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Substance Abuse
Protecting Ourselves from Adult difficult children
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 636906" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>I agree with what others have said. I also can imagine how hard this is. I wonder about my son being a sociopath or having some sort of antisocial personality disorder... however I do feel like he has real attachment to us. I just dont think he has much of a moral compass...but I do feel he loves us in his own way. He certainly loves drama and does some stupid, screwy things but except when he is angry with us he doesnt do things to intentially hurt us. I dont know what I would do if he did the kind of things JT does to you..... but I think you really do need to take care of yourself and your younger son. And if that means walking away that is what it means. You need to do what you have to do for you.</p><p></p><p>What I have been feeling lately, and in a weird way it gives me peace is ...It is what it is, it will be what it will be, whatever is going to happen is going to happen. It really is me giving up any real sense of control over my difficult child or his destiny. All we can do is take care of ourselves.</p><p></p><p>And in no way is this your fault. I think that is usually true even with bio kids.... but with adopted kids we are getting kids with wiring we sometimes dont really understand because it is not the way we are. And if you didnt get JT until he was 4, then he has a whole lot of history that had nothing to do with you and that early history makes a huge difference in a persons makeup.... like others have said real attachment issues.</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 636906, member: 15801"] I agree with what others have said. I also can imagine how hard this is. I wonder about my son being a sociopath or having some sort of antisocial personality disorder... however I do feel like he has real attachment to us. I just dont think he has much of a moral compass...but I do feel he loves us in his own way. He certainly loves drama and does some stupid, screwy things but except when he is angry with us he doesnt do things to intentially hurt us. I dont know what I would do if he did the kind of things JT does to you..... but I think you really do need to take care of yourself and your younger son. And if that means walking away that is what it means. You need to do what you have to do for you. What I have been feeling lately, and in a weird way it gives me peace is ...It is what it is, it will be what it will be, whatever is going to happen is going to happen. It really is me giving up any real sense of control over my difficult child or his destiny. All we can do is take care of ourselves. And in no way is this your fault. I think that is usually true even with bio kids.... but with adopted kids we are getting kids with wiring we sometimes dont really understand because it is not the way we are. And if you didnt get JT until he was 4, then he has a whole lot of history that had nothing to do with you and that early history makes a huge difference in a persons makeup.... like others have said real attachment issues. TL Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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