to that, girlfriend is a sweetie and I'd do whatever I could to listen and give support.

    girlfriend called me last night, and came to my house. She said difficult child isn't giving me the whole story, and that he's been drinking since February, and over the summer has started to smoke pot again.

    Things all clicked for me then, the lack of contact, the tired eyes, the not going to Meetings.

    I've lost all trust in him again, that's what kicked me in the gut. And it will only be a matter of time until he drops dirty on a UA with his PO, and goes back to jail.

    Other than those two issues, I'm trying hard to find acceptance and DETACH. Nothing I can do.

  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending supportive caring thoughts your way. I am sure it must be especially difficult for you when you "know" how addictions
    effect life over the years. Body parts crossed that he will jump
    back on the wagon pronto. Hugs. DDD
  15. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I'm so sorry to hear this and I know how dissapointing it is when you think they are doing so well.

    You will all be in my thoughts and prayers that he can once again turn his life around soon.
  16. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh, Pony, I'm so very sorry. Looks like you need some time on the PE lifeboat. Climb on in ~ I've got the oars.

    Sending hugs, my friend.

  17. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    So sorry Pony. It is hard seeing our kids make the worst choices they can make. Sending you support and caring thoughts. -RM
  18. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Well, after a day of smoking too many cigarettes, and a night of low-sleep, and almost constant prayer, and especially knowing I have so many caring friends around me, I do believe I am feeling better tonite. :smile:

    Just have to wait and see what the future brings, and try to remember, this isn't really happening to me. It's happening to my son. I can't live his life for him, or correct his mistakes, blah-blah-deblankin'blah....

    Thanks for gathering around me. And Kathy, hold 'er steady for me! I'm coming aboard! :warrior:

  19. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    Pony I will keep my fingers crossed that he gets back on the right track before he gets in trouble. Have you spoken to him since you found out this information?

    I am so sorry for your broken mommy heart.
  20. saving grace

    saving grace New Member

    SO sorry Pony, I know what your feeling my thoughts will be with you and difficult child, Lets hope he recognize soon that he has relapsed and get back on track.