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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 628471" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>You can go full bore and have her declared incompetent to care for herself - which she can and <em>will</em> contest and you likely won't win and even if you do she'll <em>never</em> speak to you again - or you can do nothing. I hate to say that but it's the absolute truth. husband's mother is a hoarder and the police are at her home on a regular basis because of her paranoid delusions. The only thing they like less than her living on her own is the idea that the state may have to take care of her because none of her children are going to take her in. </p><p></p><p>I could raise the hair on your neck with the true story of what a nightmare it was when we had to have my great-aunt with Alzheimer's declared incompetent after her husband had a stroke. It ended with her dead, $40,000 in attorney's fees (ours, the ones the neighbors hired for her behind our backs, and the neighbors' - the estate had to pay them all), and a neighborhood family who signed everything tangible that they owned over to themselves saying that she had done it before the family drove her insane by trying to have her "put in the nuthouse". Not only that but we had to pay the neighbor, who had no driver's license and was a 3 time convicted DUI felon $40 an hour plus mileage to drive her to the nursing home to see her husband every day for 3 months. That little bill was $12,000. They wanted $40 an hour for three months of 24/7 in home care, too, but that kind of fell apart when she wandered off in her nightgown one freezing November evening. Thank God she was found by a Good Samaritan who brought her to the police station. They even stole every stitch of clothing she owned.</p><p></p><p>I wouldn't wish this kind of fight on my worst enemy. in my humble opinion it would be best for her if you never brought it up again and hope that she comes to you eventually.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 628471, member: 99"] You can go full bore and have her declared incompetent to care for herself - which she can and [I]will[/I] contest and you likely won't win and even if you do she'll [I]never[/I] speak to you again - or you can do nothing. I hate to say that but it's the absolute truth. husband's mother is a hoarder and the police are at her home on a regular basis because of her paranoid delusions. The only thing they like less than her living on her own is the idea that the state may have to take care of her because none of her children are going to take her in. I could raise the hair on your neck with the true story of what a nightmare it was when we had to have my great-aunt with Alzheimer's declared incompetent after her husband had a stroke. It ended with her dead, $40,000 in attorney's fees (ours, the ones the neighbors hired for her behind our backs, and the neighbors' - the estate had to pay them all), and a neighborhood family who signed everything tangible that they owned over to themselves saying that she had done it before the family drove her insane by trying to have her "put in the nuthouse". Not only that but we had to pay the neighbor, who had no driver's license and was a 3 time convicted DUI felon $40 an hour plus mileage to drive her to the nursing home to see her husband every day for 3 months. That little bill was $12,000. They wanted $40 an hour for three months of 24/7 in home care, too, but that kind of fell apart when she wandered off in her nightgown one freezing November evening. Thank God she was found by a Good Samaritan who brought her to the police station. They even stole every stitch of clothing she owned. I wouldn't wish this kind of fight on my worst enemy. in my humble opinion it would be best for her if you never brought it up again and hope that she comes to you eventually. [/QUOTE]
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