Steely
Active Member
So, as you guys remember last week, I went to the doctor, twice, for the chest pains, limb pain and tingling, high blood pressure, and loss of coordination I was having. The first time I went, interestingly, the new doctor immediately picked out in my history that I recently lost my sister - and she started focusing more on the stress in life than the symptoms. Interestingly the pains went away for 2 days. I was then accused of harassment by an employee that I manage (a completely fabricated story, and false in every way), and all the physical symptoms came back times ten. Instantly. I went back to the doctor, and she XR some Xanax. Within 20 minutes my symptoms were completely gone. So, it is obvious now, that my body is physically reacting, in a pretty intense way, to the stress I am under.
But here is my big problem. This employee that has accused me of harassment, has actually been doing undermining, hateful horrible things to me. She has been the perpetrator, not me. Unfortunately since this has now escalated to a legal level, every time I even see her, let alone when I am near her, my heart starts to race. Sat she really embarrassed me in front of a really large group of people by saying something rude, and I felt like a gazelle being chased by a lion. My whole body went into a flight or fight mode, and I could not calm down. It was not a mental thing - but a physical thing. Mentally I can reason, that soon she will be fired. (No, I cannot fire her now, because she has brought these allegations against me - but someone will, soon.) Physically, however, even writing about this, is starting to give me another anxiety attack, or trigger PTSD, or something.
I have had PTSD for years, (from abuse by a father, 2 husbands, and unfortunately my own difficult child at times). Being around this person and a victim to her insults ignites something primitive in me, something that seems mentally out of my control. Something that I feel like I cannot physically control, and it always happens at work, obviously.
What should I do???
Have you ever had this happen?
I can take Xanax every time it happens, but that can't last for long. I need to be able to overcome this. It is obviously mental, but it is manifesting itself so physically, that I feel at a complete loss.
Thanks for any advice.
But here is my big problem. This employee that has accused me of harassment, has actually been doing undermining, hateful horrible things to me. She has been the perpetrator, not me. Unfortunately since this has now escalated to a legal level, every time I even see her, let alone when I am near her, my heart starts to race. Sat she really embarrassed me in front of a really large group of people by saying something rude, and I felt like a gazelle being chased by a lion. My whole body went into a flight or fight mode, and I could not calm down. It was not a mental thing - but a physical thing. Mentally I can reason, that soon she will be fired. (No, I cannot fire her now, because she has brought these allegations against me - but someone will, soon.) Physically, however, even writing about this, is starting to give me another anxiety attack, or trigger PTSD, or something.
I have had PTSD for years, (from abuse by a father, 2 husbands, and unfortunately my own difficult child at times). Being around this person and a victim to her insults ignites something primitive in me, something that seems mentally out of my control. Something that I feel like I cannot physically control, and it always happens at work, obviously.
What should I do???
Have you ever had this happen?
I can take Xanax every time it happens, but that can't last for long. I need to be able to overcome this. It is obviously mental, but it is manifesting itself so physically, that I feel at a complete loss.
Thanks for any advice.
