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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Put the detachment in motion - and the gaslighting begins.
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 699451" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I agree with everyone, don't respond. </p><p></p><p><em>"this is also where I usually cave in and start having a dialogue with her to get her to see that we love her but not her behaviors, which leads to a tolerable stand-off where daughter gets what she wants and I feel temporarily comforted that she is safe and not raging."</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>That's your pattern with your daughter, she knows it too, so she will be expecting that response from you.......this is the next step in detaching, <em>do not respond to nasty communications......</em>REFRAIN. And, keep on refraining. She will likely contact you once she realizes the pattern no longer works and it may get even nastier as she has to confront her own consequences. Stay strong. Keep posting.......you're doing well and often it doesn't feel very good as you change your own behavior. Hang in there.....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 699451, member: 13542"] I agree with everyone, don't respond. [I]"this is also where I usually cave in and start having a dialogue with her to get her to see that we love her but not her behaviors, which leads to a tolerable stand-off where daughter gets what she wants and I feel temporarily comforted that she is safe and not raging." [/I] That's your pattern with your daughter, she knows it too, so she will be expecting that response from you.......this is the next step in detaching, [I]do not respond to nasty communications......[/I]REFRAIN. And, keep on refraining. She will likely contact you once she realizes the pattern no longer works and it may get even nastier as she has to confront her own consequences. Stay strong. Keep posting.......you're doing well and often it doesn't feel very good as you change your own behavior. Hang in there..... [/QUOTE]
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Put the detachment in motion - and the gaslighting begins.
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