psychiatrist vs. therapist and neuropsychologist appointment.

[AtMyWitsEnd33]

I had our 4 week evaluation with my difficult child daughter's psychiatrist yesterday and left his office feeling very frustrated. The week before I had a conversation with the therapist (who sees us weekly and in my opinion knows us much better) about the possibility of trying some medications on my difficult child for her impulse control and behavior misconduct. She had me and difficult child's teacher fill out a Conner Scale and bring it to the psychiatrist appointment. HE DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AT THE SCORES!!!! He didn't care about this test for her at all. He is EXTREMEMLY conservative (which normally I like) and said that we have her Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) under control with therapy and can do the same with the behavioral part. UGH! Meanwhile, difficult child has no friends, her self esteem is plummeting and she is not a happy kid.
I am at the point where I feel that the psychiatrist and therapist's differing disciplines are not in difficult child's best interest. All the psychiatrist does is meet with us for 15 min every 4 weeks, the therapist sees us for an hour once a week. I feel like she should be calling the shots, she sees my desperation, she knows our family so much better. Does anyone else have a similar situation?
Additionally, the psychiatrist is male and my difficult child daughter has never been fond of men outside of our family (things with dads, uncles, grandfathers are fine) and will never fully trust this guy. I like him, in his own right he is a very good doctor, I just wish he would listen to the therapist a little bit. He calls the shots but has the smallest amount of insight and information. psychiatrist also told me to avoid forums, message boards and the internet because people will tell me things and send me into a panic. I explained that I need the support and am intelligent enough to discern pertinent info from psychobabble.
I don't mean to berate the psychiatrist, he is a good doctor and clearly keeps difficult child's best interest at heart, his approach is just uber conservative and I am a "take things by the b*&&s" to "git er done." I just want what's best for my kid and I want to see her happy -- having no friends at age 9 in 3rd grade is not making her happy.
Lastly, we are in the process of getting a neuropsychologist evaluation. Probably not for a few weeks but at least the ball is rolling. psychiatrist said not to rely too heavily on it; and said that her clinical signs and symptoms will prevail in deciding how we treat her. Another reason I was feeling frustrated.
Just looking for advice from some more experienced parents. . .

 

[BusynMember]

Hi there. I'm just one of a lot of experienced parents here. I have a son on the autism spectrum and my oldest one is grown, but he has a slew of psychiatric problems and so do I. Yes, a child can have mood disorders. I did. It ruined my childhood, which I just recall as being one big period of unhappiness, crying, and getting picked on. Back then, there was no help at all so I got no help at all and kept getting worse.

I give a professional 3-6 months to make a significant difference in myself or my child. If it's not working, I move on. His approach is obviously not the one your child needs. Your child sounds like he could use a neuropsychologist evaluation then, after you have the results, it's a good time to move onto a psychiatrist, sometimes one who trusts that neuropsychologist. I would be very uncomfortable with a psychiatrist who wanted to use therapy only when my child was having so many issues in so many areas. I would want a complete evaluation and treatment plan. If you aren't completely comfortable with him, I'd go elsewhere.

My own personal experience with my kids and myself are that I personally trust neuropsychologist testing and evaluating far more than psychiatrist's. Most of the time they don't test at all. Even sending the Connors to school is way too little. Many kids with different disabilities score high on the Connors, not just kids with ADHD. Good luck!

 

[confuzzled]

i'm going to second what MWM said.

if you arent completely comfortable with him, go elsewhere.

my biggest regret is trying to convince myself that my uber-conservative, 40+ year exp. psychiatrist was doing the right thing and I don't know, fear, the hassle, whatever kept us going to him--for two years.

it took roughly 2 visits with a new psychiatrist for a fresh perspective to show me that i wasted 2 years of my difficult child's life needlessly.

what specifically do you DO when you see this psychiatrist--i'm reading it as if he doesn't rx medications? i find that a red flag--its kind of in the job description.

 

[AtMyWitsEnd33]

One of the reasons i liked him in the beginning is because he didn't prescribed medications right away. I didn't want to use medications right off the bat without attempting to fix things with therapy first. Therapy has worked wonders for her anxiety which is very much under control at the moment. It's the defiance, behavior misconduct and impulsivity that are an issue right now. I am just at a point now where things are crumbling so quickly that I don't have time to sit around and rely on therapy. Problem is that psychiatrist and therapist are in the same practice and I ADORE the therapist - she is great for us and really gets our family dynamic and difficult child daughter adores her as well. If I leave the psychiatrist I lose the therapist and I am not willing to do that. She has made great improvements with difficult child's anxiety.
The neuropsychologist was recommended by the psychiatrist, they have worked together for 10+ years. Maybe if there is something that comes from the neuropsychologist evaluation it will change the psychiatrist's way of thinking?
This is very difficult because of our bond with the therapist. I am not willing to give her up. GAH!

 

[BusynMember]

in my opinion I'd go to a seperate neuropsychologist, one who is not connected with his doctor. If the psychiatrist doesn't trust him enough to believe his diagnosis, and tells you not to take him too seriously, I wouldn't trust him as a good neuropsychologist or I'd wonder why psychiatrist was sending you to see him at all. To humor you? To me it seems as if perhaps you have a rigid psychiatrist who is only going to do things one way...maybe it isn't the best way for your child.

You have some tough decisions to make. Too bad you can't see therapist on her/his own. psychiatrist is giving me big red flags and I've seen a lot of good ones AND bad ones in my life. Your child may or may not need medication, but certainly without a diagnosis, you don't know what is going on and you, as the parent, can't make the best decision for your child. There are school and community interventions that can help certain disorders. You aren't going to get them if you don't know what is wron

Again...good luck! Keep us posted!

 

[InsaneCdn]

I just want what's best for my kid and I want to see her happy -- having no friends at age 9 in 3rd grade is not making her happy.

Careful.
1) You do not have the power to make her happy.
2) You do not have the power to give her friends.

Redefine - for yourself - what you are really looking for.

Reduction in anxiety, improvement in mood, learning of social skills, behavior modification... THOSE are attainable.

 

[TerryJ2]

AMWE33, I agree with-the others. Find another psychiatrist. We went to one a cpl yrs ago who was just into prescribing the same thing for everyone. She did not connect with-difficult child at all. The new psychiatrist is much better, although hesitant to prescribe any new medications, when I, for one, am ready for a mood stabilizer for him. He is just plain miserable.
I agree with-Insane, too ... You cannot make her happy and cannot give her friends. You can give her tools but it's up to her to put things in action.
Believe me, I know how frustrating it is! I also agree with-Insane about reduction in anxiety for my difficult child, improvement in mood, improvement of social skills, and behavior modification, particularly in regard to respecting adults.