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Substance Abuse
Protecting Ourselves from Adult difficult children
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 636816" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>And a big NO CONTACT with JT is the way to go here. Sociopaths do not change. On one level you understand that but you seem to have a hard time following through <em>because</em> YOU are a decent human being, the opposite of what a sociopath is; and because of that, boy is that something that they will do/can do with ease; prey upon your basic human decency. All these things you are thinking about, grandparents, your son, Thanksgiving, your legal will etc - if you were having these same thoughts about a non-related sociopath, what would your choices be? JT, because he is a sociopath, is not a member of your family <em>because sociopath's can't be part of a loving close group.</em> They are a tribe of one: me, myself, I. Every thought they have revolves around self. Knowing that, how would you protect Bubby from a stranger sociopath? To protect yourself, your other son and family, you have to delve deeper into the understanding how seriously damaging a sociopath can be. When I have doubts about my own sociopath daughter I usually go to YouTube and watch video's of sociopath information and that puts me back on the right path. Hearing someone else say what I already know to be true has a comforting effect as in; we are not bad parents because we can't be around a sick and damaging person - even if, or especially because they are what we consider to be ''family", as that is something <em>THEY, </em>actually are able to hold against us by manipulating are sense of basic human decency. Bubby's life can not be affected if you are in NO CONTACT with JT. In planning for JT, you have to be willing to say out loud - Bubby's older brother is a sociopath so how can I best plan to protect him in the future? </p><p></p><p>Once you are able to go to NO CONTACT, JT will move on to others he can victimize, possibly, as you indicated, other family members, and as they go to NC he will just move on to other people to victimize. Trust me, there is no special connection to you/your family , it is just for him, you are all easy prey. You are easy to victimize - and a sociopath gets great delight in being able to torture <em>anyone!</em> When I first went to NC I changed my telephone numbers and blocked email etc. It is easy to stay NC when you are not letting their craziness into your home. Things become peaceful and life begins to go on, and well then we are able to make the right choices for ourselves and our loved ones because we are not longer caught up in games of manipulation and control. (Which is the basic bottom line of a sociopath, they act this way because that is who they are.)</p><p></p><p>Try to keep researching Sociopath information to access how dangerous a sociopath JT is. (Like I said You Tube is a great resource.) If he is not violent, (although his thrill killing of animals is a huge tip off) YOU don't have to move, as you follow though with NC he will probably move on.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 636816, member: 18366"] And a big NO CONTACT with JT is the way to go here. Sociopaths do not change. On one level you understand that but you seem to have a hard time following through [I]because[/I] YOU are a decent human being, the opposite of what a sociopath is; and because of that, boy is that something that they will do/can do with ease; prey upon your basic human decency. All these things you are thinking about, grandparents, your son, Thanksgiving, your legal will etc - if you were having these same thoughts about a non-related sociopath, what would your choices be? JT, because he is a sociopath, is not a member of your family [I]because sociopath's can't be part of a loving close group.[/I] They are a tribe of one: me, myself, I. Every thought they have revolves around self. Knowing that, how would you protect Bubby from a stranger sociopath? To protect yourself, your other son and family, you have to delve deeper into the understanding how seriously damaging a sociopath can be. When I have doubts about my own sociopath daughter I usually go to YouTube and watch video's of sociopath information and that puts me back on the right path. Hearing someone else say what I already know to be true has a comforting effect as in; we are not bad parents because we can't be around a sick and damaging person - even if, or especially because they are what we consider to be ''family", as that is something [I]THEY, [/I]actually are able to hold against us by manipulating are sense of basic human decency. Bubby's life can not be affected if you are in NO CONTACT with JT. In planning for JT, you have to be willing to say out loud - Bubby's older brother is a sociopath so how can I best plan to protect him in the future? Once you are able to go to NO CONTACT, JT will move on to others he can victimize, possibly, as you indicated, other family members, and as they go to NC he will just move on to other people to victimize. Trust me, there is no special connection to you/your family , it is just for him, you are all easy prey. You are easy to victimize - and a sociopath gets great delight in being able to torture [I]anyone![/I] When I first went to NC I changed my telephone numbers and blocked email etc. It is easy to stay NC when you are not letting their craziness into your home. Things become peaceful and life begins to go on, and well then we are able to make the right choices for ourselves and our loved ones because we are not longer caught up in games of manipulation and control. (Which is the basic bottom line of a sociopath, they act this way because that is who they are.) Try to keep researching Sociopath information to access how dangerous a sociopath JT is. (Like I said You Tube is a great resource.) If he is not violent, (although his thrill killing of animals is a huge tip off) YOU don't have to move, as you follow though with NC he will probably move on. [/QUOTE]
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