PS2 at 3 a.m.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Jan 28, 2009.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Last night I checked on difficult child ... he wasn't in bed ... I woke up husband and asked where difficult child was ... turned out he was downstairs playing PS2, he leg hanging over the arm of the La-Z-Boy, a huge hunk of chocolate in his hand.
    The only reason I kept my voice down was because I was too tired to shout. "What are you doing?"
    "I was bored. I already slept."
    "You are getting up to go to school tomorrow no matter what."
    "I know."
    He got up to turn off the TV and husband showed up and told him to go to bed. I was glad husband actually had to get up and take part in this ... I am tired of being the Bad Guy.
    So, this a.m. difficult child is downstairs at 7 a.m.--playing the PS2!!!
    (Hey, at least he was awake!)
    "Where did you get that controller?"
    "In your bedroom."
    That is against the rules and he knows it. Consequences ...
    Right now he's in the shower and he will be picked up by carpool in 5 min. I just want him out the door so I can not have my schedule ruled and ruined by his erratic behavior.
    I am so tired. So fed up.
    I know darn well that the reason he didn't get up for school yesterday was because he was up in the middle of the night.
    Thanks for letting me vent.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately, we can't stay up all night to see what our kids do. My son likes to sneak junk food when we're all sleeping...grrrrrrrrrrr. We try hard to teach him to eat healthy as he has a weight problem.
    Try to have a good day and don't let this ruin it :)
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Terry, it seems he's showing a lot of signs of something going on. I think it might be a good idea to log this stuff down, along with moods, sleep patterns, ability to still function the next day, etc., and discuss it with psychiatrist, not just therapist. I know he's breaking rules by entering your room and playing gaames in the middle of the night, but he really might not be able to sleep normally right now.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I know, we were warned that he could be Aspie AND bipolar, and that it would take yrs to figure out ... I can't be sleep deprived the rest of my life so I have to figure this out. Our psychiatrist appointment is in two wks. She's going to get an earful.
    Considering that the Zoloft made him mildly manic, and he's somewhat manic now, this is not just depression, in my humble opinion.
    I thought I heard footsteps, but only woke up completely at 3 because the dog woke up and shook, and her tags clinked. Dogs are always a good warning device.
  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    I remember those days with kt &/or wm. I'd be so exhausted sitting up in the same room to insure nothing was damaged or there were no unsafe behaviors.

    I finally locked up all sharps & junk food, laid down some very strict laws (must attend school no matter what, loss of priviledges, etc) if either of them made any trouble during the night. I always felt lucky that it was only one tweedle up at a time.

    In the long run, I made sure there was plenty of exercise after school (we joined the Y for winter activities), ate dinner fairly early, used medications prescribed for sleep, set up a routine before bedtime that included chamomile tea, reading & the sleepy time CDs. It took a good 2 years before we had sleep through the night.

    You have my empathy. I hope you find something that will work for your difficult child & your night/early morning settles so you can sleep.
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Exercise. Of course.

    I just emailed an acquaintance to ask him how much he charges for tutoring and generally keeping difficult child busy after school, with-baseball and basketball. He could just come to our house ... we've got a big yard.
    This way, I can pull difficult child out of aftercare, which seems to be going down the tubes with-his behavior anyway, and use the $ instead for one-on-one.
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Believe me, I completely understand.
  8. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Terry, can you describe the behaviors you observed when he was taking Zoloft? How long had he taken Zoloft when you discontinued it and at what dose?
  9. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I am sympathizing here--I woke up at 5am, and difficult child was wide awake playing with legso. I have no idea how long he was up. I thought the legos were a good idea for him,but now I wonder. He is just as obsessive about them as he is the ps2 or even the games on my cell phone. I guess at least they are not electronic.

    Hugs, and maybe take a nap today?
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Terry,
    I so remember the days of no sleep because difficult child was up till all hours. Generally he never fell asleep til 11 at the earliest, often it was much later and then he would wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning. He always woke us up though-never let us get any sleep. I hated that we had to go to sleeping medications for him but there was no way we could function on so little sleep. He never seemed to be bothered by the lack of sleep. Hugs and I hope you get some real rest soon.
  11. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    sorry you are having to operate on lack of sleep - it's the worst!

    I love the idea of a mentor/supervisor!

    I kinda feel for difficult child as well if he is having sleep issues. Must be tough for him to hold it together all day. Wonder if the aftercare issues are related to lack of sleep for him?

  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I wrote about it a cpl wks ago ... I'll try to find the link.
    He took 1/2 of a 25 mg pill for 8 days, and we were supposed to remove the Clonidine at night, and then gradually remove it in the a.m. We removed the Clonidine and he did okay for a day or two and gradually got bossier.
    He also seemed a bit hyper, almost like his Adderal wasn't working. Like he had ants in his pants. He talked a lot. It was an underlying agitation and slightly raised energy level. He spent a lot of time on the phone, at the same time he was playing PS2.

    He would fall asleep around 10 at night, sometimes even 9, due to the Vistaril. Then he'd wake up any time between 2-3 a.m. Sometimes he read, but that was only after we caught him playing on the PS 2 and locked everything up. He does not run around and scream at night, he just gets up and does what he wants to do.

    He falls asleep sometime around 4 or 5 a.m., and then cannot get up to go to school that morning. He is a monster if we try to get him up.
    He used to always rage in the a.m., but behavior modification helped a bit. The huge changes came after his recent psychiatric hospital stay, when we got him on the Clonidine and Vistaril. Those medications and a consistent routine helped immensely.

    We were backsliding about a yr ago, so we increased his Adderal to 25 mg. That helped a lot.
    Now we're backsliding again, but it's due to lack of sleep, even with the Vistaril. Also, the other night I gave him a Desmopressin, since I saw him drinking juice at 9, which is way too late, and he wet the bed anyway. It used to work 100% of the time.

    I think part of it is his hormones and growth level ... it's like nothing is working like it used to.
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Smallworld, you responded back then, and said, don't be too sure it's not the Zoloft. At that point, it was only 2 days. He is off of it now.
  14. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Terry, there's a difference between SSRI activation and SSRI-induced mania. Mania typically occurs at the 3-week or 3-month mark and involves intense anger and aggression. When it's mania, the anger and agression do not go away when the medication is discontinued.

    Activation typically occurs early on in treatment and is related to the medication or the dose. It looks like agitation and hyperactivity, but it generally does not have anger as a driving force behind it. From your description, it doesn't sound as if your difficult child had a true manic reaction to Zoloft.

    From what you say, your difficult child was doing better when he was rxed Adderall, Clondine and Vistaril after his psychiatric hospital stay. You swapped out the Clonidine for the Zoloft, but when you dropped the Zoloft, you didn't go back to the Clonidine. You may be aware that Clonidine is useful for calming and sleep purposes. Your difficult child may be having problems sleeping because he doesn't have Clonidine, along with the Vistaril, in him.

    Is there any chance of going back to the Clonidine now instead of having to wait for the psychiatrist appointment in two weeks?
  15. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    TerryJ2: I have this theory that in our cycle of life as teens we have this natural inclination to stay up late. Then when we are older and get the urges that also tend to keep us awake that result in pregancy, which for me meant waking up in the night,and then the introduction to maternity involves the longest nights of labor and delivery and after that the infant care and feeding schedule which secures a womans place in the sleep deprivation for the rest of her life.
    As an adult woman today when I look back on the myth that women are unstable due to menus I am aware that women have been operating on pure exhaustion since the dawn of man.

    This last few months have FINALLY shown my son to have awareness that he does not feel well without rest. One tactic I used was to talk about the delicious sleep feeling and how when a person sleeps regularly and gets enough we wake up refreashed and ready for the day. I did this on the way to school in my happy mother tones against the barrage of objections on mornings he was groggy and surly and had stayed up to late...(an urban form of waterboarding )
    yet another area where the shampo and repeat meathods are so useful.
    Getting all the ingrediants for the successfull sleep pattern: enough vigeurous activity to naturally exhaust the body, the habits that transition from wake to sleep like the tea ritual, and lower lights in the home, and reading time and soothing music or water sounds
    and the big guns: strict consequences that are unwavering and dire, firm boundaries like locking up the equiptment for gaming at night, as well as the cooperative dog
    And rewards...let it be a natural consequence type reward. Such as replacing the disgruntled, blurry eyed, hot tempered, and deliberately mean MOMMY MONSTER
    with her lovely pleasant twin Beautiful Mommy.
    Here are some tips for the night time directives STAY IN YOUR BED. BE BORED IN THE DARK AND DO STAY IN YOUR BED.
    Now when I am talking to my son about the rules I include the future people in his life (he complained that I do not have a life and therefor am 'unwilling' to let go of him....nice try, there son.) so I will say you need to know how to stay quiet in your bed and rest now because later when you are in a relationship you will need to respect that person or they will unravel into a screaming shrew and dump you.
    You can not show up at a job ungroomed and dull witted or you will loose you job.
    You have to be altert to drive a car.
    When the things we require are put into context so that our thinkers have more to go on than being 'in trouble all the time' with us.
    How can I praise you if you won't stay in your bed?
    It becomes a practise of handing them back THEIR PROBLEM.
    As a parent I feel a kinship to the one who says "he is looking at me"
    We need more responses like "Its time to put on your watch"
    Now for another cup of coffee...which is like "mommy beer"
  16. Star*

    Star* call 911

    You can be sleep deprived...........

    But you look, like, this......

    and you say things like this........


    And what you wish your kids would do is this.....
    :flowers: or at the least this...:flower:
  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    How can I praise you if you won't stay in your bed?

    I like that!

    Yeah, Star, I DO look like that. Except the bags under my eyes are bigger.:)
  18. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Just wanted to say I have similar issues with difficult child 1's sleep habits. He's frequently up at hours after midnight foraging in the kitchen for whatever suits him (usually chocolate or icecream, but sometimes canned fruit). He takes it back to his room where he plays his DS Lite until he passes out, and sometimes the food is not eaten so I find a melted bowl of mush or gooey stuff melted on his hands or face.

    If I catch him up late with the game on, I confiscate it. I should probably clamp down harder and just take it and hide it for a few days each time he pulls a late-night stunt like that.

    difficult child 2 on the other hand sometimes just cannot sleep, period. Even with the Seroquel XR. One night last week I suspect he didn't fall asleep at all, but tossed and turned all night. When I went in at 7am to wake him, he was half awake already and tearful saying he couldn't sleep at all that night. But in his case, he wasn't playing with anything, so I let him sleep in late that day. I'm still not sure what causes it and am keeping an eye on this.
  19. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Well, maybe a little harsh, but I'm not a really nice mom. I'd take the PS2 until he could prove to me he can stay in bed all night.

    Maybe give him some things, bedside, to help? A flashlight and a book for reading. A portable CD or MP3 player with headphones for listening to music. Stress balls to squeeze. Paper and pen to write.

    And, I'd either have no junk food in the house, or lock it all up. We have a very nice deadbolt installed on our bedroom door that would take 1/2 an Army to get through. SO had a blast installing that thing ;)

    Sorry he's not sleeping well. I think I mentioned the Melatonin to you. Have you already tried that? Usually helps D when he's in "manic" mode (or whatever that is that he's in LOL).
  20. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am worried about him sneaking into your room. Esp as he sees YOU as the mean one, the bad guy. In a state of mania, or fit of rage, he might come in and try to hurt you. Trust me when I say it is very scary to wake up and find a child with a knife standing next to your bed looking at you.

    I think the PS2 needs to be locked somewhere he cannot get to it (you have already had him get into your office, and into your bedroom)

    I also think you need to balance a bottle (glass one or an empty water bottle filled with beads or screws that rattle when it falls) on the doorknob, so it will fall if he opens the door. Or get a cheap door alarm at Radio Shack or wherever and put it on the INSIDE of the door so it will go off if he opens the door. You could also put one on the outside of his door to alert you if he is going to leave his room.

    I am so sorry you have all this to deal with. What does the psychiatrist say about all of it? The therapist??

    Sending hugs and support!