It's all complicated. We are supposed to take him tonight. husband wants me to stay home with daughter just in case she's upset. He says he doesn't need the support, and he has nothing much to say alone to difficult child, but it's likely to be a 3-4 hour procedure and sees no reason for us both to go through the hassle. Ok. Apparently this is an accute care facility and they will only take him for 5 days. The associated long term care facility is 3 hours away and has a 3 to 4 month waiting list. But the therapist says difficult child is (quoting my husband): "He said he "didn't want to say too much last night in front of difficult child" but he feels difficult child is very very disturbed and needs immediate help. Gosh - I thought that is what he said last night." The therapist also said this was the first step to long term care. husband is exasperated and melancholy. The therapist said to admit him tonight and if there is any trouble give him a call. He doesn't think there will be. Then after they've evaluated difficult child, husband has to ask the hospital for further placement recommendations. husband also should contact DCF (the Dept of Child and Family/CPS) and ask for assistance. And also contact any judge difficult child was before. Judges have a lot of pull in these situations. And finally, we have to contact his school and make sure the hospitalization gets into his records. It seems like we've contacted all these people and they all know and nothing's been accomplished in the past, but maybe with a therapist and psychiatrist backing them up with recommendations, it will make a difference this time. husband is discouraged, he's hoping difficult child will be gone at least through the weekend. He's sure difficult child will charm everyone and pull the wool over their eyes and come strolling out with a clean bill of mental health. husband hinted at that last night, but the therapist said there are two kinds of professionals in the child mental health field: those who understand regular children with big problems and those who understand disturbed children (?with regular problems? <my thought>). He said a lot of professionals really don't know what they are looking at when they see disturbed children and try to treat them like regular children. But people who are used to very disturbed children are not going to be fooled. difficult child's fooled so many people, I can't help to think he will again, but this therapist isn't concerned. And we have no choice but to try this, there are no alternatives. The therapist seems to take it for granted that difficult child will be put into long term care, and seems completely convinced that difficult child must have it. But I don't know how much pull he has. on the other hand, he has probably 25 years experience, and we know nuthin', and we have not alternatives, so we go this route. I think husband is disappointed. I think he was hoping difficult child would be gone longer to give us all a break. He was elated to find out we have 90 days of insurance. And we are all signed up and paid for to go on a cruise on Jun 13, and last night husband said 'he's likely to miss the cruise' then he thought and said, 'it was starting to make me nervous about him going and causing trouble, I was kind of dreading taking him'. But then later today husband emailed me how this wasn't what he dreamed of about being a parent, a father and son outing taking difficult child to the mental hospital. I have a friend at work who used to do intake for kids at a Residential Treatment Facility (RTF). She says the first night they sedate the kids because it's such a shock for them and to easy them into their new surroundings. She says also that a lot of times after a long stay kids really do come out better. They were talking on putting difficult child on the 'big gun' medications, I'm assuming that means anti-psychotics maybe? Why would they do that and release him to parents who don't know anything? You'd think they'd keep him for adjustments and observation? I think after the initial shock of suddenly committing him now, we became resolved to the idea that it was coming and it was time, and finally something intense was going to be done. And now we are finding out it's just a band-aid, a bridge, and that alot more scrambling and finagling and persuading and hassle is going to be necessary to get a summertime resolution. Of course we'll do it, but we are so tired and the struggle does seem endless.