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Substance Abuse
Protecting Ourselves from Adult difficult children
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 639748" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>I really feel for you and what you are going through. Once one understands that their child has facets of being a sociopath, whether the full diagnosis or just tendencies it is heartbreaking. When I faced this, (my difficult child is an only child) it drove me to an emotional breakdown. Fortunately I had the support of my husband, his family and my best friend to see me through this dark time. Discovering that your child is a sociopath or has the same tendencies is extremely distressing because you then have the knowledge that you need, whether you want it or not, that you have to do something to protect yourself and your loved ones from the actions of the difficult child. It is like the grief for someone dieing with the same 5 steps of grieving: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, depression and Acceptance. (Although we can bounce back and forth through any stage over and over again) I think the bargaining, in dealing with a Socio-difficult child can more be described as we go through self blame and wondering what we did wrong and how we could have prevented it. I know it helped me to talk to a psychiatrist that helped me to understand that for my difficult child the signs where there early - at the crawling/early walking stages with behaviors of control that she displayed. My difficult child has also showed signs of rage and aggression and hugely inappropriate behavior. She is lucky she is not in prison for some of her behaviors but she is also as she self calls her self "the great manipulator". </p><p>Anyway, I can completely empathize with what you are going through and as I said I understand how heartbreaking coming around to the acceptance part of the grief process is very hard because our child is still here. So it is back and forth we go until something in us awakens to the fact that we may be better off without them in our lives. You may get to that point, you may not but at least you with the thought process in place you are going down a path that will bring YOU to a point of safety from the painful acts foisted on you by your difficult child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 639748, member: 18366"] I really feel for you and what you are going through. Once one understands that their child has facets of being a sociopath, whether the full diagnosis or just tendencies it is heartbreaking. When I faced this, (my difficult child is an only child) it drove me to an emotional breakdown. Fortunately I had the support of my husband, his family and my best friend to see me through this dark time. Discovering that your child is a sociopath or has the same tendencies is extremely distressing because you then have the knowledge that you need, whether you want it or not, that you have to do something to protect yourself and your loved ones from the actions of the difficult child. It is like the grief for someone dieing with the same 5 steps of grieving: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, depression and Acceptance. (Although we can bounce back and forth through any stage over and over again) I think the bargaining, in dealing with a Socio-difficult child can more be described as we go through self blame and wondering what we did wrong and how we could have prevented it. I know it helped me to talk to a psychiatrist that helped me to understand that for my difficult child the signs where there early - at the crawling/early walking stages with behaviors of control that she displayed. My difficult child has also showed signs of rage and aggression and hugely inappropriate behavior. She is lucky she is not in prison for some of her behaviors but she is also as she self calls her self "the great manipulator". Anyway, I can completely empathize with what you are going through and as I said I understand how heartbreaking coming around to the acceptance part of the grief process is very hard because our child is still here. So it is back and forth we go until something in us awakens to the fact that we may be better off without them in our lives. You may get to that point, you may not but at least you with the thought process in place you are going down a path that will bring YOU to a point of safety from the painful acts foisted on you by your difficult child. [/QUOTE]
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