Question about 5yo Adopted- Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS),Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by totoro, Aug 18, 2009.

  1. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    In N's Kindergarten is a really cute boy who was struggling to go in yesterday. Basically fled.
    His Dad did what the Teacher did not want him to do, which was take the boy "R" away and try to talk him into going.
    On the first 2 days of School R was sitting alone and very quiet in the beginning of class.
    Today I was talking to Dad, has another adopted daughter who was in K's class. He also has 2 other adopted younger kids.
    I asked him if R was in pre-school, I was thinking maybe he hadn't been away from Dad before. He said he had.

    He started telling me very loudly, R has a pre-curser for BiPolar (BP), has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), Mom was a heavy drug user... went on and on.

    But he was saying this with the other 2 kids in the stroller and R in the door way.

    It made me feel pretty bad.

    My question is, I am volunteering in the class at least once a week.
    R is very sweet I was watching him at the playground this morning. He is also pretty typical of our kids.
    I don't know much about adopted kids or Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). How can I help him or possibly make him feel comforted if he is having a hard time? Maybe that would be different than a Early Onset Bi-Polar (EOBP) kid.

    K needed lots of hugs and lap time. She needed things in her hands and redirection.

    The School is just starting to get BiPolar (BP) kids, I only know this because K was one of the youngest. So I have a feeling little R might be the youngest. TIA
  2. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member

    From my experience with a Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) kid and reading, they are generally sweet, extraordinarily impulsive, have major problems with not getting in other's space, know what they should do, but just can't bring themselves to do it. Behavior mod is not so effective, best thing I think you can do is try not to get exasperated and give as much positive feedback as possible to kid, positive attention. They tend to get in trouble a lot.... so a positive adult is welcome. They probably have problems with regulating emotion.

    Medication is generally not so helpful, but depends on what else they have going on.
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I don't have experience with kids that age, but I think mostly your instincts will guide you. From what I know of fetal alcohol, often the child CANNOT learn from his mistakes. Not isn't willing to, or doesn't want to, but in spite of working very hard CANNOT learn from natural consequences.

    So the boy will need a close eye, unconditional caring, and a lot of patience. I am sorry his father was loud about all the problems in front of him. Maybe if you and husband and this man become friends or work on a school committee together you could give some gentle guidance.
  4. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I go in tomorrow so we shall see!
    I also will go in once in awhile for Friday cooking fun. But for now every Wednesday morning.