Q's visit with the new school....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Apr 9, 2012.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    He actually did pretty well even getting there... just a little blurting and nervous stuff on the way but we went in and they gave him a tour, then brought us to a room with a table and chairs and I thought...HUH they wanted him to sit in for the intake... are you kidding me???

    So I suggested that he be brought somewhere else and they did that and I explained that he would not tolerate us talking about him, we never do that even at the docs. He actually walked out right away.... so they brought him to his class and he hung out there...we went thru the papers and at the end they said they ahd something for him, well he came in and I started to get up but they said I had to sign too...those dumb beginning of the year student conduct things that he doesn't understand anyway... duh...so he starts kicking me under the table and i move to the other end and then a child with autism just happened to be raging outside of OUR door... holy heck, why on this green earth did that have to happen. I had told them he will raise to the level of whatever is around him, I saw him start to panic and he flew over at me and started punching and hitting as hard as he could. I was in SHOCK. He stopped and since we still couldn't leave the room he came at me again and got me in the left temple. I have been lying down since we got home... he has never hit me that hard. I think it all came to a head. The worst part was that he shocked himself, said sorry went to the car and was doing a little better but he saw me crying in the mirror sos tarted telling me how I deserved it because I put him in that scary room and it was all my fault... and I LOST MY MIND. I have never been so awful to him. I am so ashamed. I said some pretty mean things and pretty much said I didn't want to even be his mom anymore. Well by the time we got home we were both calm and he KNEW I meant it that he was doing NOTHING today.... he hasn't even asked like he usually does...what can I do to make it better etc. We did talk though and I apologized but I still feel terrible. A friend told me that maybe God wanted me to see how it felt to be so out of control that I too could not do the right thing. could be. I dont think that is fair to Q but I get the lesson.

    So we are fine now and he has packed two full backpacks of all his old school stuff. I helped him sort through.... only the new notebooks not every book for the last two years, LOL. (my pack rat) He said his new school is great, that the girl who said my name is NOT D.... was probably just shy and he felt that way too so once they get to know each other they will probably be friends, right??? He is paired with a boy who does not swear and has rigid rules about things so he wont pick up Quin's swearing. I hope that helps him. Of course I assume he is not there because he is a calm cooperative kid, LOL.

    He met a therapy dog and loved him. Got to see where the therapy bird was and asked if he could meet him...he seems pretty excited.

    Wish I could say it went perfectly but my sore neck and head beg to differ. First assault since the new medication though.... I will be calling the doctor. I think since he is not knocked out from it and it does seem to make a dramatic difference, maybe we can up the dose if he seems to be going back to this panic and hit me mode.....
  2. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Buddy, I am so sorry that Q reacted that way,and that you had to take the brunt of it. Don't feel bad for what you said, we have all been there. Maybe he will understand that when he does/says those things he hurts more than your physical being, and that you do not like him very much when he behaves that way.

    Hopefully the new school goes well.
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Well he just asked me to check the one backpack he got everything down to and he keeps saying he just can't wait.... so he seems to finally be settling into things.

    His history is the first time of anything is awful. I am SURE adding all this past months stress to everything, and being torn between being in a school for kids with "issues" and being in his dream high school all crashed in on him. I am trying to be understanding. Have to say, every time he tries to refuse something tonight he is QUICKLY snapping out of it.
  4. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I am so sorry Buddy. I think you're assessment of the situation was right on. He was in FULL panic mode. I am sorry he continues to use you as his "physical outlet". As for your extreme reaction, boy oh boy, have I ever been there. Not too long ago if memory serves me right. You are still only human and you still can only handle so much (which is more than me by the way). I think he will be fine once he gets back into a routine.

    {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to you. Keep us posted tomorrow!!
  5. keista

    keista New Member

    ((((HUGS)))) Be gentle on yourself. I think it's something in the air this year. I'm so off kilter (so are a few of my friends). And yours is not the only recent post of a Warrior Mom going more off the deep end than usual.
    Your friend is right and I think we all need this kind of reality check once in a while. Certainly not fair to our kids, but what's fair about us having such kids? Life simply is not fair, but we should embrace such reality checks anyway.
  6. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    Buddy -

    Sorry Q had a tough time and hope that the next days are better. My oldest son crashed and burned his freshman year at district hs so we moved him to an alternative for 10th grade. He cried every day for the first 3 months and would rage at home that we hated him. Then, he discovered paintball and that the kids in his new school liked to play. He is 21 now and has a job (delivering food for a restaurant but it's a start), a girlfriend and he rooms with a boy and his brother that he met at this school. There are still issues but he is maturing slowly slowly (mild Aspie).

    Anyway, take some advil, relax and hope Q adjusts really quickly.
  7. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    So sorry you got hurt, Buddy. This is not good. It perhaps is a positive thing, in some way, that the school saw him "at his worst". Or am I thinking wrongly about this? At any rate, I hope and pray that when you (finally) get your routine going, all this will settle down and disappear.
  8. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    Oh Buddy, I am so sorry to hear this! Please dont go to hard on yourself.....you are only human! Deep down Q knows that you really love him! Action speaks harder than words!
    I missed the part regarding the school!!!! Is this the new school you hoped for to be accepted?
    What I am curious to know.....how did the staff handle this outburst?
    Big, big hugs coming your way!
  9. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I can only add many hugs and hopes for better tomorrows. I am so glad that he is excited about the new school. Will he have extended year services?
  10. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Buddy, please don't be so hard on yourself. We have all been there and we have all said things to our kids that we know is the wrong thing to say. But we are human and sometimes the human part of us just comes out. Think about it. If this were an adult man and he hit you, would you react calmly and say, "Now, you know that that is an inappropriate thing to do"? No! Your natural reaction would be to make sure, in no uncertain terms, that he knew that what he did was wrong and that it's not going to be tolerated. I understand that difficult children have special problems, but even with that understanding in the back of your mind, sometimes your natural reaction just comes out.
  11. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Yes he always does. He really loves school. It is about a month ...only four days per week and three-1/2 hours.
    He is dancing around now that medications have kicked in....so excited.
  12. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    That's a good thing to hear. I hope that it goes well for him.